CLINGY GALS AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT THEM...

I noticed this interesting post on another blog about women and why they sometimes feel or get "CLINGY" and thought I would share it. (OF course it also applies to clingy men). I know I personally do not like to be smothered and yet I want to know without any doubt how my partner feels about me. I agree with this post because I believe as long as any partner feels secure in the relationship and there is no doubt how the other feels about you....it eliminates the need to be clingy. Only when one withdraws and pulls back for whatever reason...which in turn causes doubt...does a person turn into into Saran Wrap.

I've noticed something over the past month or so that may, or may not, help you. Most guys hate clingy women, and from my own experience, I think I know why a lot of women become clingy.

Clingy women often have a low self esteem, are not secure in their situation, and lack self confidence. So in order to help a woman become less clingy, give her more attention and make her feel secure. How, you ask? Like this...

GG makes himself available to me 24/7 - honestly. No matter where I am, or what he's doing, he tells me to call him if I need him. Basically, he puts himself on call. Guess what happens? I become secure, and don't feel the "need" to call him. Seriously. I know he's there, and wants to be there, so the need to cling to him is gone. I don't call unless I absolutely need to, and that's rare.

He also holds me, and tells me that it's going to be ok when I get upset. He reassures me, in a supportive rather than fatherly way, that it's all ok. He doesn't condescend me, or make me feel like a child. He validates the fact that I'm upset, and comforts my emotions. Guess what happens? My self esteem increases because I feel like my emotions are validated, making the need to call him, less.

It's simple things that only take a little work, that will help ease a lot of the drama that women tend to carry. If a woman feels secure, cared for, and confident in her situation, she won't be as clingy. Ok, I'm talking more about myself here, but hey, if it helps, great!

I've found that men who are more secure with themselves tend to be more "caring and sensitive" towards a woman's feelings. This is helpful because it allows him more freedom to enjoy a life of his own.

GG can go out with the boys, and I don't even bat an eye. He makes me feel secure enough that I don't worry about what he's doing, because there's no need to. He's sincere in his actions, and that goes a long way.

AND for women who are guilty of being one of "those women" ...you know....the "Nice Girl..." Too clingy, too nice, always changing their plans to accommodate the man...If you want to assert more authority and get over your clingy needs....this book may be of interest. YES..."WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES"....the author here showing you how to create a new "bitch" which is essentially the acronym "BABE IN TOTAL CONTROL OF HERSELF"....could make for an interesting read no?

Focus....Believe......You CAN do anything...

"There is an invisible box that we have created around ourselves, which defines our horizon. Things within this box are within reach, achievable, see-able, safe, touchable, believable, feasible, possible. "Outside this box is a region beyond our wildest imagination. Things in this domain are too much to handle or contemplate. They are beyond reach. We rarely think about things that lay awaiting us in this outside box, so we never end up busting thru our own self-imposed barriors." - Usiere Uko

the power of this clip isn’t so much about the idea of “giving it our best” or the ideal of persistence as it is in the PROOF that we can EXCEED any self-imposed limits through internal vision.

Be Gentle With Yourself...

Be Gentle with Yourself
By Jafree Ozwald & Margot Zaher
www.EnlightenedBeings.com

“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” ~Gandhi

How often are you gentle with yourself? Perhaps you have pondered this idea, yet never knew how to implement it. We will teach you how, it is easy! First we invite you to truly wonder what your life would be like if you were just a little more gentle with yourself. This means that if you screw up in life, miss your exit on the freeway, or even lose your cool with your mate, that you treat yourself with more loving kindness and gentleness. We invite you to explore this experience all throughout this week. Notice how many times in a day you are “hard on yourself”, and see what happens when you gently replace that hardness with gentleness.

Live your life gently. Be more like water. Water is soft, flowing, and yielding, yet with time and direction it can cut through any solid metal or rock. Look how simple yet powerful the river is that flows through the Grand Canyon! With this new commitment to being gentle with yourself, you'll soon see how easily you slice through any hardness inside. It is this hardness that creates arguments and eventually dis-ease in one’s life. Remember that the human body is made up of 65% water, and 70% of the brain is pure water! Four hundred gallons of water are recycled through our kidneys each day. Your life truly is more fluid than you think it is.

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.” ~St. Francis de Sales

This moment contains the possibility of a miracle because YOU have the choice (right now) to respond to your life and everyone in it differently. This conscious ability to respond to others from a more enlightened, free, gentle and loving space comes from practicing these qualities with oneself. Others treat you how you treat yourself. When you are constantly being gentle with yourself, others will only be gentle with you. This gentle energy of self-love is MUCH more productive than anything else you can do with your time here on Earth. No amount of therapy is going to fix you if there is no self-love. Gentleness is the doorway to loving and truly caring for yourself again.

"Be gentle and you can be bold." ~Lao Tzu

learning to detach from your thoughts...

The key to mastering the mind is learning to, as the Buddhists say, "surf on the waves of your thought,"--a happy alternative to letting yourself get tossed and pummeled by them on the shore. You can do this by observing your thoughts as they come and go, watching rather than reacting. Your thoughts, like waves, will arise naturally -- but now you have the tools to ride them smoothly.

For the next few days, notice when your thoughts start racing and stress levels begin to escalate -- and take that opportunity to stop and observe this process. What are those thoughts about? Where are they coming from? What's causing them? The more you can detach from spiraling thoughts, the less likely you are to become victimized by them.

Watch and breathe...

love ...

Love is the Answer to Every Question

If you touch one thing with deep awareness, you touch everything.
~Thick Nhat Hanh

From the beginning of time we have been attracted to each other and to the continuing cycle of life, to gain sustenance, grow and play out a destiny together. This attraction leads to admiration, love, and in due course to higher vibrations of light energy. At love’s first blush, our combined energy is a powerful thing to behold. We can practically see the stars light up as we become the focus and center of the earth, of our Universe. We are in awe of each other as we discover the wonder and bliss of being together, being one. The mirror is perfect as it reflects the joy and power of sharing. This is perfect love, perfect joy and perfect peace played out in a reflection of the other.

Romantic love is the prelude to a partnership in life’s journey. This powerful journey provides nourishment to the soul, and alas, ego builds as the perfect complement to life. More definition comes to the partnership as a family begins and we take our place in the community.

When we look down at our first child and realize this gift from the Heavens, the perfect creation and complement to life has unfolded. Great steams of energy shift our personal light ever higher in a brilliant illumination that everyone recognizes. The joy and love in this reflection of self is an awesome experience that many share and all recognize. Love answers the ancient call to generate more love.

Loving from the deepest part of ourselves, given without expectation or judgment allows the blessed object of our desire to flourish. Both participants of the mirrored partnership find balance and healing in this renewing exchange of energy. In this simple exchange we truly see the other at a soul level while reciprocally giving of self. This is easily recognized and understood with lovers, children, friends, and also with pets. Energy shifts back and forth as we take some, and give some. Food for the soul, this nourishment is a critical part of loving, and often overlooked in our driven lifestyles. Keeping love’s energy vibrating high requires that we see each other, feel each other and give to the other in the way that meets our personal needs.

Let’s look at this from a different perspective, a plant for example. What kind of growth would occur in plant life if we only put water on it and deprived it of food? We all need different types of food to flourish. Plants get their energy from light; therefore, they need light to live and to go through the natural photosynthesis process. They will subsist without other nutrients, but not thrive. For plants to go beyond survival to thrive they need additional nutrients as the soil is depleted. Plants also need to be loved and admired. Ask anyone with a green thumb why their plants do so well. They will readily admit that they love their plants. This is the difference between a green thumb and a brown thumb. The green thumb gardener gives their plants attention.

Even an object, such as a car needs attention. Car lovers provide more undivided attention to their vehicles than some parents give to their children. They wash, rub, polish, admire, take pictures of and fully appreciate their vehicles. Thus love creates beauty in the eye of the beholder. Not so easy for someone with whom relationship is a struggle.

The relationship that is a struggle is the most important of all. I am not referring to abusive relationships, but those that seem to cause discomfort. This is where we really grow into ourselves. Learning to see past the projection in this relationship of our most unwanted traits is the first step in true love of self.

Difficult as it may be to admit, that mirror is there because we have invited it into our lives. Get rid of the mirror and another one appears to take its place. Get rid of the relationship and it will be back exactly like the last one. When we allow ourselves to witness this part of self, accept and love ourselves, we are empowered. We have come to know and embrace all aspects of humanity.

Providing the energy of love is all there is in life. Love is the answer to every question. Give unconditionally to what you behold, especially those parts that are not well understood. Observe and give without judgment or expectation. Witness the mirror’s heart, the fulcrum and core of the reflection. This is love fulfilled, baring and exposing itself to both sides of the mirrors edge in a dance of compassion. Love is co-creating itself in splendor and adorning itself in the light from our deepest and purest soulful reflection.

Love asks nothing, but to be. Whatever is left within the circle of love falls aside in appreciation of its self. We need only share that self and in the giving, we both grow and move to the next level of beingness. When we find that fulcrums edge in each mirror we behold, the relationship or beloved object comes full circle and energy’s light shifts again in deep revelation.

Lifted to perfect balance, we co-create our lives in full recognition as duality becomes complementary rather than apposed to the other. Touch one thing in pure conscious awareness and our veil is lifted. We ascend to full consciousness, and the circle of life fills with a purity and peace that nourishes the spirit. As love becomes the answer to every question, we live life in a mirror-less world of full abundance: materially, emotionally and spiritually.

About the Author

Shirley Ryan is the author of Searching for the Waters of Antiquity: A Follow-Along Meditation Process (Soul Moments Publishing, $24.95), a meditation tool with a unique integration of symbol and archetypes demonstrated her painting and meditation skills. The founder and president of Working Together, a business specializing in helping people manage life’s changes in mind, body, and spirit, Ryan has worked as a professional life coach since 1994. See her work at www.searchingforthewaters.com

Being True to the Inner You

We each operate within belief systems that are in no way exactly the same, even if there exist some similarities between them. In a way, we each walk around within our own bubble colored by our past experiences and the understandings and conclusions we've made about ourselves and the world at large from these experiences. We co-exist within multiple realities, yours, mine, hers, his, and so on. The beauty of this is that reality becomes about what's true for you at this moment. Before you can understand the true nature of your reality however, you have to look within and find out what your stored conclusions are.

For the most part, these are not at the forefront of our conscious awareness and so require us to look within and examine the layers of our attitudes. We have to check-in with ourselves and find out what our fears are and why we have them. What are they? Are there fears about our immediate world or are they shadows that we haven't faced? Look around your immediate surrounding. Are your fears about the world in this moment, your attitudes, based on what is immediately around you? Or is it based upon your perception of someone else's reality? If the latter, can you really know someone else's whole reality or do you only see the small snippet of the outer end? What does this mean?

We have to check-in with ourselves and find out how we define who we are. How do you define who you are? Is it through the identities you hold or is there something more to you? Are you friend, wife, son, daughter, and so on? Or is there something more?

In essence, you begin the train of questioning as to who you are, what you want out of life, what you think life has been about so far and where it is going, and engage with the layers of your inner understanding. It is only from here that you can begin to honor your own truth. To honor it, you have to first know it.

Being true to the inner you begins by understanding what your internal conclusions about yourself and the world are, and working within your own perspective to grow toward your version of truth. Khalil Gibran's poetic words on self-knowledge convey this beautifully when he writes "Say not, I have found the truth, but rather, I have found a truth." The point is that, no one can claim and convince you that there is only one truth. No one can come or should come and claim to you that they have your truth. What's more is that your version of truth will evolve as you do, as you grow and change.

Let the rose of self-recognition blossom in your heart so that you can live life directly from it

the GOD part of the brain....

“Excellent” Edward O. Wilson, Pulitzer Prize Winner; Author of Sociobiology and Consilience "Alper uses a Socratic technique to brilliantly and flawlessly argue that our concepts of spirit and God are derived from the mechanics of our brain...enormously important...full of scientific and philosophical truths." Mark Waldman, senior editor, Transpersonal Review "Hauntingly Logical..Fascinating" Art Bell, "Coast to Coast am”

I have found this topic to be extremely interesting. I tend to be a seeker. I am eclectic in that way....I never tire of learning as much as I can about as many different things as I can. I seek truth above all things.....I am a stickler for that. In my dealings with the religious world I have unfortunately been shaken awake to find out I have been lied to many times over.......we all have......and that bothers me. SO I continue to seek out information......hopefully uncover more truth than fiction.

I have heard this topic about the "God spot" talked about on radio talk shows......and read many interesting articles about it...it has been discussed in the quantum physics articles I have read which fascinates me too......

I have a friend who was extremely religious and believed in God prior to suffering a head injury. He fell 30 feet and landed basically head-first and has not been quite the same since as far as his feelings regarding GOD or even A god. It was almost as if his belief in God....his knowledge of any feelings spiritually, etc......had been snuffed out after that portion of his brain had been damaged. This is not to say that portion cannot be healed or rejuvenated.... but what I found interesting was how what his injury did to his belief corresponded to what this book and others have said about their being a specific portion of the brain set aside for this.

I have found some extremely interesting articles over time pertaining to this. If I copy and paste them all here now there would be nothing but pages of it to sift through. Not everyone is interested in it.....and my blog is not solely about it.....so......Here is a link that lists many of the articles.

http://atheistempire.com/reference/brain/main.html


I also found today this which was of huge interest to me:

ALTRUISM, one of the most difficult human behaviours to define, can be detected in brain scans, US researchers claim.

They found that activity in a specific area of the brain could predict altruistic behaviour — and people's own reports of how selfish or giving they are.

Although understanding the function of this brain region may not necessarily identify what drives people like Mother Teresa, it may give clues to the origins of important social behaviours like altruism," said Scott Huettel, a neuroscientist at Duke University, North Carolina, who led the study.

The researchers set up an experiment in which they put 45 students into a functional magnetic resonance imaging scanner, which takes images of brain activity.

They gave the students various games to play, and told them that winning earned cash for either themselves or a charity. The students had chosen the charities beforehand from a list, the researchers report in Nature Neuroscience.

The students reacted differently depending on whether they won for themselves or for charity, with the ones who described themselves as altruistic responding more strongly.

The task was simple, and the students did not give up payments to themselves to give to the charities. But it took enough effort that Dr Huettel believes it did represent altruistic intent.

The researchers were surprised by their findings. Some other studies had predicted that giving would activate the reward systems in the brain. In fact, another centre was activated when the students won money for charity or watched the computer win money for charity.

"This area we saw was the posterior superior temporal cortex," Dr Huettel said. "It's part of the parietal lobe. What this brain area seems to be involved in is extracting meaning from things you see."

Dr Huettel's team asked the students how altruistic they were, and found the test strongly correlated with their own reports of unselfish activity.


hum......wonder what they will be able to tell next from scanning our brains? One would think they would be able then to tell us how often one thinks of other specific things like sex, eating, etc.....or if it reveals more just from "intent".....wow.....this is all amazing....but also a bit worrisome......as I would be slightly apprehensive that in the future someone might try to use this knowledge to decide how someone's brain should be or not be......and they might begin to feel they have the right to decide what is correct and acceptable and anything not acceptable well....they just eliminate..change......or destroy altogether.

guess my paranoia is acting up again

this CLEARLY resonates with me right now

January 15, 2007

Uncover Your True Face
Underneath the Mask

Many of us know the feeling of being stuck in a particular role within our families, as if we are wearing masks whenever we see the people we love. Maybe we are the good daughters, expected to always please others, or perhaps we are the family clowns, expected to be jovial and make everyone laugh. This same scenario can play out within a work situation or a group of friends. We may be so good at our role that we hardly even notice that we are wearing a mask, and yet, deep down, we know that we are not free to simply be who we really are. This can leave us feeling unseen and uneasy.

There is nothing inherently wrong with wearing a mask or playing a role. It is a natural part of any social dynamic and it can even be creative and fun. It only becomes a problem when you feel that you have no other choice than to wear that mask, and this is especially challenging if you realize you are never without one. Perhaps you have forgotten who you really are—a vast and unrestricted being of light—and have identified yourself completely with a role. You may be the dutiful, caring son who keeps his parents’ dysfunctional marriage intact. You may be the angelic wife who enables your husband to continue on a destructive path. You may be the cheerful daughter to a deeply depressed mother. Whatever the case, knowing the motivation behind your performance—the function of your mask—can help to uncover your true face.

Anytime we find ourselves stuck behind a mask, it is an indication that we are entangled in a dysfunctional dynamic in which our true self cannot be seen. We have been placed in this situation for the purpose of our own healing and, in some cases, the healing of others. From this perspective, life can be seen as a series of situations that call us to remove our masks—gently, and with great compassion for all concerned—to reveal the beauty underneath.

i believe - posted by a friend on another blog site but I agree with it all

I believe - . . .
That just because two people argue, it
Doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't
Mean they do.

I believe - . . .
That we don't have to change friends if
We understand that friends change.

I believe - ....
that no matter how good a friend is, they're
Going to hurt you every once in a while and
You must forgive them for that.

I believe - . . .
That true friendship continues to grow,
Even over the longest distance.
Same goes For true love.

I believe - . . .
That you can do something in an instant
That will give you heartache for life.

I believe - . . .
That it's taking me a long time to become
The person I want to be.

I believe - . . .
That you should always leave loved ones
With loving words. It may be the last time you
See them.

I believe - . . .
That you can keep going long after you
Think you can't.

I believe - . . .
That we are responsible for what we do,
No matter how we feel.

I believe - . . .
That either you control your attitude or it
Controls you

I believe - . . .
That heroes are the people who do what
Has to be done when it needs to be done,
Regardless of the consequences.

I believe - . . .
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe - . . . That my best friend and I can do anything or
Nothing and have the best time

I believe - . . .
That sometimes the people you expect to
Kick you when you're down, will be the ones to
Help you get back up.

I believe - . . .
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the
Right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the
Right to be cruel.

I believe - . . .
That maturity has more to do with what
Types of experiences you've had and what
You've learned from them and less to do with
How many birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe - . . .
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven
By others.
Sometimes you have to learn to.

I believe - . . .
That no matter how bad your heart is
Broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe - . . .
That our background and circumstances
May have influenced who we are, but we are
Responsible for who we become.

I believe - . . .
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.

I believe - . . .
Two people can look at the exact same
Thing and see something totally different.

I believe - . . .
That your life can be changed in a matter
Of hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe - . . .
That even when you think you have no more to give
You will find the strength to help.

I believe - . . .
That credentials on the wall do not make
You a decent human being.

I believe - . . .
That the people you care about most in life
taken from you too soon.

Stress management



A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience,raised a glass of water and asked, "how heavy is this glass of water?

Answers called out ranged from 8oz. to 20oz.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, theheavier it becomes. "

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. "
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.

Healing Rhythms Training Tip

The key to mastering the mind is learning to, as the Buddhists say, "surf on the waves of your thought,"--a happy alternative to letting yourself get tossed and pummeled by them on the shore. You can do this by observing your thoughts as they come and go, watching rather than reacting. Your thoughts, like waves, will arise naturally -- but now you have the tools to ride them smoothly.

For the next few days, notice when your thoughts start racing and stress levels begin to escalate -- and take that opportunity to stop and observe this process. What are those thoughts about? Where are they coming from? What's causing them? The more you can detach from spiraling thoughts, the less likely you are to become victimized by them.

Watch and breathe...

Cause for Celebration - Honoring Everday Life

December 29, 2006
Cause for Celebration
Honoring Everyday Life

We all know someone who keeps plastic covers on his or her couch in order to protect it. The irony is that many of these people may live their lives without ever having actually made contact with their own furniture! This is a poignant and somewhat humorous example of the human tendency to try to save things for special occasions, as if everyday life weren't special enough to warrant the use of nice things. Many of us have had the experience of never wearing a particular piece of clothing in order to keep it nice, only to have it go out of style in the meanwhile.

It's interesting to think of what it would mean to us if we let ourselves wear our nicest clothes and eat off the good china on a daily basis. We might be sending ourselves the message that every day we are alive is a special day and a cause for celebration, and that we are worth it. There is something uplifting about treating ourselves to the finest of what we have. It is as if we rise to the occasion when we wear our best clothes and set the table beautifully, as if for a very special guest. We are more mindful of where we place things, what we are eating, and who is with us. Using the good china, eating in the dining room, and taking the plastic off the sofa might be an invitation to be more conscious of the beauty and grace inherent in our everyday lives.

If there are things you've stashed away for a special occasion'a bottle of special wine, a gorgeous pair of shoes, an antique lace tablecloth'consider taking them out of their hiding places and putting them to use tonight, just because you are alive now to enjoy them, and that's a great cause for a celebration.

Beyond the Juggling Act to Living in Balance

Beyond the Juggling Act to Living in Balance


"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by
the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour.
Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover" - Mark Twain

If tennis balls represented areas of your life, how many balls are you currently juggling? Too many? Which ones are you dropping daily -- is it spending quality time with your family, working out, planning for your business, or doing what you love to do? In today's world, we are constantly juggling our priorities and trying to make everything fit. How does one maintain balance and still be a juggler? Most people find this aspect of life both exhausting, and stressful. You don't have to live your life on the edge of collapsing. You can create a balanced life where you have time and energy to do what is really important to you.

How balanced is your life?
Exercise: Take a blank sheet of paper, and write down the words Health, Relationships, Career, and Spiritual life. Then rate these areas of your life on a scale from 1 to 10 with 10 being absolutely perfect and 1 being in the royal dumpster (absolutely terrible). Convert these ratings into centimeters, and draw a box with four lines that are the length of the rating you gave each of these categories. For instance, if you gave yourself a 3 in the area of health you would draw a straight line 3 cm long. Then, if you gave yourself a 7 in the area of Career you would draw another line 7 cm long . This will give your a clear picture of how your life looks. What does your box look like? Is it lopsided? Is it a rectangle? Does it have a big opening or gap because the lines don't connect? If you had a balanced life, your life would look like a perfect square.

Develop a vision of each area of your life.
Life is not a dress rehearsal. You only have one shot at designing a life that is perfect for you. In order to create a balanced life that supports you, you need to have a vision of what you want to create. A vision is something that you stand for happening in the future that orients all of the decisions that you make. Having a vision allows you to consciously channel your energies and time into avenues that will ultimately result in your dreams.

Ask yourself these questions to help illuminate your vision.
- What is really important to me?
- What do I want to create in every area of my life?
- When I look back on my life at the age of eighty, what do I want to have experienced or accomplished?
Turn over the sheet of paper, and write down the category where you scored the lowest. Then, write down your vision for this area of your life by asking yourself the above questions. For instance, in the area of health, a possible vision could be that you want to be completely fit and trim, and be able to run a marathon. Lastly, write down two action steps that would help you achieve your vision. For instance, two steps could be exercising 5 days a week, and eliminating sugar from your diet. Continue this exercise with each of the categories.
Create space in your life for what is important.
How can you begin implementing the actions steps that you have just written down on your paper. Most people have trouble adding new commitments because their life is too full of things that must get done. The first step in designing a balanced lifestyle is to clear out some space for new activities that support the hitherto ignored areas of your life. Here are two ways that you can begin to create space for what is important:

a. Eliminate activities that are no longer supporting you.
What are you doing out of obligation or habit? Make a list of all of the activities that you do. Then ask yourself if each activity is bringing you joy and helping you create your vision. If the answer is no, delegate it or drop it. For instance, if you dread cleaning the house every week, hire a maid instead. With the time you save, you can go to the gym and begin actually developing your vision of physical health.

b. Under-promise and Overdeliver.
Over-promising can throw you off balance. A sense of urgency causes you to ignore certain parts of your life in favor of one specific task that must be completed immediately. When you under-promise, you give yourself ample time to do the task which
* allows you to keep your commitments in the other areas of your life.
* eliminates rework due to mistakes (an all too common time waster).
* enables you to deliver ahead of schedule, resulting in the respect and admiration of your clients and thus attracting more business opportunities to you.

Where are you over-promising in your life? I challenge you to begin to under-promise today, and see how dramatically this new habit can change your life. In fact, one coaching client used to get in trouble for finishing projects behind schedule. She began to under-promise by giving herself 3 extra days to do a project. After a few months' time, her boss promoted her because he was so impressed with the way that she was now finishing projects on time. Go ahead and see how this
new technique can work for you.

Schedule your big rocks into your life first.
Your big rocks are things that are a priority to you, and that positively impact your life. Some examples of big rocks could be going to the gym, writing a book, learning French, meditating, etc. What are your big rocks? Sand and pebbles are the things that naturally fill in your day and that you tend to do automatically out of habit or necessity (i.e. eating, watching TV, going to work). Most people have trouble finding time for their big rocks because their life is filled up with sand and pebbles. In other words, they are so busy just keeping up, and doing everyday things that they don't have time to do what really matters (i.e. the big rocks). However, when you schedule big rocks into your agenda first, the sand and pebbles of life can easily fit in between the big rocks. This technique will help you reorient your life around your priorities and re-establish more balance.

There are two important keys to making this work:

- Honor your appointments with yourself as you would an appointment with your most valuable client. You will be more effective and productive if you take the time out to do things for yourself.

- Set strong boundaries. Be vigilant about people asking you to give up your plans in favor of their needs. Write down your boundaries so that you know where you stand. Then, begin saying "no" when people ask you to give up your big rocks.