Saturday, March 17, 2007

a vagina on my table...

I sometimes when gazing off to let's say a wall or door or floor...I will see shapes that form into images or objects.

Today while having a late dinner/lunch or early supper.....I was gazing at the kitchen table by my plate and discovered this!

NOW...while my mind MIGHT be on sexual things more so than others....this is the first time I have ever seen this....and it was quite obvious to me.

Tell you see a vagina on my my table? there in the wood??



This time of year I really get spring feverish! I just want to hit the road and go! Somewhere....anywhere! I sometimes think Noah had the right idea about taking a 2006 road trip! In fact, I had so seriously contemplated it instead of buying a house or renting one...for a short time I entertained the idea of buying a big spanking tour bus. With the gas prices the way they are believe it or not...those are not that expensive and in fact....would have been cheaper than a house! We could have traveled all over taking our house with us. BUT I know I would have had to downsize tremendously or put stuff into storage. AND then there is the problem of being able to get online....a SECURE router online I could keep working.

YES....part of the beauty of my job is I can take it with me anywhere and do it anywhere. I just cannot do it wireless though I have to wonder if they would really know. I guess they would. I don't think I can do high speed internet traveling on a tour bus/motor home. AND I imagine one gets tired of traveling all the time.

I hear the Harleys roaring occasionally and it makes me want to get on one and ride! I used to go riding with some friends a long time ago and I have to admit I totally miss that. I have been checking the Harley website and I have seen some I would love to buy! I think for starters I may just find some others to ride with again. I WILL be riding again....this I know. In what capacity or how that might change over time remains to be seen. AND I am a stickler about wanting to stay safety is a huge issue with me!

Speaking of which I FOR FUN decided to try some online singles sites. If nothing else it will be great for writing material. They can leave you feeling really crappy or with a head so large you won't be able to fit through a doorway! I pretty much know what I want and I am sorta thinking I would not really find it there anyway. My goal was to perhaps meet and make some new friends in the same state I live in to actually eventually meet and do things with. We will see how that goes. I am very funny when it comes to making friends, etc.

Last night I had a sweet 21 year old (I want to call him BOY)...tell me I was the best looking woman my age he had ever seen! He called me sexy and HOTT! He was really sweet....but....still 21.

I had some wanting only specific things and they wasted no time in telling me. BUT I like their honesty. There are many out there just like me......really only wanting to reach out and make a new friend...some only wanting to keep it online.

SO has been a trip. I have seen lots of bikers out there with some pretty fine bikes in the process too! In Colorado once I saw this woman riding a Harley. She was one of the sexiest women I have ever seen....and riding that bike just made her look even sexier! Yeah......manifesting that is a great thing!

don't worry mom and's all cool.

Today is St. Paddy's day and the only thing I will likely do close to anything Irish is maybe making some sort of Irish Stew. Yeah......that is about it. Otherwise I am going to write, do some work, clean the house and finish some laundry. MAYBE go for a drive.....Lord knows I am aching to hit the road. THIS happens to me every year......around February.....lasts pretty much off an on the entire time weather is nice..and it hits me again in the fall.........over winter it seems to subside some. This is when I used to jump in my convertible and go for a nice drive! to get some things done around here. I am also really itching to get this room done in my office area. I CANNOT stand it any longer with the boxes still piled around. I am looking at my life honestly now too....rethinking all the scrapbooking materials and supplies. I mean I could open a small shop here in my house. BUT.....I have not yet made one scrapbook. I LOVE them......I would love to make them. I love to see what my sisters have done with photos scrapbooking. BUT......I am seriously doubting I will ever really do it. MAYBE I will if I get things completely put away in here....because part of my goal is to have actual areas set up to work on projects. BUT to be honest sometimes just slapping the photos into an album seems just as OKAY and at least it would be done and we could look at the pictures!

I have also been rethinking some of the other stuff I have accumulated over time. I am thinking I am going to likely be having a HUGE garage sale this summer. Yeah.....that would be great. I can advertise.....make it big...sell hot dogs! GO ALL out.....downsize in the process....make needing extra storage or space less of an issue. Would give things to people who would actually be using them and not just have them sitting around in a box. Makes perfect sense to me. SO......I am going to start sorting and putting things in MORE boxes to get ready for a sale! THAT will take some work right there.

coffee calls

Friday, March 16, 2007

gift giver...

You are the bread I dip in my yolk every morning
The steam rising from my cup of coffee
The fork that carries the food to my mouth
The knife that spreads my butter
The sunglasses for my eyes in blinding light
The aspirin for my headache
The cool drink when I am thirsty
The brush that runs through my hair
The perfume that kisses my skin
The polish that paints my toes
The pillow I rest my head upon
All things that I am bound by
All things that set me free
The bed when I need more

Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Pino "Morning Dreams"

the veil...

How does something so light
Become too heavy to endure
The fabric leaving crease marks in my spirit
I remain trapped in this cocoon
Yet cradled and nurtured
Held between powerful hands
Yet protective hands
Hungering for air I breathe only from your breath
You see what I cannot
I ache for your touch
To remove this veil that has kept my heart hidden
So I may give freely of it yet again

Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Yahoo Images

Thursday, March 15, 2007

love this videoclip - - and Harleys


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It started to really pour during the night. I love storms.....the wind raging....the elements.......the smell of the rain.....the cooler breeze......the sound of the rain as it hits the windows, the tin pipes on my furnace and fan in the bathroom.

A lot continues to evolve in my life....perhaps this will be a year for huge changes....and that as Martha would say......"is a good thing."

We had 2 days of gloriously unseasonably warm temperatures. I am thankful for those days. I am even more thankful for this glorious night and morning of rain. It is the ultimate for snuggling weather. I am thankful for my damn good cup of coffee. I am thankful for being passionate....even though many might consider me semi-crazy. I embrace it. ALL I have been through has made me what I am today. I am reclaiming MELINDA...something that is long overdue.

The neighbor's flag on the flagpole is flying straight out in the wind! I hear my windchimes tinkling out front. Occasionally the wind sneaks through my window and makes a delicious howling sound...almost what you would expect a ghost dog to sound like. No moon tonight though I know it is there.

Life goes on....whether we choose to be in it or always finds a way.

I choose to be in it...

where I lie...

I lie in the recesses of your mind
In that dark corner you rarely acknowledge exists
You know the place I speak of well
For it is there that I know you see me
Who I truly am
Raw, exposed, naked, needy, completely vulnerable to you
There I lie perpetually at your feet, waiting for your glance, your nod
Your approval, your permission
To be released
To serve
Be served
Played with at whim
Until the hunger in you is sated
When the darkness in your mind
Turns a bright crimson, as it bleeds out, into mine.

Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Yahoo Images

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

be gone... gone I cry
Why do you persist in tormenting me?
Why can you not just fly back to the cloudy skies from whence you appeared?

Is your handiwork not complete until you pick the last bits of gristle from my bones?

Until you swallow the last drop of blood abandoned inside my heart?

Or will you not feel sated, pending removal of my eyes, which finally allowed me to behold

All that you skillfully tried to camouflage from their sight?

Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Yahoo Images

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

the moon this morning......2 of my best can even see the craters!

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some shots of the moon I have taken...


I am starting to think you don't exist

Am I so particular there could possibly be

No matches available for me?

What jabbing joke is this from the cosmos

Are you up there looking down and laughing yet?

Are you collecting my hardened tears as jewels to make a necklace?

Perhaps to use as a charm or engrave your talisman?

Is the image I hold closest to my beating heart

Not possible to reproduce into a live human soul?

Has he not been born yet?

Or perhaps he has already died.

Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Yahoo Images


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This constant back and forth of emotions is exhausting.
Just when I think and believe, everything will be fine in the long run
Even when I subconsciously continue to believe this, to know it
Despite everything around me taunting me otherwise
At that same time such incredible hopelessness and futility washes over me
In waves with a stronger current than the mighty Pacific Ocean.
Pulling me in, relentless, not satisfied with just tickling my toes
Never wanting to rest its constant badgering of my soul
Like a torturous child repeating "I told you so", "I told you so"
Over and over again the waves continue to strike
Reshaping me, resurfacing my hope
Each time more powerful, more explosive, more damaging
And so...again.....I shall go to bed alone.

Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Yahoo Images

Monday, March 12, 2007

my foot before.......and now

our name tags from the party Saturday...a look into my mom's perspective on us or humor? haha

I never really paid too much attention to everyone's name tags for their places to sit at the party Saturday till today when I was going to move our two into a group of things needing filed. YES I was keeping these to put into a scrapbook IF I ever get around to it. I then took a good look at the DOGS my mom had picked out for me and Noah. Below are the results...haha....As you can see.....Noah is the little teddy bear puppy dog type and check me out! I am the slightly hyperactive spazzing pup that seems a tad crazy? BUT......I have to admit.....this is soooooo appropriate! I wonder what everyone else's looked like?

another moon shot I took this morning....untouched photo

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something's missing...

Countless minutes, hours, days I've spent
Thinking about "it"
Looking for "it"
Wanting "it"
Sometimes thinking I've got "it"

Only to come home again
Look around me
And not recognize where I'm at
And realizing most of all
"It" ... is still missing

Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Yahoo Images

Sunday, March 11, 2007

cherry red rain...

well I did not really want to wake up after such a restless night...but with the time change and all...the day would have been gone before I knew it.

So I made a late sweet! NICE hot, black steaming coffee.....YUM! Shower....hott shave......lotions...MORE yums!

exercised a tiny bit (haha...I typed tony)

I painted my toenails Cherry Rain red.......just because.......they are so ready for summer....

I splashed on some Bvlgari Omnia....damn I smell good!

went through a pile of seriously needing taken care of...trashed a ton of stuff...

took a drive...just to get out cause my body needs to move or I will go crazy!

grilled out.....cause I could...

doing dishes...cause I have to...

fed the birds....just to get back outside again...

soon more coffee and writing......then some work...

all in all has not been that bad a day.......but I am SO ANTSY for spring/summer!

a picture of the moon I took super early this morning when I should have been sleeping but couldn't for some reason...

I finally get a chance to get to bed at a decent hour and sleep if I wanted. Maybe because I had laid down and taken a nap earlier in the evening? I don't know....but...for whatever reason I could NOT fall asleep in bed. SO I got back up around I don't was between 3:00 and 4:00 cause I remember seeing the time change over to the new time automatically on my computer.

I looked outside and saw this brilliant half moon...decided to try the camera again. I have the anti-shake feature on my camera..forget what they officially call that......but crap. My hands were still shaking the camera too much for decent pictures. This one was about the best....but does little justice to the brilliance and size I saw.

I wonder...

dedicated to my son Noah...a boy whose mind never sleeps

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I wonder what you are thinking about
When you stare off to faraway places
What things do you see
what words do you hear
Is it a sweet memory, or deep anxiety
Do you want to be here, or really stay there?
Does it take a special sound
To bring you back to me?
A certain tone or lingering touch
A fragrance that teases at your nose
Is this perhaps a time when your mind is quiet
And you sit confused not understanding what to do?

My mind is busy too, I guess a lot like you

Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

the birthday girls...

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