Saturday, January 20, 2007

come to me softly

Come To Me Softly

Come to me softly in the cool, dark night
Climb beneath the covers we share
I tremble in your presence as you draw closer
Entangling our bodies with care
You soothe my spirit and quiet my mind
You pour your essence upon me
You fill me with passion for life once again
And ease this restlessness so I can be free

Copyright ©2002-2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

I am so tired..........

of banging my freakin arms and body parts on the doorknobs in this house! I have banged my arms as I walk down the hallway on the doorknobs on the 2 hallway closet doors NUMEROUS times since living here. It is NOT like I don't know they are there...but somehow I keep banging into them anyway. Various spots on my arms.....

I just did it AGAIN!! crap....this time I think there will be a knot to go along with the bruise!

"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it." ~Sidney J. Harris

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when

you take your eyes off your goal. - Hannah More

Friday, January 19, 2007

i wish

I Wish

I say it all the time, but I wish
I wish you were here in the morning when I wake up
To feel your outstretched hands on my hips
To feel your warmth in bed beside my body
Your arms wrapped around me, protecting me, loving me
Filling me with longing so strong I dare not leave your side
My hips pressed close enough to feel your heat, our skin not yet touching
Your body shifting toward mine, pulling me closer to you
Even in sleep you are ever present and aware
A lustful sigh escapes your parted lips......I hold my breath....your sleepy eyes open
Your body shifts position under the sheets, gently commanding my attention
Your fingers feel like sweltering branding irons, yet they caress my skin
Sending shivers of anticipation up my spine
With wave after wave of orgasmic bliss pulsating throughout our bodies
We begin our rhythm together
Moving as if we have known each other at least one thousand lifetimes
We satisfy like no one else ever has, ever will or ever could.

Copyright ©2002-2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

our hearts have been inseverable throughout eternity

this i know to be true

found a way to do separate pages......adding LABELS....duh

okay....for now......this will be a much better way to keep track of what I have here and a way to find things easier. I was so ticked everything was a jumbled mixed mess and you could not easily find things without scrolling through all my crap!

This makes it so much better. I have NOT gone back through my entire blog to label everything...that would take awhile since I have been at it since 2002 here. SO......I did about halfway......and then stopped. Blogger was messing up a lot and I was tired. AND.....I will slowly add some things here that I had at EFX2 before.....things about quantum physics, philosophy, manifesting and more Native American stuff and spiritualism. It will be a process. I wish there were a way to quickly import that stuff....and there might be......I just have not had time to check into it. Anyway.......for now if you are like wanting to see my photos......I now have a section for it. I will add recipes too later as I have a ton.....I just have not yet added them here to blogger. I had a separate page for that type of thing at ModBlog and EFX2......and in Multiply I think I have those things labeled. They may even be separate. Anyway......the labels taking you to a separate page containing the goods is great in my book!

I am sleepy. So sleepy in fact as I sit here working it is all I can do to keep my head from slumping forward and hitting the keyboard! I find as I am proofreading I tend to DOZE OFF! now that is sad.......

links to my dad......abraham lincoln

if anyone is interested.....he has some amazing photos and stories......he has a site up about his ARMY days spent in Japan at Camp Sendai Shi....if you like war photographs as well as other can check it out here:

and he has another site....where it is more of the story of his personal life and thoughts....and a TON of his amazing can find him here:

dad and I have had our troubles......but I am proud of many of the things he has done over the years......and I have always loved him regardless..... be fair here is the one I also did for dad last year....he turned 72.....he was sexy and gorgeous too

i'm a sap......was checking out some old photographs tonight

my mom was so gorgeous and sexy.......I have so many cool pictures of is a video/slide-show thing I made for her birthday last year......she turned 70.........I still enjoy looking at it regardless of whether it is her birthday or not......thought I would share

Thursday, January 18, 2007


Of your resonating voice so deep and soothing
The tender curve of your lips

For the sweet taste of your kiss on my skin
For your tongue to dance wildly again

For your hand to clasp mine
And your arms to embrace my soul

To quench my aching for you
This desire that knows no end

You more than the air that I breathe
And after all ... to begin again

Copyright ©2002-2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

as i lie next to you

As I lie next to you
I am your violin
All smooth curves
Waiting to be played upon

As you lie next to me
You are my bow
Straight and firm
Poised in expectation

Slowly you fine tune my body
Listening for the different sounds
Our music makes together
As your bow glides over my strings

At first tentatively
Testing the chords
Then gently plunging
With resonating bliss

Copyright ©2002-2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

“I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart.”

Vincent van Gogh

our sweet love

I lie in bed......watching....waiting.....for you
The material clings to my body as my desire for you grows
My body presses against the sheets, desperately wishing to escape
You turn to look at me...our eyes meet......a sigh escapes your lips
Our breaths turn hot.....our breathing rapid...
As you take me in your arms, pressing my breasts against your chest
So tightly I can feel your heart beating
So gently I swoon at your touch
So lovingly I melt into the depths of your soul
Your hands brand my body with each touch
They are so hot they sear my skin
Your lips and tongue begin their magic
To bring my body to attention
Passion fills me to overflowing
I pour out myself for you
Tonight we dine on our sweet love
Until we both have had our fill

Copyright ©2002-2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

white buffalo - - animals and prophecy

Animals and Prophecy

In many prophecies, the birth of rare animals represents a rebirth for humanity,
the sacred animals being harbingers of peace, as foretold by the ancients.

White Buffalo - White Buffalo Calf Woman

White Buffalo Born in 2006

Third rare white buffalo born on Wis. farm Reuters - September 14, 2006

    Milwalkee: A farm in Wisconsin is quickly becoming hallowed ground for American Indians with the birth of its third white buffalo, an animal considered sacred by many tribes for its potential to bring good fortune and peace. Thousands of people stopped by Dave Heider's Janesville farm after the birth of the first white buffalo, a female named Miracle who died in 2004 at the age of 10. The second was born in 1996 but died after three days. Heider said he discovered the third white buffalo, a newborn male, after a storm in late August. Over the weekend, about 50 American Indians held a drum ceremony to honor the calf, which has yet to be named, he said.

    Floyd "Looks for Buffalo" Hand, a medicine man in the Oglala Sioux Tribe in Pine Ridge, S.D., said it was fate that the white buffaloes chose one farm, which will likely become a focal point for visitors, who make offerings such as tobacco and dream catchers in the hopes of earning good fortune and peace. The white buffalo is particularly sacred to the Cheyenne, Sioux and other nomadic tribes of the Northern Plains that once relied on the buffalo for subsistence.

    According to a version of the legend, a white buffalo, disguised as a woman wearing white hides, appeared to two men. One treated her with respect, and the other didn't. She turned the disrespectful man into a pile of bones, and gave the respectful one a pipe and taught his people rituals and music. She transformed into a female white buffalo calf and promised to return again.

    That this latest birth is a male doesn't make it any less significant in American Indian prophecies, which say that such an animal will reunite all the races of man and restore balance to the world, Hand said. He said the buffalo's coat will change from white to black, red and yellow, the colors of the various races of man, before turning brown again.

    The birth of a white male buffalo means men need to take responsibility for their families and the future of the tribe, Hand said.The odds of a white buffalo are at least 1 in a million, said Jim Matheson, assistant director of the National Bison Association. Buffalo in general have been rare for years, thought their numbers are increasing, with some 250,000 now in the U.S., he said. Many people, like Heider, choose to raise the animals for their meat, which is considered a healthier, low-fat alternative to beef. Gary Adamson, 65, of Elkhorn, who is of Choctaw and Cherokee heritage, said tribal elders will help interpret the animal's significance.

Baby buffalo believed to be good luck charm NBC - May 10, 2006

    Evergreen: It's the first white buffalo calf ever born on the ranch, which doubles as a wild game preserve. Out of 50 head, the ranch now has three white buffalos. Some Native American tribes believe the white buffalo is a sign of good things to come. The ranch purchased two white Buffalo cows from the White Elk Ranch in Gunnison last March. White buffalos can fetch up to 10 times the average price of the more common brown buffalo. The calf's father died last winter making this baby buffalo the last generation to come from the prized bull. "It's been a tough winter and it's a promise of a great summer with the calves being born, but not only the calves but a white calf," says Ronald Lewis, with Big E Game Ranch. Lewis says he still hasn't been able to get close enough to the calf, but he feels certain it's a bull, which is even more rare.

August 2006

June 8, 2005 - Kentucky: A second rare white buffalo born in 2005
White calf named Cante Pejuta, or Medicine Heart
Her mother, formerly 'cow No. 9,' is now Spirit Mother.

    This white buffalo is unique as it links to 9/11.

    When a rare white buffalo was born Friday at a buffalo ranch in Shelby County, owners Bob and Julie Allen thought the baby had prophecy written in her genes. The white calf, regarded as a sacred symbol by Lakota Sioux and other Plains Indian tribes, is a granddaughter of the ranch's former big star, award-winning bull Chief Joseph, a hefty 3,000-pound sire that had cost the Allens $101,000.

    The bull was struck by lightning on Sept. 11, 2001, and died two weeks later. So the Allens, who own the Buffalo Crossing Restaurant & Family Fun Ranch, were delighted by the calf's birth. "The appearance of a white buffalo is regarded by some followers of American Indian spirituality as on par with the Christian idea of the second coming of Christ," said Bob Pickering, a researcher at the Buffalo Bill Historical Center in Cody, Wyo.

    As the story goes, Lakota Sioux rituals and beliefs were brought to the tribe by a spiritual being known as the White Buffalo Calf Woman, Pickering said. A white buffalo calf is interpreted as the sacred reincarnation of the woman, he said. Historically, the white buffalo is probably about the most spiritual being on the prairie," he said. Pickering estimated the incidence of white buffalo births at about 16 per million.

    He said there are three reasons white calves sometimes appear ... they may be:

    • albinos
    • the result of crossbreeding with white cows
    • temporarily white and turn dark by their first winter

    "The calf is not an albino," said Julie Allen, noting that its eyes are brown, not pink. Flicking her ears and whisking her tail back and forth, the 40-to-50-pound calf resembles a lamb. "In the past, Indians sacrificed white buffalo as sacred offerings, but now they avoid doing that," Pickering said.

Rare white bison born in B.C. - CBC News - May 25, 2005

    Fort St. John - A buffalo rancher near Fort St. John in northeastern B.C. is bracing for scores of visitors following the recent birth of a rare white calf. This is the first white calf that was born in Canada. Aboriginal legend holds that the white bison is a harbinger of peace and unity. And in that spirit, ranche owner, Blatz says she has named the male calf Spirit of Peace. To them a white buffalo is a symbol of hope, rebirth or unity and also peace. And because he was born north of Peace River.

White bison born near Flagstaff - May 24, 2004 - AZ Republic

    The owners of a small bison herd near Flagstaff were surprised Saturday morning to find one of their rare white buffaloes had given birth to something even rarer: a white calf. "This is so rare specifically because she was born white," Davis said. "The others were born red (like normal buffaloes) and turned white. The birth of a white bison is meaningful for many Native American tribes, especially Plains Indians such as the Lakota, who consider it a symbol of rebirth when the world's people are in troubled times. The white buffalo is such a phenomenon because they are so rare. None of her buffaloes is albino but rather a mutation of the usual fur color of dark brown to black. Of 11 bison on the ranch, four are white, not including the newborn. The animals on the ranch are also pure bison, proven by DNA testing at a California lab, she added, and not a mix of bison and cattle, known as beefalo. The ranch was moved onto its 5-acre site near the San Francisco Peaks in December 2001 and has had visitors from around the globe to see white bison."

Spirit Mountain Ranch in Flagstaff, Arizona has successfully bred two generations of white buffalo starting from a single white female, all with brown fathers.

  • Miracle Moon (female, born April 30, 1997)
  • Rainbow Spirit (female, born June 8, 2000, calf of Miracle Moon)
  • Mandela Peace Pilgrim (female, born July 18, 2001, calf of Miracle Moon)
  • Arizona Spirit (male, born July 1, 2002, calf of Miracle Moon)
  • Sunrise Spirit (female, born May 22, 2004, calf of Mandela Peace Pilgrim)
  • Spirit Thunder (male, born May 27, 2004, calf of Rainbow Spirit)
  • Chief Hiawatha (male, born May 16, 2005, calf of Miracle Moon)

White Buffalos in History

In 1833, a white bison was killed by the Cheyenne. The skin of this bison is hanging on the wall of Bent's Old Fort in Colorado. The Cheyenne killed this white bison during the Leonid Meteor Shower (The Night the Stars Fell) and scribed a peace and trade treaty on its skin. This event was documented by historian Josiah Gregg and other travelers on the Santa Fe Trail.

A bison named Big Medicine (1933-1959) was born in the wild on the National Bison Range on Montana's Flathead Indian Reservation, and is now displayed at the Montana Historical Society.

A female named Miracle (not Miracle Moon), was born at the family farm of Dave, Valerie, and Corey Heider near Janesville, Wisconsin on August 20, 1994. Her fur fully transitioned to brown as she matured, and she gave birth to four calves of her own before dying of natural causes on September 19, 2004. Sioux tribal members had continually visited their farm since the birth of Miracle. Additionally, a calf born at the Heider farm died aged 4 days in 1997. A third white calf was born in September 2006.

Miracle, The Sacred White Buffalo
Born August 20, 1994
Died September 19, 2004
Heider Farm - Janesville, Wisconsin

White Buffalo

White Buffalo Mythology

Egyptian Book of the Dead - Chapter 84

And when she promised to return again, she made some prophesies at that time. One of those prophesies was that the birth of a white buffalo calf would be a sign that it would be near the time when she would return again to purify the world.

This means the SHE will bring back harmony again and balance, spiritually. White Buffalo links with the return of White Buffalo Calf women - return of the feminine energies, rebirth and creation - Hathor - cow goddesses - solar discs - andhorns and cones.

A white buffalo called Ma-hi-ya-sqa was born in 1996 on a farm in North Dakota, not far from to where I traveled to attend the first Star Knowledge Conference and Sun Dance festivals in South Dakota in June 1996. White symbolizes moving into higher frequency of light and consciousness.

Legend of White Buffalo Calf Woman

To the Native Americans the birth of a white buffalo is a symbol of rebirth and world harmony

One summer, long ago, the seven sacred council fires of the Lakota Oyate, the nation, came together and camped. Every day they sent scouts to look for game, but the scouts found nothing, and the people were starving.

Among the bands assembled were the Itazipcho, the Without-Bows, who had their own camp circle under their chief, Standing Hollow Horn. Early one morning the chief sent two of his young men to hunt for game. They searched everywhere but could find nothing. Seeing a high hill, they decided to climb it in order to look over the whole country. Halfway up, they saw something coming toward them from far off, but the figure was floating instead of walking. From this they knew that the person was wakan, holy.

At first they could make out only a small moving speck and had to squint to see that it was a human form. But as it came nearer, they realized that it was a beautiful young woman, more beautiful than any they had ever seen. She wore a wonderful white buckskin outfit, tanned until it shone a long way in the sun. It was embroidered with sacred and marvelous designs of porcupine quill, in radiant colors no ordinary woman could have made. This wakan stranger was Ptesan-Wi, White Buffalo Calf Woman. In her hands she carried a large bundle and a fan of sage leaves. She wore her hair loose except for a strand at the left side, which was tied up with buffalo fur. Her eyes shone dark and sparkling, with great power in them.

The two young men looked at her open-mouthed. One was overawed, but the other desired her and stretched his hand out to touch her. This woman was Lila wakan, very sacred, and could not be treated with disrespect. Lightning instantly struck the brash young man and burned him up, so that only a small heap of blackened bones was left.

To the other scout who had behaved rightly, the White Buffalo Calf Woman said: "Good things I am bringing, something holy to your nation. A message I carry for your people from the buffalo nation. Go back to the camp and tell the people to prepare for my arrival. Tell your chief to put up a medicine lodge with twenty-four poles. Let it be made holy for my coming."

This young hunter returned to the camp. He told the chief, and the people, what the sacred woman had commanded. So the people put up the big medicine tipi and waited. After four days they saw the White Buffalo Calf Woman approaching, carrying her bundle before her. Her wonderful white buckskin dress shone from afar. The chief, Standing Hollow Horn, invited her to enter the medicine lodge. She went in and circled the interior sunrise. The chief addressed her respectfully, saying: "Sister, we are glad you have come to instruct us."

She told him what she wanted done. In the center of the tipi they were to put up an owanka wakan, a sacred altar, made of red earth, with a buffalo skull and a three-stick rack for a holy thing she was bringing. They did what she directed, and she traced a design with her finger on the smoothed earth of the altar. She showed them how to do all this, then circled the lodge again sunwise. Halting before the chief, she now opened the bundle. The holy thing it contained was the chanunpa, the sacred pipe. She held it out to the people and let them look at it. She was grasping the stem with her right hand and the bowl with her left, and thus the pipe has been held ever since.

Again the chief spoke, saying: "Sister, we are glad. We have had no meat for some time. All we can give you is water." They dipped some wacanga, sweet grass, into a skin bag of water and gave it to her, and to this day the people dip sweet grass or an eagle wing in water and sprinkle it on a person to be purified.

The White Buffalo Calf Woman showed the people how to use the pipe. She filled it with chan-shasha, red willow-bark tobacco. She walked around the lodge four times after the manner of Anpetu-Wi, the great sun. This represented the circle without end, the sacred hoop, the road of life. The woman placed a dry buffalo chip on the fire and lit the pipe with it. This was peta-owihankeshni, the fire without end, the flame to be passed on from generation to generation.

She told them that the smoke rising from the bowl was Tunkashila's breath, the living breath of the great Grandfather Mystery.

The White Buffalo Calf Woman showed the people the right way to pray, the right words and the right gestures. She taught them how to sing the pipe-filling song and how to lift the pipe up to the sky, toward Grandfather, and down toward Grandmother Earth, to Unci, and then to the four directions of the universe.

"With this holy pipe," she said, "you will walk like a living prayer. With your feet resting upon the earth and the pipe stem reaching into the sky, your body forms a living bridge between the Sacred Beneath and the Sacred Above. Wakan Tanka smiles upon us, because now we are as one: earth, sky, all living things, the two-legged, the four-legged, the winged ones, the trees, the grasses.

Together with the people, they are all related, one family. The pipe holds them all together.

"Look at this bowl," said the White Buffalo Calf Woman. "Its stone represents the buffalo, but also the flesh and blood of the red man. The buffalo represents the universe and the four directions, because he stands on four legs, for the four ages of creation. The buffalo was put in the west by Wakan Tanka at the making of the world, to hold back the waters.

Every year he loses one hair, and in every one of the four ages he loses a leg. The sacred hoop will end when all the hair and legs of the great buffalo are gone, and the water comes back to cover Mother Earth.

The wooden stem of this chanunpa stands for all that grows on the Earth. Twelve feathers hanging from where the stem - the backbone - joins the bowl - the skull - are from Wanblee Galeshka, the spotted eagle, the very sacred bird who is the Great Spirit's messenger and the wisest of all flying ones.

You are joined to all things of the universe, for they all cry out to Tunkashila. Look at the bowl: engraved in it are seven circles of various sizes. They stand for the seven sacred ceremonies you will practice with this pipe, and for the Oceti Shakowin, the seven sacred campfires of our Lakota nation."

The White Buffalo Calf Woman then spoke to the women, telling them that it was the work of their hands and the fruit of their bodies which kept the people alive. "You are from Mother Earth," she told them. "What you are doing is as great as what the warriors do."

And therefore the sacred pipe is also something that binds men and women together in a circle of love. It is the one holy object in the making of which both men and women have a hand.

The men carve the bowl and make the stem; the women decorate it with bands of colored porcupine quills. When a man takes a wife, they both hold the pipe at the same time and red trade cloth is wound around their hands, thus tying them together for life.

The White Buffalo Calf Woman also talked to the children, because they have an understanding beyond their years. She told them that what their fathers and mothers did was for them, that their parents could remember being little once, and that they, the children, would grow up to have little ones of their own.

She told them: "You are the coming generation, that's why you are the most important and precious ones. Some day you will hold this pipe and smoke it. Some day you will pray with it."

She spoke once more to all the people: "The pipe is alive; it is a red being showing you a red life and a red road. And this is the first ceremony for which you will use the pipe. You will use it to keep the soul of a dead person, because through it you can talk to Wakan Tanka, the Great Mysterious. The day a human dies is always a sacred day. The day when the soul is released to the Great Spirit is another."

She spoke one last time to Standing Hollow Horn, the chief, saying, "Remember: this pipe is very sacred. Respect it and it will take you to the end of the road. The four ages of creation are in me. I will come to see you in every generation cycle. I shall come back to you."

The sacred woman then took leave of the people, saying: "Toksha ake wacinyanktin ktelo -- I shall see you again."

The people saw her walking off in the same direction from which she had come, outlined against the red ball of the setting sun. As she went, she stopped and rolled over four times. The first time, she turned into a black buffalo; the second into a brown one; the third into a red one; and finally, the fourth time she rolled over, she turned into a white buffalo calf. A white buffalo is the most sacred living thing you could ever encounter.

The White Buffalo Calf Woman disappeared over the horizon. As soon as she had vanished, buffalo in great herds appeared, allowing themselves to be killed so that the people might survive. And from that day on, our relations, the buffalo, furnished the people with everything they need -- meat for their food, skins for their clothes and tipi1s, and bones for their many tools.

Red Heifer in Judiasm

In Judaism, the red heifer (Hebrew parah adumah) is a heifer that is sacrificed and whose ashes are used for the ritual purification of people who came into contact with a corpse. A heifer is a young cow before she has had her first calf.

In the Bible: According to Numbers 19:2: Speak unto the Children of Israel that they bring thee a red heifer without spot, wherein is no blemish, and upon which never came yoke. The animals will not have hairs of any other color, it must be in perfect health, and it must never have been used to perform work. The cow is then brought to an altar built to the east of the Temple Mount, where it is slaughtered and burned. Cedar wood, hyssop, and scarlet are added to the fire, and the remaining ash is placed in a vessel containing pure water. In order to purify a person who has become ritually contaminated by contact with a corpse, water from the vessel is sprinkled on him, using a bunch of hyssop, on the third and seventh day after the contamination took place (Numbers 19:19). The priests who have performed the ritual then become impure themselves. Continued Wikipedia

Red Heifer Born in Israel

    March 2002 - a red heifer was born in Israel. The heifer's owner contacted the Temple Institute on Friday, April 5th, 2002. Rabbi Menachem Makover and Rabbi Chaim Richman traveled to the farm where the heifer lives to inspect and validate her status. The rabbis found her to be kosher and were satisfied that this heifer could indeed be a candidate to be used in the process of purification described in the book of Numbers, chapter 19. This is a prerequisite for the rebuilding of the Holy Temple. Tradition records that a red heifer in our generation is a herald of the Messianic era. It is certainly an important development towards the rebuilding of the Holy Temple. Our sages taught that Israel's redemption can be compared to the dawn. "In the beginning, it progresses very slowly...but as it continues, it grows brighter and brighter."

Other White Animals

Norway: White moose sparks debate Aftenposten - October 6, 2006

    The striking sight of a white moose in the forests of Ostfold prompted a call for protection as the hunting season nears, but experts insisted the animal be shot. The moose hunting season starts on Thursday, and hunting parties in the Ostfold area where the rare albino moose has been sighted have asked that the animal be protected. Jon Arnemo, professor at the Norwegian School of Veterinary Science (NVH), said that the albino moose was a rarity, though not a sensation.

    It is estimated that there are about 450,000 moose in Scandinavia, of which about a third are shot every year. There are usually reports of one white moose every year. These animals are rarely very old. Their lack of pigmentation makes them more exposed to predators like wolves and they often have inferior sight or hearing. It was not yet certain that the sighted moose was a genuine albino, with a total lack of pigment and red eye, or a 'common' moose without pigmentation.

Discovery of a rare white Tree Hedgehog BBC - January 25, 2006

Rare White Giraffe Photographed in Tanzia, Africa National Geographic - September 9, 2005

White Deer - Persian Fallow Deer - Prophecy
- July 8, 2005

Rare Albino elephant spotted in Sri Lanka Nature - August 24, 2004






Wednesday, January 17, 2007

it is what it is

1. Nervous habits: put things in my mouth
2. Are you double jointed: no but very very flexible!
3. Can you roll your tongue: Yes
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time: yes...just like Spock I can!
5. Can you blow spit bubbles: um......think so
6. Can you cross your eyes: yes
7. Tattoos: virgin skin......but love them on other people- I really got into watching Miami Ink on cable!
8. Piercing – I was in my 30s before I even did my no....nothing else is pierced
9. Do you make your bed daily: usually yes.....


10. Which shoe goes on first: um....what shoes?
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone: no
12. On the average, how much money do you carry: usually do not carry cash
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7: none anymore
14. Favorite piece of clothing: um......jammies or flannel shirt


15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it: both
16. Have you ever eaten Spam: yes
17. Do you use extra salt on your food: I have never liked salt...I will however use it on corn on the cob and noodles...sometimes rump roast gravy....that is IT. I am not a big fan of salt.
18. How many cereals in your cabinet: well......some for Noah. I also have some oatmeal I think....not a big fan of cereals
19. What's your favorite beverage: water and coffee, also some teas- I do enjoy lemonade in the summer
20. What's your favorite fast food restaurant: Noah would be screaming BURGER KING...BURGER don't really have a favorite
21. Do you cook: yes and very well


22. How often do you brush your teeth: 1-2 times daily
23. Hair drying method: air dry.....sometimes finishing with dryer
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair: yeah


25. Do you swear: Sometimes nothing else expresses it like FUCK, SHIT or DAMN can!....but....I never did till I got my last divorce......oh that is not true....I DID during the marriage but tried not to...especially never around Noah. I have slipped up a few times since.
26. Do you ever spit: spit what? haha


27. Animal: I love a lot of animals....dogs are man's best friend however
28. Food: crap...too many! ole'time favorite has been HOME fried chicken, potato salad, baked beans.....but I like about anything. Would be easier to list what I don't like.
29. Month: cannot think of one I prefer over the others
30. Day: same
31. Cartoon: I used to love the Warner Bros. Cartoons and Harvey cartoons....I don't believe I have a favorite...
32. Shoe brand: I don't go by brands......whatever I like....usually pick something on sale somewhere if I can. I am not high maintenance
33. Subject in school: English, Science
34. Color: Used to be white, then black....then blues, now I am into earth tones like browns, rusts
35. Sport: I am so NOT into sports...but....I enjoy watching some college football from time to time or figure skating...gymnastics....I like the winter olympics
36. TV shows: hum.......not many choices now......I only watch a few.....Lost.....Men in Trees.....Ugly Betty is surprisingly good
37. Thing to do in the spring: take a trip
38. Thing to do in the summer: drive-in movies and grilling out
39. Thing to do in the autumn: just about anything
40. Thing to do in the winter: hibernate
41. In the CD player: it changes too frequently to list
42. Person you talk most on the phone with: tony
43. Reading: whenever I can
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors: rarely
45. What color is your bedroom: cream I think....not my choosing...
46. Do you use an alarm clock: no......I have not used a watch or alarm clock in YEARS!
47. Window seat or aisle: I do not NOT into flying anymore. IF I were to fly....I would probably pick the AISLE seat as my paranoid ass would think I would have a better chance at getting off quicker if I had to.


48. What's your sleeping position: usually on my right side now
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket: sometimes if I get chilly....
50. Do you snore: I would like to think not but I have been told I burble....haha
51. Do you sleepwalk: no
52. Do you talk in your sleep: maybe
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: I have a big ole bear on my bed......
54. How about with the light on: is off
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on: if I am on the sofa/couch or recliner I might....I would not turn them on to fall asleep however.
56. Last interesting person you met: hum.........people online

to be

To be
In your arms quietly enjoying the morning
As the sunlight begins to stream through the window
To feel its warmth competing against yours
Though it stands no chance against your heat

To listen
To the sounds of your breathing, so peaceful and calm
Not yet aware my eyes are gazing at your body
Lying in sleep yet awakening, slowing beginning to stir
Already responding to my touch in eager anticipation

To feel
Your body shift beneath the covers towards mine
Your hands reaching out to pull me close against your chest
My breasts pressed tight against your beating heart
My thighs growing moist with desire for you

To see
Your eyes open to consume me with your glance
Your ache for me begin to pulse as you allow me to explore
Your mouth open so I can hear low moans of pleasure escape
To see how much you love me, how much you want me

To have
All that we are, all that we have been and all that we will become
Build our heights of passion till our bodies are ready to burst with ecstasy
Our bodies moving, riding on waves of united love, free at last
To become one, one blissful radiant being of pure, undying love

Copyright ©2002-2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

times past

I have always felt different. Many times I feel like I am on the outside looking in. Watching, observing, waiting to see what happens next. Most times I feel like someone is watching me. Actually I always feel like someone is watching me. This seems like a bigger entity/spirit and myself all at the same time. It is weird. Well I am weird. That is what I am told anyway. I have been accused of being paranoid too. But I really don't think I am. I am cautious. Sometimes I know what is going to happen before it does. Sometimes my "inner voice" tells me to be wary of someone or a specific situation. I am fine as long as I listen to that inner voice. However, there are times in my life when I have not listened, and it has cost me some heartache. I guess that is a great way to learn.

I try to think back as far as I can in my childhood. How far back can I remember anyway? It does not seem as if I can recall much. My oldest sister told me once I have blocked things from my mind to protect me. So I could cope. So I could function. So I could exist. Maybe in part this is true. But I often wonder then what am I 'not' remembering?

I think back and can remember as far back as age 3 or 4. And even then I don't remember much. Perhaps it is after all selective memory. Perhaps it is a coping mechanism? Perhaps I just have a crappy memory. We lived in a small town at the time. My parents and us 3 kids at the time lived in a tiny house beside railroad tracks. We had no inside plumbing. This meant going outside to use a bathroom in an outhouse and taking a bath in a metal tub. Sometimes we shared the water. Sometimes not. Some summers the heat would be so intense. It is odd however as I do not remember it ever feeling actually that hot. I do recall the actual number on the thermometer a couple of times. It would reach 108 and 110 sometimes. Those were lazy days of summer. My brother and sister and I would spend all day playing house and spies or anything outdoors, riding our bikes, playing on the swingset, horsehoes, anything. I remember going shopping sometimes in the car to a store. Or driving through to get hamburgers from a restaurant or local A&W Rootbeer stand. Those were rare times. I honestly do not really remember all that much during that time. My parents did not seem to argue much during that time though that would all change later. I remember happy Christmases and making out Dear Santa lists with mom. I remember my new baby sister being brought home from the hospital.

Perhaps I do not recall much as I seemed to spend a lot of time at my grandmother's house after I was born. My mother was sick a lot so I was left in the care of my grandmother many times. Sometimes these extended visits would last for months. My grandma is like a second mom to me. But a lot more easy going and accepting. Back then I remember my dad seeming to be proud of me...of all us kids. He seemed to dote on us a bit. I remember going fishing with him and my sibs a few times and taking tiny boxes of Tidbit cheese crackers to snack on. I did everything I could to make my dad love me proud of me more. I even baited my own hook! I guess that is pretty natural with most kids. Don't we all do that? When does it stop? Does it ever stop? When do we really start living our own lives for us and quit seekig their approval or love? Why is it so important to us anyway.

I remember huge spiders in our tiny house so big and black you could see their fuzzy bodies and legs! Huge beds and bedrooms with gorgeous antique dressers with oval mirrors and large drawers that smelled like pine or oak when you opened them. I remember how the sun made our laundry smell so clean and fresh when mom hung the clothes and sheets out on the line to dry....though they would also be extremely stiff, rough, and hard like sandpaper against our skin. I remember getting sick a lot when I was little and waking up in the middle of the night with my eyes matted shut. Mom having to take a wet washcloth and lay over my eyes just to get them to open so I could see. Seems I had all sorts of illnesses when I was little. I wonder why? I remember me and my brother and sister all going to the hospital to have our tonsils removed. I remember eating ice cream and popsicles afterwards but our throats were so sore who could really enjoy anything? I remember riding in the car with no seatbelts and flying down the road about 70 miles per hour. When we hit a bump in the road us kids would go flying. Windows down....the hot breeze in our faces. Trips to the five and dime, the pet stores to see all the fish.

I don't remember mom and dad arguing all that much when we were really little. This was a blessing that would not last long. Once we outgrew our tiny house, what with my parents and 4 kids we moved to a new, larger ranch home in another town. I remember moving in and having no furniture at first...but we were there. We had indoor plumbing fact we had 2 bathrooms! Life was simple but sweet and I noticed I started to remember more. Perhaps this was because I was growing up and actually had more memories?

And so our new life began in a new town. Soon other people moved in around us and became....our neighbors. Some of those people still live around my parents today. We moved into this house back in 1962 and my parents still live there today. Many of those same neighbors also still live in their homes. Life seemed good. I remember being outside a lot to play in our fenced in backyard, during summer and winter. I remember huge snowfalls and the snow always packed so we could cut blocks of snow out with our mittened hands and build forts. Igloos. Getting snow down inside our boots and our legs turning red and chapped. Getting so wet we would have to go inside for a bit to warm up....but then going back outside again later to play all over again. In the summer we would lie back and look up at the clouds......seeing images. We played dress up, on a swing set, in a sandbox, just in the grass. We got bicycles and got to ride around the block. I remember waking up and being allowed to ride our bikes around the block. We never locked our doors....we sat inside the front room at night and watched tv. I recall watching shows like the Wonderful World of Walt Disney or The Ed Sullivan Show. Or Jackie Gleason show. Green Acres, Lost in Space, My Favorite Martian. SO many shows. And movies. Mom likes the Shirley Temple movies and Ma and Pa Kettle. And sometimes we saw Elvis movies. I remember seeing the Wizard of Oz every year it was on. Same for Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. And the Tarzan movies. All sorts of things. I remember the B-rated science fiction movies and old-fashioned monster movies. Outer Limits. On and on. We started out with 1 tv so watching tv was a family affair. Oh that is another show we watched and I loved....Family Affair. But that came much later. seemed good. But dad started to change. He worked outside of the home at the time but never seemed to be too happy. He was always under a lot of stress I guess. I am not sure. Dad started to have temper tantrums. Really bad ones. If you got in his way he would just knock you around with whatever else he was tossing around at the moment. Then there are those times when he actually came FOR you. Those times can make me feel sick to my stomach even now thinking back on them. We walked on eggshells around my dad. None of my friends wanted to come to my house to play as they heard about my dad's reputation and how he could be. I remember my mom participating in my science fairs and school concerts and such but never my dad. The only game I can remember dad ever really playing with us kids was Scrabble and that did not happen till we got much older.

No dad was dad and still is dad but definitely odd. He can be an ass. A real ass. Where do I begin? My earliest memory of my dad smacking someone around would be when he came after my mom. He had been outside working on the roof and would whistle for my mom whenever he wanted something. My mom unfortunately did not hear him this time as she was busy putting up a crib in the bedroom. I was standing outside the room and here came dad. I was maybe like 4 years old at the time. Here he came and he grabbed my mother by the back of her hair and literally dragged her out of the bedroom by her hair! He drug her to the kitchen with me screaming behind them and he slammed her up against the kitchen wall. Yeah......then he smacked her across the face so broke a tooth out of her jaw. When she glared at him and spit it out he started to laugh. Yeah that's right. He started to laugh. All I remember is bawling and crying and thinking he was going to kill my mom. Funny I don't remember mom doing anything but I think I remember her saying "don't you ever hit me again" or "you will never hit me again" to dad. That is about the ONLY time I ever recall hearing her say anything back to my dad or standing up for herself let alone us kids. That is when I first discovered what it felt like to "hate" someone and be "afraid" of someone. This was the first of many similar episodes with my dad.

in a fUnK

Don't ask me why because I could not begin to tell you. BUT I AM. I have been for awhile now.

I am simply going through the motions......and I am not even doing that very well.

I feel down......out......then get pissed.........then the cycle begins. But always I feel alone. Now I know I am NOT is just how I feel.

Which brings me to this. ALL comes down to a state of mind. What we make ourselves believe.....the lies or half-truths we convince our subconscious to believe in as truth.

Why does it have to be so damned difficult to convince ourselves we are happy no matter what?

What exactly are we searching for in our life anyway? Once we get it all will we magically know it? Will we be happy then or just for awhile? Will we convince ourselves "this is it" and finally feel complete? Or is it all just temporary fixes in get us to the next point of destination wherever that may be?

We can live half our lifetimes in a rut if we allow it. When do we decide to plow a new path?

I know this certainly cannot possibly be all there is.....and yet here I am......some days just barely able to do the least required of myself to get by......other days I go like gang busters.......and then wonder why. Who really gives a shit anyway....

yeah....see....I told you I had a bad attitude - and wanting to finally just meet someone in person is NOT helping this situation at all. The longing for what I think or believe I want is incredible. It is physically painful. I cannot erase it from my mind. It is CONSUMING my freakin is ALL I think about.......I am not sure how I can get from minute to minute and hour to hour some days let alone MONTHS........

and here I am......don't know where he is......this is likely where it will remain. I said I would ACCEPT THIS...EMBRACE IT.......but it does not mean I have to like it one damn fucking bit.

it makes me miserable. It makes me makes me makes me makes it damned difficult to read anything erotic or write anything erotic without it making the longing and ache just 1000 times worse. It constantly reminds me that this is all a dream......none has turned into reality.....once again it is all in my mind. I can think about this and imagine things till I become a very old lady and then what?

my life and heart will be filled with "what ifs?" what hell that must be?

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

see...sometimes just saying that will make me feel better...and EVEN THAT IS NOT WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shit

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

turn me on - - norah jones

Tao sexual yoga rule #1 - not that I like rules but this has some very interesting valid points



"A man may attain health and longevity if he practices an ejaculation frequency of twice monthly or 24 times in a year. (THIS DOES NOT mean you cannot make love and have an orgasm)

If at the same time he pays careful attention to proper diet and exercise he will have a long and healthy life"

[Sun Su-mo]

"As the great Taoist Doctor Sun points out, diet, exercise and sexual discipline form the three pillars of Taoist health and longevity regimens.

The principles of Tao apply equally to men and women.

In both men and women, semen-essence is the fuel that drives sexuality. It is the source not only of physical capacity for sex but also of sexual interest and emotional affection for the opposite gender.

However, since women do not 'leak' when they ejaculate, orgasm does not rob them of sexual drive and interest after the 'first act'.

Therefore, the practices required to achieve the harmony of Yin & Yang must be cultivated primarily by men.

"A man may attain health and longevity if he practices an ejaculation frequency of twice monthly or 24 times in a year.

If at the same time he pays careful attention to proper diet and exercise he will have a long and healthy life"

[Sun Su-mo]

"As the great Taoist Doctor Sun points out, diet, exercise and sexual discipline form the three pillars of Taoist health and longevity regimens.

The principles of Tao apply equally to men and women.

In both men and women, semen-essence is the fuel that drives sexuality. It is the source not only of physical capacity for sex but also of sexual interest and emotional affection for the opposite gender.

However, since women do not 'leak' when they ejaculate, orgasm does not rob them of sexual drive and interest after the 'first act'.

Therefore, the practices required to achieve the harmony of Yin & Yang must be cultivated primarily by men. This chapter is thus addressed mainly to men, although the information contained herein should be studied and understood by women who consort with Taoist men or who wish to convert their men into Taoists.

Western medicine claims that men naturally replenish their semen supply soon after ejaculation and that the male's capacity for producing semen is virtually limitless.

This is a highly misleading generalization. Simply compare ejaculation with blood donation, and you'll see the fallacy. After donating a pint of blood, you feel week and tired for a day or two, until the lost pint is replenished. Blood clinics advise donors not to give blood more than a few times each year in order to avoid chronic fatigue, low resistance and excessive strain on the circulatory system.

According to Chinese physicians, the same point applies to semen, except that the loss of semen is even harder to replace than blood.

The body must invest a lot of essence and energy to fully replenish semen supplies and re-establish proper hormone balance after a man ejaculates.

When ejaculation frequency exceeds the capacity of the body to fully replenish semen, men experience chronic fatigue, low resistance, irritation and other symptoms of essence and energy deficiency. They also lose all sexual interest in their partners, who may well be ready for more action.

True, teenage boys and young men in their early 20's replenish semen faster than they could possibly expend it, but the notion that this capacity continues indefinitely into adulthood is patently false.

It is women, not men, whose sexual potency is 'inexhaustible'. Celibacy, however is not the answer. for that deprives men of the therapeutic benefits of sexual stimulation. The answer is ejaculation control. Frequent intercourse with infrequent ejaculation maintains a mans interest in the act as well as his capacity to continue indefinitely until his partner is fully satisfied.

Men who ejaculate once or more on a daily basis may eventually 'lose their minds', since 20 percent of male semen is composed of cerebrospinal fluid. Frequent ejaculation thus causes a chronic drain of the vital fluids that the brain and spine require to function properly.

The resulting deficiency of cerebrospinal fluid can cause such increasingly common conditions as premature senility, inability to concentrate, chronic depression, loss of sexual drive and a host of other related symptoms.

Furthermore, recent medical evidence indicates that with each and every ejaculation men suffer a significant loss of zinc, a rare but vital trace element.

Frequent ejaculation thus results in a chronic, critical deficiency of zinc, symptoms of which include loss of memory, mental confusion, paranoia and hypersensitivity to sunlight. These facts seem to verify the 'old wives tale' that excessive male masturbation addles the mind, weakens the spine and leads to blindness.

The Tao enables the male member to become an all-weather instrument of equal competence to that of its female counterpart and permits man and woman to 'make love not war', while at the same time protecting the health and prolonging the lives of both partners.

Regulating Ejaculation Frequency

All schools of Taoism agree that retention of semen and proper regulation of its emission are indispensable skills for male adepts of the way.

In their writings, the adepts of ancient China each left us their own personal guidelines for determining emission frequency.

By combining their various suggestions with your own individual requirements and practical experience, you may readily determine an emission schedule that suits your personal needs.

Let's start with some plain talk from our old friend and sexual mentor, the Plain Girl. Confused by the concepts of 'sparing vital essence' and 'regulating leakage', the Yellow Emperor addressed his doubts to the Plain Girl and got this reply:

Some men are strong, some are weak, some men are old and others are in their prime. Each should live according to his own vitality and not try to force the joys of sex. Forcing joy is harmful.

Thus a robust male of 20 may ejaculate twice daily, but an emaciated one should do so no more than once daily.

A 30-year-old male may ejaculate once a day, but only once every two days if he's an inferior specimen.

A flourishing man of 40 may emit semen once every three days, but if he's weak he may do so only once every four days.

A robust man of 50 may ejaculate once every five days, but only once every ten days if he is weak.

A 60-year-old man in good health may emit once every ten days, or once every 20 days if his health is poor.

At 70, a robust man emit once a month, but a weak one should no long emit semen at all.

The Tang Dynasty physician Lee Tung-hsuan, in Mysterious Master of the Cave, used frequency of intercourse rather than day-intervals as his recommended measure for regulating emission:

When having sexual intercourse with women, a man should emit semen only two or three times in ten.

Master Liu Ching, a Han Dynasty adept credited in dynastic archives with achieving a life span of over 300 years, preferred to regulate his emissions according to the cosmic cycles of seasonal change:

In spring, a man may permit himself to ejaculate once every three days, but in summer and autumn he should limit his ejaculations to twice a month. During the cold of winter, a man should preserve his semen and avoid ejaculation altogether. The Way of Heaven is to accommodate Yang essence in winter. A man who follows this guideline will live a long and healthy life. One ejaculation in cold winter is one hundred times more harmful than an ejaculation in the spring.

The most practical advice of all on the subject of ejaculation control comes from the centenarian physician Sun Ssu-mo, the Tang Dynasty adept who outlive three emperors by practicing what he preached. His general yardstick, quoted at the head of this chapter, was twice a month, or 24 times per year. His own personal regimen, however, was only one emission per 100 copulation's. Dr. Sun lived to the age of 101.

According to Sun Ssu-mo a man should 'become acquainted' with Tao by the age of 30, and 'acquire a thorough working knowledge' of it by 40: Before the age of 40, most men are still full of vigorous passion. But as soon as they reach their 40th birthday, they suddenly notice their potency declining. Just at that very point of declining potency the myriad ailments will descend upon him like a swam of bees. If this situation continues unchecked, he will soon find himself beyond cure.

Dr. Sun repeatedly warned his male patients of the dangers involved in excessive ejaculation. He compared the situation to that of as sputtering oil-lamp: just before the fuel is spent and the lamp is about to extinguish, the flame suddenly flares up brightly, then dies:

Each and every time a man restrains himself and retains his semen it is like adding new oil to a lamp that is about to extinguish. But if a man fails to control himself and ejaculates every time he lies down with a woman, it is like removing oil from a lamp that is already nearly burnt out.

As Sun Ssu-mo sums up so well, 'If a man squanders his semen, he will soon die. For a man, this is the most important point to remember about sex.'

If a man has no intercourse with a women, his mind will grow restless and he will yearn for female company....Forcibly suppressing the natural urge to emit semen at certain intervals is not only difficult for a man but will actually make it easier to lose semen. He will lose it during sleep through nocturnal emissions [i.e., wet dreams] ...One emission of semen in this manner is equivalent to the loss suffered by one hundred emissions during normal sexual intercourse.

Sun Ssu-mo's advice to men on regulating ejaculation frequency can be summarized as follows:

  • By the age of 30, a man begins to lose vitality and should stop squandering his semen recklessly. It is time to give up the habit of masturbation and to become acquainted with the Tao of Yin and Yang.

  • By the age of 40, a man has reached the critical turning point in his life. If he wishes to prevent the rapid downhill slide into the grave which undisciplined sexual relations cause at this stage in life, he must now start practicing ejaculation control as a habit.

  • By the age of 50 his ejaculation frequency should be no more once every 20 days.

  • By the age of 60, most men should completely curtail ejaculation (but not intercourse). Exceptionally healthy men with strong libidos, however, may continue emitting semen about once a month, or, better yet, once in every 100 coition's.

  • By the age of 70, if a man is still hale and hearty, he may continue using Dr. Sun's ideal measure of once in every 100 indefinitely.

  • Practicing ejaculation control is just as important for strong, healthy males as it is for the weak and elderly. Those who's start this regimen early in life avoid the worst ravages of old age, retard the loss of vital energy and live longer lives than those who wait until middle age to begin.

  • For most men, complete abstention from ejaculation is just as harmful as excessive emission. It creates a deep yearning for sex that disrupts the harmony of essence, energy and spirit, and ultimately leads to the even greater loss of sexual essence and energy through the uncontrollable, intense ejaculations caused by 'wet dreams'.

In order to determine your own ideal emission schedule, you must first master the methods of semen retention introduced below, then follow the guidelines already given in a trial-and -error appraisal of your own vitality.

An ejaculation should leave a man feeling as light and refreshed as a woman feels after orgasm- not exhausted, empty and uninterested in further sex.

Such an ejaculation may be experienced only when semen supply is what the Chinese call "full" and "flourishing". If an ejaculation leaves you tired and depressed, you should increase the interval between emissions.

You may also help minimize the loss of essence and energy due to semen emission by learning to 'come lightly' when you choose to ejaculate.

Instead of thrusting to a frenzy just prior to ejaculation, approach the brink slowly and gently and savor the exquisite sensation of release, then deliberately 'squeeze off' the urogential canal with a deep contraction of the anus and penile shaft before ejaculation is over. This will conserve about 20-30 per cent of your semen while still providing the desired ejaculatory release. Immediately after emission, rhythmically contract the entire urogenital diaphragm for a minute or two by practicing anal sphincter locks. This tightens up the pelvic floor, which becomes loose and flaccid after ejaculation, and thereby prevents post-coital loss of chee through the perineum, anus and urogenital canal. This exercise is highly beneficial for women as well, because it prevents loss of chee through the vagina and encourages sexual energy to move up the spinal channels to the brain.

Since few men will be induced to adopt such a disciplined and unconventional approach to sexual relations unless thoroughly convinced by personal experience of its necessity and efficacy, here are a few simple experiments any man may perform to establish the truth of Tao is sex:

Try engaging in a vigorous bout of intercourse about half an hour before participating in an athletic event or stage performance- once with ejaculation and once without - and compare your resulting performances. You'll be amazed by the difference.

Or try intercourse with and without ejaculation late at night and compare the amount of sleep you need and how you feel upon arising the next morning.

An even more stark comparison is the difference in vitality felt throughout the day after having sexual intercourse first thing in the morning, with and without ejaculation.

Try experimenting with other factors as well, such as weather, mood and physical condition. You will most certainly notice a profound difference in how you feel after intercourse with and without ejaculation on freezing cold day in mid-winter, when, as Peng-Tze point out, 'one ejaculation is one hundred times more harmful than one in spring'.

Men who sharply reduce their emission frequencies during the winter season without reducing intercourse suffer far less from colds, influenza, chills, and winter 'blues' and other symptoms related to cold weather. And when you're feeling in 'low spirits' to start with, ejaculation will only drag you deeper into depression, while a prolonged bout without emission of semen is an excellent way to 'pick up your spirits'.

The same goes for physical condition: when a man is ailing, the loss of semen only makes his condition worse by robbing him of his greatest source of resistance just when he needs it most. Disciplined intercourse, on the other hand, is an excellent palliative for many chronic ailments, especially those influenced by hormone levels. Miles Davis and Mohammed Ali came to these conclusions in precisely this manner- by trial and error- and so can you.

Every man must establish his own ideal emission rate as an overall guideline, but he must also consider the unique circumstances of each occasion before deciding whether it is appropriate to ejaculate or not.

The calendar may tell you that it is time to treat yourself to an ejaculation, but if you happen to be drunk at the time, or gorged with food, or ill, then you'd best forgo that brief spasm of pleasure and keep your batteries fully charged. In the Taoist text entitled ESSENTIALS FOR NURTURING LIFE, we find the following warning:

Ejaculation is strictly forbidden when a man is drunk or gorged with food. Such emissions injure a man a hundred times more than under normal conditions and may cause dizziness and ugly sores.

Tao sexual yoga -

"Tao sexual yoga - learn how to have sex that actually promotes your health and the health of your partner. "Traditional Western hypocrisy towards sex has prevented serious study of human sexuality in the Western world until only a few decades ago.

Like everything else in Western philosophy,
sex is viewed through the lens of dualism;
it is seen as either sacred (in matrimony) or
profane (out of wedlock), with no room
for anything in between."

"The Chinese have always held the Taoist view that sexual relations between male and female are the primary earthly manifestation of the universal principles of Yin & Yang.

As such, the Chinese regard sex to be as natural and indispensable to human health and longevity as rain falling on the fields is to plant life.

The intense sense of guilt attached to sexual matters in Judeo-Christian tradition is, in Chinese eyes, one of the most unpleasant and incomprehensible aspects of Western culture.

Traditional Western hypocrisy towards sex has prevented serious study of human sexuality in the Western world until only a few decades ago. Like everything else in Western philosophy, sex is viewed through the lens of dualism; it is seen as either sacred (in matrimony) or profane (out of wedlock), with no room for anything in between.

The Chinese, however, do not draw distinctions between sacred and profane sex. As far as the Taoist are concerned, the only important distinctions regarding sexual activities are those between healthy and unhealthy habits.

The Chinese approach the subject of human sexuality with a blend of curiosity and reverence, just as they do all natural phenomena.

Since sexual relations are as fundamental to human life as eating and sleeping, Taoist adepts devoted a lot of time and thought to researching its every aspect and implication for human health and longevity. In a society happily free of sexual repression, Taoist physicians took a long and careful look at human sexual behavior, and they candidly recorded their findings in journals and books, couched in the usual florid Taoist terminology.

Consequently, the Chinese have been able to approach and study sexual relations between man and women, with open eyes and open minds, and they have, over three millennia, become the world's most astute observers of human sexuality, as well as the most inventive lovers."

The essential difference between the sexual nature of man and woman lies in the different nature of male and female orgasm.

When a man ejaculates, he ejects his semen-essence from his body.

When a woman reaches orgasm, she too 'ejaculates' all sorts of sexual secretions internally, but these are retained within her body.

For both men and women, sexual essence is an important storage battery for vital energy and a major source of resistance and immunity.

In conventional sexual relations, a man ejaculates every time he has intercourse, regardless of his own age or condition. This habit gradually robs him of his primary source of vitality and immunity, leaving him weak and vulnerable to disease and shortening his life span. Meanwhile, the women gets stronger and stronger, both from her own orgasmic secretions and from her assimilation of potent male semen-essence."

time is - - by Henry Van Dyke

Time Is
Too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love,
Time is Eternity.

benefits of making love....

Its important to remember that making love is a type of exercise. When in a healthy, committed, and loving relationship making love can be very healthy. Making love is amongst one of the healthiest forms of exercise and is a great stress reliever. There is also evidence to suggest that making love can relieve headaches and enhance the general well being of the human body. Having sex or making love three times a week for the whole year would be the equivalent of jogging 75 miles. Sex increases the supply of oxygen making the human body healthier. There is also evidence to suggest that sex can balance out the good and bad cholesterol as well as reducing the overall cholesterol count. There is also some evidence to suggest that pain can be relieved through regular sex. Studies on women show that sex can reduce the risk of heart disease. The advantage for men is an increase in bone and muscle strength although this is an advantage of all exercise. Finally sex can help ease depression.

making love versus just having sex.......

Somewhere along my past year of "enlightenment" I have realized a lot of things. Some not so great.......some downright sad.

Making love is truly cherishing another person. It's about connecting and communicating tenderness, respect and affection. It's about showing a fellow human that he or she is a unique, gorgeous, beautiful gem by caressing, kissing and, most importantly, gazing into that person's eyes, aka the windows to the soul. When I make love, I want more than anything to show my partner how appreciative I am of him at that very moment, that I love him as he is, that I can see beyond the exterior.....The bond is are taken to another level of existence where time stands still....

Imagine my horror to finally realize at this point in my life....I have yet to experience this "in person" with a man. It is amazing the crap we fill up our minds with.

time for coffee....and need to start is now 12:45 a.m.

and everyone else I know is likely sound asleep by now.


updating......taking freakin almost done.......hoping my fingers will type fast tonight....well...this morning

and I swear I hear Noah up and moving around in the next room. He better be asleep.......

rethinking my barefeet........they are starting to feel like ice cubes

by the is an interesting FYI: Did you know male elephant's ejaculate averages 1/2 pint and can contain 60,000,000 sperm? (Gives a whole new meaning to take a load off)

sorry......momentarily warped

Monday, January 15, 2007

slow 60 (stole from tony)

slow 60...

1.mac or pc?...what kind of question is that? MAC OR PC? they are both pcs
2.what do you read?...pretty much as much as I can get my fingers on
3.movies or dvds? they mean theaters or DVDs? Well I rarely get to go to the movies so I guess it would have to be DVD....though there is nothing like seeing a movie on the big screen or DRIVE-IN (IF you actually watched the movie while there) haha
4.where do you live? a glass house
5.favorite pet?...all of em
6.favorite sibling?...I have to plead the fifth for fear I will tick someone off ( happens again)BUT I guess I treasure them all about the same though I do have more in common with 1-2 than the others so we probably get along a lot better. My youngest sister and I are very much a like and despite the age difference we have a blast together!
7.bedroom wall color[s]?...who is checking the bedroom WALLS? um...I think they are a creamy vanilla of birth?...July 5
9.visit museums? to when I can
10.favorite kind of sex?...there has to be a favorite? How about just actually HAVING it? or charge?...I rarely carry cash these days but that does not mean I charge things either a musical instrument?...I can play a bit of piano, guitar and harmonica and flute (like Native American flute)
13.soup or salad?...cold days are better for soup and hotter days for salad
14.milk or juice?...I don't seem to drink much of either....I love water and COFFEE
15.night or day?...both have excellent upsides you garden, indoors or out?...are we talking vegetable garden or something else? would say yeah......when I can I enjoy it....but as I get older I don't is a lot of work. slippers?...I tend to prefer going barefoot...but...have and will wear slippers or sandals
18.fave movie genre? not really have a favorite long as it is a good movie!
19.visit art galleries?...when I can
20.favorite vegetable[s]?...I love corn and cauliflower and broccoli....though beans and peas are also good (oh...let's not forget POTATOES-yams and whites) or country living?...what...what I prefer? Or what I am doing? I probably prefer semi-country....tis good to be off somewhere private but not too far out in the boonies!
22.toast and?...jelly or jam......though peanut butter on it is good from time to time and so FILLING!
23.position for best sleep?...well now it is on my right side
24.cats or dogs? em both but dogs a bit better cause they are more lovable and personable
25.favorite car?...I don't really have a favorite
26.formal or casual?...either as long as I am comfortable...but I tend to be a lot more casual more than not you still play?...of course..but NOT head games
28.coke or pepsi?...neither anymore...I drink mostly water and coffee....some teas...
29.long or short hair? I love long!
30.quiet or background music/sounds?...either whenever appropriate or not

31.rough or gentle?...gentle, rough when needed
32.early riser?...well sort of......I am working in the early morning hours before going to sleep
33.visit historical sites?...yes I have and would again. It is always interesting to do so.
34.favorite meal? of my all-time favorites is still fried chicken, potato salad and baked beans. Yeah....I also love just about anything GRILLED...ALL food is damn good fixed like that! I love MEAT. I eat a lot of it! As often as I can.
35.sports or mental tasks?..I have NEVER been into sports much....I never understood why anyone would want to go running after a ball for fun. Or exert all that energy and for what? would be all MENTAL for me......
36.loud or quiet sex?...both when appropriate. Not like you can plan that or always stop it either!
37.broadband or dialup?...I have used both....have broadband now....much faster!
38.rain or snow?...I enjoy both
39.favorite season?...I love the fall.......spring is good too and winter....early summer.....I am not into extreme heat and humidity extremely hot sticky summers are not my thing unless I am sitting stripped in front of an AC!
40.left 'home', full time, at age?..AS SOON AS I WAS ALLOWED TO MOVE OUT. I graduated at 17 and the next month turned 18 and I moved out!

41.indoor or outdoor type?...either shopping/banking?...ALL the time
43.favorite fruit? like bananas a lot! hahahaha.....I also like berries.......just about any kind. I like apples but they always leave me feeling hungry unless I slather them with peanut butter! you draw/paint?...I do but never seem to have time for either these days
45.visit zoos?...not very much because I feel so incredibly bad for the animals there
46.parents still living?..yes
47.favorite holiday[s]?...I have always loved Christmas and that time of year....Thanksgiving is nice too......
48.woods or beach?...both are nice
49.mashed or baked?...either/or
50.favorite color?..not sure I have a favorite anymore- I am more into earth tones now......greens and browns and rust......but I like about any color really......

51.gravy or drippings?....they can both be good but I do not eat much gravy - genre?...eclectic for sure......too varied to make sense you sing?...sometimes
54.underwear or commando?...I prefer wearing as little as possible whenever I can get away with it! or tea?...MOSTLY COFFEE...which I adore! I also enjoy tea however. you drive?...yes
57.tall or short?...I am 5 feet 6 inches without shoes
58.are you a writer?...yes
59.favorite snack? we talking foods?
60.your best friend?...mmmm

what kind of empath are you? (I had to do a tie breaker)

EMPATH: Empathy is one's ability to recognize, perceive and directly feel the emotion of another person. As the states of mind, beliefs, and desires of others are intertwined with their emotions, one with empathy for another may often be able to more effectively divine another's modes of thought and mood. Empathy is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes", or experiencing the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself, a sort of emotional resonance. In fiction, especially science fiction or fantasy works, it may also refer to (or be associated with) a supernatural ability to read others' emotions through psychic means. I have finally just accepted I have this ability or disability. I am working on what I can do with it because if you can receive all this crap in but then cannot positively release it back are in a real bind. AGAIN this is something I have never talked about much with anyone most in my family anyway would likely not believe me or think I was off my rocker.

You scored as Universal. You are a Universal Empath, you possess all the qualities of the other seven empath groups. You are what is known as an "Implicate" or Imp, a product of evolutionary design and genetic mutation. You are a psychic hybrid. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander at







Fallen Angel










What Kind of Empath Are You?
created with

here is what judge means:

You are a Judge Empath, one who is a "truthsayer". You can tell truth from lies, good from evil. You do not tolerate wrong doing. You are a defender of the good and the innocent. You are kind and merciful but do not play foolish games.

and healer:

You are a Healer Empath. You take in the energy of others and transmute it. You trigger transformation in others and free trapped energy. You are capable of great healing abilities. You walk between the worlds and bring waves of healing energy with your presence.

(I have to say that the above is all very true. Something I talk little about....but all true. I am also a STICKLER for truth. ANYONE knowing me knows that. However...whether or not I choose to apply my knowledge of what I know to be truth is another story.....and whenever I have chosen to ignore the truth it has always slapped me upside the head).