Saturday, January 17, 2004


Which Season are you?
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You came from the sky. Your a daydreamer and prefer
to have a good look on situations.

Where did you come from?
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Your soul is bound to the Glass Rose: The

"My heart lies somewhere between perfection
and dust. And while my soul is a sight to
behold, I shatter at the blink of an

The Glass Rose is associated with perfection,
beauty, and frailty. It is governed by the
goddess Aphrodite and its sign is the Looking
Glass, or Tenuous Love.

As a Glass Rose, you have a beautiful soul and
naturally attract people to you. Love comes
naturally to you, but it hardly ever lasts.
Though you embody the perfect form of love,
your own faults are your own undoing.

What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
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SELENE: You are selene!
Beautiful, vivacious,
fierce and seductive, Selene vowed she would
destroy Lycans after her family was murdered by
the werewolves. So ruthless is she that selene
is a member of the Death Dealers. This elite
Vampire warrior class's mission is to make the
Lycans extinct.
Ever wish you could be a

Which UNDERWORLD character are you?
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So...ended up taking Noah to the doctor yesterday. He has a viral infection that is spreading to his ears. SO...he was given some more medicine for his ears and some cough syrup with codeine if he has been coughing so bad and sometimes almost nonstop. Fortunately...he seems to be feeling a TINY bit better I think. He got a better night's sleep so that is good. We talked to the doctor about Noah's preschool issues...and asked about testing for fragile x syndrome. He ordered it and we can have that done anytime if we decide to. I meanwhile typed up a letter to send to the doctor so he can go over it before we take Noah back for a check up and his 5 year BOOSTER shots on Jan. 29th. I am not sure about testing for fragile x syndrome as I don't really know if Noah's school planning etc would be any different than it is now. The main thing is to re-train his brain to perceive and send messages to his brain he does not have behavioral problems or sensory problems. AND....if he DOES have fragile x could only have been passed by his maternal grandpa which would be his grandpa Lincoln. MY DAD. Dad would poop his pants if he thought he carried some gene that could be passed onto his grandkids to cause them problems wouldn't he? Oh well.....kind of complicated how all that gene stuff works. Does not necessarily mean there is anything wrong with you....just you might be a carrier. AND you may never know you are if you yourself have no problems. And dad would have gotten that gene from his grandfather. Super odd huh?

Ran down to work and am already back and working from home. Have tons to do. PLUS I want to get the Christmas stuff down today or this weekend! WAY past time for that!

Not much else happening right now. Need to get some work done. Maybe a quiz before I go..hahah

Thursday, January 15, 2004

MAN..another migraine. I guess BECAUSE I normally get one now before my period starts and it should be my period as I am overdue? Let's see..Noah is still sick. Coughing all the time...runny nose and sneezing..eyes look funny. Been treating his symptoms with over the counter stuff for now. He does not have a fever so that is good but he sure looks and sounds miserable. He is finally eating some toast. So that is good.

Doing laundry today. Have the windows open a is 60 degrees outside already. I made chicken enchilada casserole for lunch. It was pretty good.

I go into work tonight. Have a staff meeting at the hospital on Monday I am now REQUIRED to attend 6 per I guess I will have to make it down for that. I still don't think I should have to PERSONALLY be present as the notes are typed out for each meeting (the minutes) and I can and have just been reading those anyway..which should be enough. This is something personal I think my supervisor wants to make me do for some ODD reason. IF I do NOT make it to at least 6 meetings per year....I don't get my POINT or POINTS credit(s) for that portion on my annual review. LIKE WOW.....that would make such a HUGE difference anyway. Yes...I have a bit of a bad attitude. They keep telling me they have cut the budget but yet hire more one else is being hired to help me out (which in a way I guess means better job security for me?) no...I think in the long run I will end up officially having to work through Medical Records to do the transcription work..unless I put my foot down and talk to the head honcho! I should be doing that now about these mandatory meetings. Of course IF I do not make it to all 6 then I guess she could say I have ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT in the coming year right? I mean I have a life outside of work don't I? GOOD question these days. I have to sleep sometime don't I? It just totally TICKS me off I have to run down there for a waste of time meeting for 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours...if that when I could read the minutes and know everything I need to know. THAT was all I was required to do in the the minutes and sign off that I had read them. So let's review is in August and I only have ONE meeting under my belt for this year. A meeting in September I was going to attend got canceled. So that took care of #2. Oh well. I could actually care less.

I have to get a load out of the dryer. Back in a bit.

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Saw the fox several times yesterday till almost noon. Very odd for a fox. I also saw a hawk or owl fly into the pine tree outside our balcony window. Maybe something was dead somewhere and they were looking for it to eat it? ODD both of them would be out like that in broad daylight. I have seen coyotes out here in broad daylight but not usually a fox. AND this was no baby. She kept running around like she had lost something and was looking for something or was lost.
So...Noah apparently woke up in the middle of the night last night saying real loudly "What?". Keith asked him who he was talking to and he said "angels". Makes you wonder. I was at work at the hospital. Noah has never awakened in the middle of the night before or done anything like that....I mean talking in his sleep..etc. He always wakes up in the middle of the night but usually goes right back to sleep.

He stayed home today. Not feeling well. He has a cough and sniffles...his cough sounds really loose. Maybe he will be up to returning to school on Friday. We will see.

I am swamped with work. They keep telling me the budget has been cut but they keep hiring new people but say that they cannot afford to hire anyone to help me out. Sound odd to anyone but me?

Guess that is about it. I made chocolate pudding dessert last night. NOW I KNOW why I normally don't make it. I have a hard time NOT eating it..even when I am full or not hungry. I will eat it. AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Got my Mike Wazowski (sp?) antenna topper yesterday. Talk about cute!
WoW..I just saw a red fox walking QUICKLY down my sidewalk out front.....amazing! HUGE healthy looking one..strange to see them in the daytime. I guess it is late getting back home? Ran back to the field.

Monday, January 12, 2004

Well....I don't know about anything anymore. First of all..we take Noah to school. His first day back in like 3 weeks. I go on to get my mammogram done and have a pelvic/pap with some LUNY doctor I have never seen before. Noah goes to school...Keith gets a call that Noah was pushing this one kid's empty wheelchair around (we have a child that has spina bifida that goes to school there but does not always have to use his wheelchair). Anyway..Naoh was apparently pushing this kid's wheelchair around. When the teachers tried to stop him reportedly he BIT one of them. heard me right again...BIT one of them. I was stunned. From an ongoing problem of biting to NO problem biting to an ongoing problem to NO problem to where he tries to bite all the teachers when he has a "major meltdown" to now this. I am so sick and tired of just even TRYING anything at this point...I am seriously considering HOME SCHOOLING Noah. He does fine here and has NEVER BITTEN or even TRIED to bite anyone else around us or at home. He apparently did well other than that..and they of course want him to come back on Wed. They said he was not doing it to be mean..only doing it because (they think) he cannot express himself and gets frustrated so he lashes out? WHAT?????!!!!!! He gets frustated at home sometimes or at other places too and never bites anyone. SO who knows. I am about at CRYING point and feel like just giving up and saying forget THE SYSTEM altogether.

THEN I go for my mammogram. That went well..but I had like an HOUR wait till I see a NEW OB-GYN. This guy was a trip. I mean he was an old fuddy duddy who apparently is very set in his ways. I got the impression NO one talks back to him. Well...MISS MELINDA WALKING HORMONES did today and I think he was stunned. First he did the breast exam...kept pushing on an area I have wondered about my right breast. I was about to tell him that was an area that felt tender a lot but he finished up and I guess felt it was okay. Course MY SIZE does not help whenever you have to be PALPATED anywhere I guess like on the abdomen as the fat gets in the way..etc. So...he sits down and asks me all these questions. Age...."let's see you are 40 or 41?" I said NO..I am 45. He said "OH ...I guess I READ that wrong in your history". He then said "I see there is a history of ovarian cancer in the family?" I again said "NO" and he again said "OH I am sorry I guess I must have read that wrong too". I am beginning to wonder what kind of QUACK I have. "So I see the last time they recommended genetic counseling for breast cancer history but I see you did not follow through with that?" I said "yes..I did not follow through with it because WHY would I when even if the test showed the gene to POSSIBLE breast cancer...would not mean I WOULD get breast cancer some day. I may also I did not follow through with it". He then proceeded to tell me how he was SURPRISED a doctor had even recommended I have genetic my risk for breast cancer was not that high. Let's mom has had it..her sister died at 42 years of age from breast cancer that then spread. HUM.....I have never had a doctor yet who did NOT say this did not increase my risk for breast cancer. He said ONLY if MOM had also had it BEFORE menopause. SO.....I asked about getting the CA-125 blood test to RULE OUT ovarian cancer. I told him I knew it is not a very accurate test in woman BEFORE menopause..and there are many false positives..and sometimes it will be normal in a woman with ovarian cancer..but what to do? SO..he proceeded to tell me WHY bother with that? It was not was the only way to see if anyone had cancer of the ovary..and in my case..with ALL the surgeries I have had in my life...WHY do any additional surgery even exploratory as it would increase my risk for adhesions and possible bowel obstruction..etc. I looked at him and said "THAT has got to be the CRAZIEST thing that has come out of your mouth since I have been in here". He kind of looked at me amused and stunned. I said "because I don't want to DIE from ovarian cancer!!"...which I felt was a pretty damn good reason to want to RULE this out. I cannot help it if this is the (unfortunately) BEST test to rule out ovarian cancer the medical field has come up with. Short of exploratory surgery and biopsy (which I believe could be even done from BELOW and therefore NON-INVASIVE) there is NO other way to see if you have ovarian cancer or not. He basically said nothing is fool proof and in his mind why risk the side effects of surgery to SEE if you have it. I GUESS you would have to be in END STAGE ovarian cancer before this doc would be willing to do anything. I have a cyst on my remaining left ovary now that has been there for a few months. I am now 45 and going through the change (YES..he agreed with me on this). He said times have changed and we are not as radical about things as we used to be. He was STUNNED I was only 22 when they removed a cyst from my right ovary and then took the entire ovary, tube and my appendix out all at the same time. He wondered WHY. I told him I was only told it was the size of a lemon...and that there was no portion of my ovary that could be salvaged. He was still surprised and acted like that was something that NEVER happens. OR should never happen..especially in a 22 year old. He kept saying he wished he could know the reason behind that...but guessed we never would. I TOLD him the reason but he just DID not hear me I guess. So......I wondered about any doctor who could not read your history correctly and RETAIN he had no worries..if I EVER was going to consider any surgery..I WOULD NEVER let HIM be the one to do it anyway. So he did the PAP test...and then decided (after telling me he felt it was all GI related problems) that he would do a rectal exam. After shoving his fingers inside as far as he could and twirling them around like he was trying to wash the inside of a glass out...over and over again. I finally said "look...DON'T RAM your fingers up there again like that", "I have had enough done and enough symptoms to KNOW when it is GI related or not..and THIS IS will NOT find anythin wrong in my rectum!!". The assistant in the room started laughing and left. The doctor very MEEKLY said "Oh sorry.....I guess you are right". LIKE DUH. He said well rectal bleeding is something to worry about. See..I have had rectal bleeding WITH my periods now for about 18 months. ONLY associated with my periods. It is a good indicator of WHEN my periods will start now for me since many of my other symptoms don't occur or my cycle has been so messed up. I will start to bleed rectally before my period actually starts. This will happen a day before usually and then continue into the cycle..but as I continue to have a period eventually the rectal bleeding stops. Of course he asked all the same questions all the others have asked. LIKE are you SURE it is coming from the rectum? LIKE DUH...YES...I have stuck my fingers...kleenex and a TAMPON inside my VAGINA and there is no BLOOD there but the toilet is full of blood and there is blood from my rectum when I wipe..> is not RUNNING magically out of my uterus when I have a bowel movement to then suddenly disappear. NOW grant it..this will NOT be the first time MY BODY and its actions will not be easily explained away by the medical field. So he said again..well..he would think this sounded more like a GI problem. I said well..could be BUT AGAIN I AM HAVING NO GI SYMPTOMS! I have had enough to know the difference between the 2. This feels FEMALE related. I asked about endometriosis as I had read online about it causing rectal bleeding with periods. He said yes that could happen but since I had a colonoscopy performed a year ago they should have seen something. I asked WHY..he said they should have seen a lesion or something there causing the blood to come through from my periods. Then he goes on to say that the only TRUE way to test for that is to put a patient on a course of Lupron for 6 months..which puts you into INSTANT MENOPAUSE (with possible side effects of course). IF your symptoms go is endometriosis as your symptoms WILL go away post menopause. If they is something else. Course I was not thrilled about that....and was trying to convey that I was more concerned about the ovary and I knew most of my problems and complaints now were probably HORMONE related and once I GET to the magic moment of no more problems would be relieved. I also have to worry about a physician who has a hard time looking you in the face. He rarely looked me in the eye when talking to me. He kept looking down or other places. OR perhaps it was because he had this ENTIRE conversation with me while I was still sitting there with a piece of paper barely covering my breasts and another draped across my bare naked butt and legs? I thought it would have been nice if he at least would have allowed me to get dressed first before having a 30-45 minute discussion in his office. conclusion. He is now a bit worried about the cyst and my symptoms. Wants me to have a repeat vaginal ultrasound. IF the cyst is still there or has changed in size..etc..he will probably agree to the CA-125. If the cyst is gone..he feels all is well in the world. BUT be safe I should come back every 6 months for an exam. If the cyst is there but has changed we will have to worry about it he said and monitor it every few months to see if it is changing or growing in size...etc. If that happens...we will go from there. I found it odd that the first physician I went to about my complaints said the opposite about chances of adhesions etc.. I know the risk is there from the different surgeries I have had..etc...but the first doc said and acted like it was not a leigitimate risk or that I had not had that many extensive surgeries to increase my risk? WHO KNOWs..maybe he did not read my chart well either? NOW...if it was cancer. I get the impression this doc I saw today would be of the mind set to "let's wait and see approach". Meanwhile you get end stage cancer and die. GEE...I guess he would find out huh? SO..I finally told him "Look. I am a patient and I have to be my own advocate. If you are telling me you will NOT do a CA-125 test if I ask for one..I will find another physician WHO WILL do it". He again was stunned I actually asked something for my own behalf. He finally agreed to do it if the ovarian cyst is still there...and go from there. TALK about frustating and I WILL NEVER see this OB-GYN again.

I then have to go back downstairs to schedule the ultrasound as he said IT WOULD BE EASIER to walk back down and do it rather than call. I get down there and wait at the front desk for 15 minutes while the receptionist talks to another woman and schedules her for something. FINALLY she asked me if I had a question. I told her my OB-GYN said to come back down and blah blah blah. She told me I had to put my insurance card in the slot and take a seat and she would be with me soon. YEAH RIGHT. I said forget it (now 20 minutes later) and I would CALL in for it.

I then stop by Chick-Fil-A to take home lunch as it is now 12:30 and I have spent 2 1/2 hours at the doctor's office. The man in front of me could not decide what he wanted as he changed his order like 3 times. Then he forgets he has a coupon. FINALLY I am done. I am now home...getting a headache. Have to work tonight and the saga goes on. I am about at wit's end. I think Noah should stay out of that preschool and we should seek help soley for his expressive language problem if that is what his problem is...and I don't see how sending him to a preschool over and over where he is subjected to FRUSTRATION to the point where he feels like biting someone is helpful for him in the end. much to think about.

AND THAT has been my day so far and it is only 2:18 now!

Sunday, January 11, 2004 about this...."QUIZ QUEEN"????hahahaha
Maybe I should change the name of my blog to QUIZ CITY? haahah
You, my friend are a true individual. You most
likely hate trends and are creative. By seeing
things differently, people either admire you or
think you are a bit strange. I'm guessing you
are a lot like me. Perhaps a Good Charlotte
hater? I hope so. An inspiration to us all,
continue being you! (If you like GC, I'm sorry,
I am just expressing an opinion)

A Deeper Look Inside Yourself (with pics)
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You are guided by water. You are generally calm and
peaceful, but you can be very destructive
without even realizing it.(Rate my test)

What force is your soul?
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Boy Gets Stuck in Animal Game Machine

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. (Jan. 5) - A 7-year-old boy had to be rescued with the help of a locksmith Saturday after crawling into a supermarket's stuffed animal game machine while his father talked on the telephone.

Jeffrey Roland Debbink

"He was sitting right in there with the stuffed animals," said Shift Commander Mark Zittel of the Sheboygan Fire Department.

He said the boy, whose name was not released because he is a minor, crawled through about an 8-inch-by-10-inch opening to get into the glass enclosure via a chute where the toys come out, but when he tried to get back out his way was blocked.

The stuffed animals are prizes that can be hooked by players with a crane-like device.

"His dad was three feet away at a pay phone," Zittel said. "He was talking on the phone and he said the next thing he turned around and the kid was in the thing."

Talk About It

Post Thoughts | Chat

He said the boy stayed calm and didn't panic as firefighters responded to the Piggly Wiggly store and then moved the game machine to the back of the store and got a locksmith to open the main loading door. The process took about an hour.

"There was no panic," Zittel said. "We could have broke the glass if there was an emergency."

The boy was not injured or traumatized but desperately had to go to the bathroom, he said.

But rescuers hadn't figured out how the boy was able to crawl into the game, or why no one in the store's busy lobby spotted him and stopped him before he got inside.

Copyright 2004 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. All active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL. bed.
The Dreamer

Your Jobs: You need a job where you can make a
difference and work with people. You would make
a good counselor, nurse, or social worker. You
could also have a job dealing with creativity,
like an artist or a long as it
effects people in the long run.

You want someone who is laid back and lets you act
the way you want without a hastle. You dont
want to control them, but you also dont want
them to control to you.. which is why the magic
fades after you date a Villian. You need
someone who likes you EXACTLY the way you are.
Your dream guy=Sam from Lord of the Rings
Your dream girl=Willow from Buffy the Vampire

Most Likely...
You most likely...
Are a Cancer, Aquarius, or Gemini
You have a strong love of nature and animals,
children, and hate seeing the innocent hurt.
You probably do not support the War in Iraq
You enjoy far fetched movies like kooky animes and
Disney films

Best Friends: Creators, Other Half, Child, Dreamers
Love Interests: Creators, Villians, Dreamers
Enemies: Leaders and Kings, Stars

COMPLETE~~With Text Images~~The Super Ultimate Personality Quiz: Who are you? (With long answers!) All answers available, including your ideal job, ideal love interest, and more all in one answer!
brought to you by Quizilla
Elijah Wood
Please rate this quiz I worked hard on it thanks
and I hope that you had fun

What Celebirty are you going to MARRY?!(14 outcomes with pics for anyone)
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Your soul is absolutely butt naked and proud of it!
You bear your soul to everyone you know. You
could say that your soul is a slut, but maybe
your soul just needs a little love and
attention. Try writing poetry. (I'll bear my
naked soul to you when you rate my quiz if you
know what I mean. Wink wink.)

How naked is your soul?
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Your an Umbrella. Umbrellas a kind, caring people,
that watch over others. Everyone respects you
and views you as a good example. Your friendly,
non-judgemental, maybe sometmies even to nice.
Umbrellas are amazing people.

What random object are you? Many detailed outcomes - find out about your personality!
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Fresh Mint.
You are caring and friendly. You have a nurturing
personality and always help out a friend in
need. You are fairly outgoing, and always show
a friendly face. You truly care for other
people, and you show it. However, you may
neglect your own responsibilites or become over
involved in your friends' personal affairs.
Most Compatible With: Orange

Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
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So....a local store has a new SHOP ON LINE service they offer where you can shop ONLINE (DUH) and they will then deliver all of your groceries to your DOOR! Sounded like a great idea, especially considering we were wanting to get like 4 bundles of firewood too...and hated having to bring all those up our steps. So we tried it out. Not too bad actually...but the driver could not find our house and then about 3 1/2 hours PAST the end time of our original scheduled delivery time the driver (A NEW ONE) finally showed up. Got some good deals and the delivery fee was 9.95 but because I SHOPPED ON LINE I got 10.00 off so my fee was basically FREE. all the groceries put away and am exhausted!!!

Keith, Noah and I were all sitting in the room. Noah at one at this one and Keith on the sofa. All of a sudden my snowmen from Hallmark that sing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" when you PUSH a button went off ALL BY ITSELF. Now that is weird huh? I know in the past we have had toys of Noah's go off all by themselves in the middle of the night even. Especially ones with lights and sounds....very weird. I have had a Christmas snowman with a red light (NO SOUND) go off all by itself in the middle of the night. Makes you wonder. I personally DO NOT believe it is just a battery issue.

Well....I go to the OB-GYN Monday...have a mammogram done..and my check up and a physical supposedly. I am waiting for the OB-GYN doc to tell me he does not do physicals..but the scheduler said he did. So we will see.

My neck and glands have been bothering me and now Keith is complaining of his neck hurting too. I wonder if we have MONO or something?

Such an exciting update I know. It hit 70 degrees today. WOW..lots of sunshine and fresh air. Seemed like spring and/or early summer!! Got our cars washed and cleaned up really good on Friday. Good thing..they were really dirty. LOOK nice now.

Need to pay some bills and do paperwork and oh yes..TAKE MY CHRISTMAS stuff down and put it all away. I think I am going to take my time but shoot...I can't take too long. It will be Valentine's Day before you know it. Seems time goes by so fast these days. I ache all over....need to wash my make up off and get my PJs on and relax. concept!

I called mom today and talked to everyone there. Becky, Melissa and Audrey were there too. I need to call Grandma tomorrow. Tried sending Keith some ringtones from my phone to his. Never did work. He does not have online access or much on his he cannot do what I can. I imagine I wasted a lot of my MB trying to send him data. Oh well.

Okay..this is probably boring? So much for sitting down tonight and watching some movies and relaxing early. I got a new book today from the library to read. Called "The Five Peoiple You Meet In Heaven". By Mitch Albom, the same author who wrote Tuesdays With Morrie.

I got another offer to have another poem published. "Ode To The Snow Pig". Will be published in the "Best Poets of 2003" book due out in Winter 2004. It will also be recorded on CD. Let's see...this I think makes about 5 poems now published...maybe 6 and 2 at least were also recorded on CD. THAT is great. I found a publishing company today and will check with them about book publishing. They are sending me some materials to look over. It is a POD (print on demand) company and will be the only way I would probably ever be able to afford to do a book. to the bathroom to do the bedtime routine. Tomorrow....tomorrow...there's're only a day away.
(yeah right).