Friday, April 25, 2003

We went to see Keith's oldest daughter and her new baby today and Isaak. Isaak is something else. He can be downright mean and rough. I don't like for Noah to play with him too much because of this. For example:

BEFORE we even got out of the car...I told Noah that if Isaak tried to push or shove him or hurt him to let me or Keith know. To say "no"...and let us know. I was holding the baby. Isaak seemed mellow at first. Once Noah was in though he changed. He started to rough house in the front room. Keith had taken him an easter bucket with these nerf type balls in them. Isaak could not wait to get them out of the bucket to begin throwing them as hard as he could at Noah. Poor Noah just stood there...saying "no". BUT Isaak ignored him and kept tossing them and laughing. Noah did not quite know what to do. He knows we don't let him throw anything let alone balls (even if nerf-like) at people especially IN the house. PLUS..the house was a little messed Noah had no place to run to. honest. It was unreal Kelley says she is cleaning all the time. I guess she took some time off. I don't go to visit someone to check out their house and part of me feels guilty or bad for even mentioning this...but don't most of you if you know company is coming over at least pick up somewhat and have a place for people to be able to come in and sit down etc? NOT HERE....dishes in the sink and table....trash all over the place....sofa....floor......etc. It was a mess. Makes you feel so special to know someone went to all that effort to WELCOME you into their home huh? Anyway...Noah stood there. Keith was trying to tell Isaak to quit throwing the balls. I finally told Keith and Noah we don't let him throw anything in our house and he was not to throw the balls back to Isaak. This worked...and Kelley finally told Isaak to STOP throwing the balls at Noah.

THEN....he jumping up and down on the floor...>Noah was just about going to do it too. Keith said no....and Isaak said "let's go to my bedroom". So off they went. I was not happy about that at all. Visions of Isaak hurting Noah played in my mind. Meanwhile I was holding the new baby....who is very cute by the way. SO TINY though...still only 7 pounds, 11 ounces now. Anyway.....I could not get up off the sofa....I heard Noah saying over and over from the bedroom quietly "". SO>>.I finally told Keith to go check on him because Isaak must be doing something to him. He checked. Here Isaak had taken his play tools and was FIXING NOAH. Keith asked what had happened to his cheek. NOAH's CHEEK. Isaak brought out this monkey wrench that works and he said I fixed Noah's cheek with this. Noah's cheek had marks where you could see where ISAAK had put flesh from his cheek into the wrench and tightened it down. Like a looked like a C-clamp. Now Noah has been told at school to be nice and to SAY nicely no....and to not push or shove..etc. AND Noah may have thought Isaak was just playing and he may not have known this was not OKAY to do. BROTHER. I was ticked. Noah did not seem to be that hurt...and they played some more. Next thing I know Isaak was chasing after Noah trying to STAB HIM WITH A FORK!! That was about when I told Keith we had to go. I had told Keith this was what I was afraid would happen. Anytime Isaak is around Noah these days he wants to pretend to shoot him...stab him.......push him...bite him...things like that. Noah would be MUCH better off not being around that. Keith totally agrees!! I told Keith if Kelley does not stop things in their track now..Isaak will just become more mean and more evil.....and probably begin to prey on other more helpless things. Like animals or his baby brother. Not sure...but sometimes kids start out that way. He looks like a child that has fetal alcohol syndrome...and they can develop behavioral problems as they get older. Course Kelley and everyone would deny him ever having anything like that. But he looks like he has it. I know the man she got pregnant with Isaak was on drugs and alcohol a lot..and Kelley I believe drank and could have done drugs then. Not would not be a total shock to me. ANYWAY......we left there...ran to Super Target and then out to eat. Some kids there were exactly like Isaak..mothers not watching them or correcting them. They were just running wild. Meanwhile Noah was watching them. He then wanted to go play the car race games they have there. Keith and him did that for 2 races and stopped.Noah proceeded to try to have a temper tantrum. I told Keith to sit him down. I told Noah he better get ready cause we were going. Meanwhile Keith went out to get things ready. Noah let out a scream "DADDY" as loud as you can imagine and high pitched. It was the first time I have ever seen him act like that. I told him to come to me so I could talk to him. He did...I picked him up and told him we don't act that way at home and we certainly do not ever act that way in public. He calmed down.....we got him a refill and left. SEE...just BEING around wild kids like that rub off on yours. I told Keith we were never like Isaak as kids...or if we ever tried I am SURE we were put in our places and GOOD!! He said he did not remember being like that either. I told Keith this is another reason why I am really leaning more toward a private religious school or home schooling..haha. ALTHOUGH I know they have problems too. I just don't want Noah to be around some of the people in the world that he does not or should not be around. There is plenty of time for that down the road. I certainly don't want him around anyone like Isaak as a role model. stomach was in knots by the time we left. I would NEVER have left that go on in my house. Kelley did not really say much at all. So you start to imagine down the road 10 years....15 years...and how our kids will end up if the world is all still here by then. I don't think things look favorable for Isaak if things don't change soon.

ANYWAY..that was our exciting morning. It is now nice....being home where it is picked up and organized and clean...and QUIET!!! Sun is shiningand all is right with the world. FOR NOW anyway.

More later
Well...I watched a show on Oprah yesterday about losing weight. WOW...those people were pretty impressive and motivating. got me to thinking about ME...and WHY I don't seem to do anything about losing MY extra weight. SO..I have vowed to eat better and less and move more. Today I tried to just walk to get my mail. This was just around the corner! My heart was pounding by the time I was halfway there. I just kept thinking of that one woman on her show that had difficulty doing the same thing..but she lost her weight. AND I kept thinking of what Oprah do it FOR YOUR HEART!! I am SURE my heart is begging me to lose 25 pounds, 50 pounds...something to HELP IT OUT SOME. So...I am going t start. I MUST DO THIS. IF I were really good and like some of those people on her show..I could be at my goal weight by the end of this year. But here it is April already..and almost into MAY!! drove by the lake where I would like to go walking some mornings. I was just coming home from work and not really dressed for walking there. SO...that is when I decided to start slow..walk to get the mail...and do some exercises in my house to hopefully build up my endurance some. I am still going to start walking too. I was walking every day here for awhile. That only lasted about a month. Walking around a lake might be better for me as it is beautiful early in the mornings. So....we will see. I am sitting here drinking my coffee. Having a nutrition bar. So far so good.

I LOVE NOAH so much!! He shut off the computer last night...came over to me...he looked super tired. He crawled in my lap and I held within 2 seconds he was sound asleep. I noticed him breathing....and his and my breathing were in the EXACT same rhythm and pattern. I wonder if that has anything to do with him growing inside of me for 9 months? It is wonderful to notice things like that. There are many things about him that remind him of me. We also seem to have this "understanding" and "connection" where many times we can just look at each other and no words are even necessary. We KNOW what we are both thinking. He is so sweet and loving.

Thursday, April 24, 2003

WOW..I remember when I was little and my grandma used to have such a HUGE bra..or so I thought. I NEVER thought I would see the day when MY OWN bra could be used as hats on small children!!