falling...

Mist and shadows surround me
My limbs all but broken, so weary
So tired of knowing where they desire to go
Yet never quite arriving

I just want to let myself fall
And have you catch me

You would be so easy to fall into...
...like quicksand

I would be completely absorbed, consumed
Where my limbs would fail me yet again

The harder I would try to move them
To create a safe distance for my heart

The further I would sink, deeper into you

The suction between our souls so great
So powerful... that surely if I were to break free
The chasm that would be left, would separate the earth in two


Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: "Falling" by Michelle Flores

ENOUGH...

The realization of what I want, is becoming as clear as what I don't
For years I have sat by in silence, observing reality through other's eyes
Countless times I have allowed my heart to be tweaked and twisted
Prodded and poked, until it no longer resembled a heart
It's consistency being more like cud, nothing but bits and shreds
Suffering endless chewing and gnashing
Yet seemingly held together by invisible strings
I have wasted endless hours waiting what feels like an eternity
And for what I know not
All the while time keeps passing, another minute, another day, another hour
A year, two, three...
Good things happen to those who wait, or so the saying goes
Finding oneself and voice again, beneath the dusty pages of my soul
Was well worth the wait, because I have found freedom in my words
With which I can finally admit with no regrets ... "I need more"


Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Yahoo Images - artist Luis Royo

forgiveness...

Unleash the Power of Forgiveness
By Margot Zaher and Jafree Ozwald
www.EnlightenedBeings.com

"If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive." ~Mother Theresa

Spring is a great time of year to practice the beautiful and liberating art of forgiveness. If you are carrying a grudge against anybody, be it big or small you are in essence carry a heavy burden in your heart that is negatively impacting you on many levels. Yes, continuing to be angry or upset with somebody else because they have wronged you only hurts you in the long run. When you hold on to how someone has hurt you, you actually tie up part of your energy in the past. This holding on to the past combined with negative feelings about the experience lower your overall frequency at which you vibrate, hindering your ability on some level to manifest more "goodies" into your life.

Forgiveness is derived from the word to "give". Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts that you can give yourself. The act of forgiving another will liberate your energy, and set you free to experience more of the beauty of life. The act of forgiveness dramatically increases the energetic frequency at which you body-mind vibrates, allowing you to attract into your life more of those amazing situations and experiences that you have been desiring. Since it takes much energy to hold on to the past, the moment you let go of an "ugly" past event through the act of forgiveness, a ton of energy is freed up to focus on manifesting what you desire in this now moment. Unleash the power behind forgiveness today by taking these two powerful steps:

1. Release those Repressed Feelings
When you hold onto a grudge, you are often holding onto the negative emotions that are attached to that experience. Many of us do not have the ability or opportunity to fully feel and release negative feelings that arise when someone mistreats or hurts us. As a culture we have been taught to repress our feelings, put on a brave face, and go on with our life. The problem is that these feelings fester deep inside of us, and cause us to continue to carry a grudge about the past. The first step in forgiving is letting go of these negative feelings. There are many techniques that can help you release pent up emotions from the past. One simple way you can do this on your own is emotional release journaling. Just write about the past event without censoring. Write until you have emptied everything out. Do not read it once you have finished. Then burn what you have journaled and proclaim out-loud "I let this go". If your repressed emotions are very strong or feel overwhelming, it may be best to get the support of a trained professional to help you let them go. Margot is a powerful healer and can lead you through her special healing process where you will release these pent up emotions so that you can begin to forgive.

2. Consciously Choose Forgiveness
In every moment, you have the opportunity to choose forgiveness over resentment. Choosing forgiveneness means choosing freedom and liberation from the past. Once you decide that you are going to forgive, proclaim this forgiveness outloud to the Universe. The easiest way to do this is to visualize the person in front of you, and say outloud, "I forgive you completely for the past." Just feel what it is like to make this proclaimation. Notice the powerful shift in your energetic body that arises once you committ to forgiveness. You will be amazed out how this declaration will start to create a snowball of high vibrational feeling states in your mindbody, resulting in the manifestation of more positive and desired experiences into your life.

If you are having difficulty letting go, healing or forgiving somebody in your life, Margot can help lead you through a powerful proven healing process (over the phone) that truly works! You will let go of any blocked old emotions, free your heart, and liberate your manifesting energy. If you are interested, contact Margot directly at Margot@EnlightenedBeings.com to arrange a free 10 minute phone conversation to see how her healing technique can work for you!

"Forgiveness is the final form of love". ~Reinhold Niebuhr

recognition...

Your insight to the depths of my soul
Is like soothing strokes to my flesh
Very lightly at first
Yet building meticulously, methodically,
Carefully chosen and placed
A kiss that changes my pain into pleasure
The depths of which until now
I have never experienced before.


Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Yahoo Images

Stephen Hawking to experience zero gravity...

someone I admire so greatly.......is setting off soon on an incredible journey for himself......I just hope it doesn't kill him:

Stephen Hawking, the British cosmologist, Cambridge professor and best-selling author who has spent his career pondering the nature of gravity from a wheelchair, says he intends to get away from it all for a little while.

On April 26, Dr. Hawking, surrounded by a medical entourage, is to take a zero-gravity ride out of Cape Canaveral on a so-called vomit comet, a padded aircraft that flies a roller-coaster trajectory to produce periods of weightlessness. He is getting his lift gratis, from the Zero Gravity Corporation, which has been flying thrill seekers on a special Boeing 727-200 since 2004 at $3,500 a trip.

Peter H. Diamandis, chief executive of Zero G, said that “the idea of giving the world’s expert on gravity the opportunity to experience zero gravity” was irresistible.

In some ways, this is only a prelude. Dr. Hawking announced on his 65th birthday, in January, that he hoped to take a longer, higher flight in 2009 on a space plane being developed by Richard Branson's company Virgin Galactic, which seeks to take six passengers to an altitude of 70 miles.

Dr. Hawking says he wants to encourage public interest in spaceflight, which he believes is critical to the future of humanity.

“I also want to show,” he said in an e-mail interview, “that people need not be limited by physical handicaps as long as they are not disabled in spirit.”

total lunar eclipse Saturday night...first in 3 years! next not till August 28...

bring out the telescopes and binoculars!

trick my truck.......

a show on CMT......have you seen it? Noah and I love to watch it whenever we remember it is on....which is rare. We seem to always forget and just catch it by chance. The cast of Trick My Truck features big rig truck mechanics who "steal" the rigs of lucky truck drivers and customize them, turning the drivers' dreams into reality. They do amazing work...and I just LOVE the BIG BOYS working on the trucks! Complete with tattoos and earrings....long hair pulled back in ponytails.......mmmmmmm.......whatever.....most of them seem to be pretty hott! hahahaha.....PLUS I LOVE the trucks! They do amazing makeovers of the rigs!

I wish I could find some decent photos of them to share.....but anyway.....this along with Miami Ink are a couple of shows I do enjoy watching when I can catch them......which does not happen often...because I just don't watch much tv.

slow sticky chicken....

I decided to make one tomorrow. I just got done rubbing all my spices into the chicken. On the way home from grandma's house the other night I stopped at the local store there in her town and they had WHOLE CHICKENS on sale for 39 cents a pound. SO I got a couple over 4 lb birds for like 1.50 each! I want to go back and get a couple more for that price. The one I prepped tonight/this morning looks really good! I may have to roast him and take it all to grandma's house and that way I can stop and pick up some more chickens on the way home! I will see how the day goes.

I have decided to play IRS/SSA's game......do what I need to for now to get my return to go through....fix any errors later. They accepted it....so that is good. Still have some hassle down the road.....but it should not be too bad.

I need to get back to work. Just stopping by checking on a few friends and posts...some seem to be missing in action!

I AM SO PISSED!

I called SSA office last night. YES....someone in my local office changed Noah's DOB to a year prior a year ago. No one....not even the local SSA office .......has a clue as to WHY. The lady at the local office said I have to come back down in person and show Noah's birth certificate again to them to VERIFY all the information....because they are not allowed to make changes in the system without verification of his blah blah blah. I quickly reminded her that they ALREADY DID DO THAT. Someone already had changed information in the system and it was WRONG and now I AM paying the price cause my tax reimbursement and everything is hinging on that!

She then tells me to just ENTER THE WRONG DOB on my tax form! "OH wait" ...she said, "don't do that, that is wrong and you are putting your name on the tax forms to sign, etc." (I had thought about doing that.....to just change the DOB to agree with what IRS showed and then changing it---but I cannot do that. It is inaccurate information I am responsible for...besides...I already flagged IRS about it......so they are aware there is an issue).

I asked HOW LONG it would take to get this changed in the system.....fixed....corrected even if I came down there with the information they needed. I told her THEY ALREADY HAD the damn information because they had copies of all his shit in their system! OH NOW magically they only have electronic records...having disposed of the paper crap. SO I ask how a paper document is going to be any better than the scanned copy in their electronic medical records? IT IS THE SAME DAMN THING!!!! Like I AM the one trying to commit fraud....THEY are the ones who screwed up.

When I asked her how long it would take to get this straightened out......she started to explain a process that could take 4-6 weeks!!!!!!!!! WHAT? I told her the main SSA said it should be as simple as going to my local office and having someone there CHANGE the date of birth and notifying IRS.....or at least getting it changed in their records in their system so when IRS has to match information up....the information matched will be correct and not hold up my TAX REFUND!

DAMMIT I needed that freakin suck as money in the bank yesterday not 2-3 months from now. Like I have time for this extra SHIT!

SO...right now they are not busy. My caseworker of course is OUT of the office all week.....she is never there. I have to go in and wait....sign in and wait....which hopefully now won't be too bad because she said now they are not busy as it is the end of the month. NEXT couple of days as we go into March she said however....they will be packed.

They have an armed guard there...I just hope I can keep my sanity and mouth firm but not too carried away so I don't either get carted out by a guard which would freak Noah out or end up in jail.

DAMN FUCK DAMN I am pissed off right now#$@#$@#$!Q@#$!#@$

rants...

so...somewhere back in April 2006 SSA changed my son's DOB to a year earlier.

Yeah...so that has screwed my taxes......because IRS obviously and I do not show the year prior DOB as being the correct one. I called SSA.....the lady admitted someone changed it back in April 2006 but she did not know why. ALL crap...more freakin crap...it never ends! SO....now my e-filing status is screwed up......likely I won't be able to file now that way....not sure till I talk to someone in person tomorrow at SSA...which will be a miracle. No sense calling Noah's case worker.....she rarely returns my calls. I will likely have to drive to the office and wait and stir up shit once there.

This pisses me off. That someone changed something like that or made a typo......and now all my end of shit is pending the correction of someone else's mistakes.

So much for having my money in the bank as it normally would have been within 2 days. Approaching end of month.....everything remaining due....yeah.....

screwed......and sick and tired of crap......and more crap that continues to happen......I don't have time for the crap I have now....I certainly don't need more!

to taste...

You press the fruit to my parted lips

My tongue gingerly caresses the skin

Pulling it in, I want to taste it all

Yet you pull it back, just to tease

Seeking it out I beg its return

Wanting to taste its sweet juice

To feel its ripeness, its fullness

Ready to burst between my lips

As I playfully bite

And stroke it with my tongue

Savoring the moment

As the juices and seeds flow down my chin


Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Yahoo Images

if you can find me...

If you can find me, you can have me
If you can peel away the layers of my soul
Till I am lying raw before your eyes
You would own me

Surrendering is all I have ever really longed for
To let someone else take control, to claim me

Branding my skin with strokes of their love

Over and over again

My pain turned to pleasure
Pleasure to pain
Ache to want
Want to ache
Desire to need
Need to greed

At your feet you would find me
Begging for more


Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Yahoo Images