trust is shit...

One advantage of being a woman...
I am a lot smarter than most will ever realize

Does one honestly think for one minute
That what they display on the outside
To try to fool me into believing whatever absurdity
they currently choose
(Like how I can trust them completely)
Yet behind my back continue dabbling in other honey pots
Is something that goes unnoticed from my all-seeing eyes?

If I play "dumb" does it make one feel
as if they are getting away with it?
Superior in some psychotic way...the ultimate "player?"
A winner?

I wonder why one feels it necessary to cast a fishing line for many
Are they saving for a rainy day? For a "just in case" scenario?
Is my constant stroking of their ego not enough?
Are they an ego stroking junkie....constantly seeking the next fix?

Does one truly believe my persona going near-totally ignored
By the one expressing undying love
Would ultimately make me feel as if they were the least bit truly interested
In me?

I laugh out loud at the sheer madness of it all
That someone who professes such love
Could be so blind as to not see
All that stands before them
Waiting only to be genuinely noticed

I grow tired of the antics and back flips I've mastered
Trying to draw attention for even a moment
In my direction
Yet even when I succeed.....I have to ask myself
"Is it genuine?"

Why is it one can trust me
Yet feel perhaps I cannot trust them?
Why do little white lies seem only "stretching the truth" in their minds
Because they have convinced themselves to believe it is still "truth?"

We all know they are the first to boast they are not a liar
They have nothing to hide
They are not doing anything even remotely inappropriate

That seems to be a bit hypocritical to me
And yet the blindfolds come out
The game continues
Even if we grow weary of playing
We choose to see only what we choose to see
Ignoring all other bites of reality
Hovering in our peripheral vision.

Most do a pretty good job
At convincing another they are completely trustworthy
Yet in reality they fall short
Along the way they change the rules
To benefit only them

What was once shared is taken away and becomes hidden
Tucked down inside a pocket that fits only their hands
Done perhaps they espouse "to protect" another.....
Because everyone knows what the other does not know won't hurt them right?

Or maybe it is done to "avoid" stirring up conflicts
Not realizing they are simmering a potful

All these things ultimately become "secretive" all over again
One does not feel they can share "all" with another

In the end this makes their trust mean shit.

Copyright ©2007 man&SippingTheVastSpring

Loving you...

How much do I love you?
Words barely describe it

You have become the air that I breathe
You fill me with sweet sighs of contentment

My heart leaps inside my chest and skips beats
Whenever I hear your voice or see your face

I lose all control of my body
Whenever I think of you touching me

I am driven toward you
There is no escaping it
I don't wish to escape it

You are the peak of my climax
A perpetual high
A tidal wave of euphoric bliss
That I wish to surf forever

Copyright ©2007 man&SippingTheVastSpring

The end of the day...

The end of the day....

Right before bedtime, is the hardest for me.

It's when I miss you the most

And I wish you were here or I there

I pretend I am your pillow or mattress

And imagine what it would be like to feel your full body weight

Lying on top of me

Your movement creating contours in my being



I think about you during the day

Most hours spent wishing I were your pencils

Feeling the caress of your fingers wrapped tightly around me

Holding me securely yet carefully

Creating gentle strokes across your paper in brilliant colors



I sometimes wish I were your cat

Able to lie across your chest purring my delight

Flicking my tail across your skin

As your hands rhythmically pet and coax



Or the lemons you eat

The rush they must feel

As you grasp their skin tight between your lips

And you suck their juices from their pulp



Or that glorious bar of soap

As you lather it across your skin

Each sudsy bubble cascading in ripples

Down your muscles and hard body



Because throughout each of my days

My bar of soap becomes your hands

The food touching my lips...your tongue

My chair....your lap

My music....your voice

My pillow...your chest



My fingers...yours


Copyright ©2007 man&SippingTheVastSpring

I respond...

As I share a meal with my family

I sit in an almost drunken state

My body is present but my mind wanders with thoughts of you

I lift the fork to my lips

And wonder if anyone around me notices

The smile turning up the corners of my mouth

To them it must look like my fare is exceptional

I am thankful they cannot read my mind

Because as the fork enters my mouth and presses against my tongue

I think of your tongue pressing against mine

When my taste buds water at that first bite

I grow wet between my thighs

And wonder if anyone will notice

Or be able to see

How even when you are absent

My body responds to you

Copyright ©2007 man&SippingTheVastSpring

the SPIDER finally showed himself!

Remember a couple weeks back when I talked about a spider running in the front door when I opened it and headed toward my love/seat sofa? AND I could not find it........was afraid he was IN the furniture? Well.....ALL this time went by.....I had not seen it.....I moved furniture.....swept everything......looked. NOTHING.

THEN this morning Noah came running to me and said he got his face in a spider web when he sat on the loveseat! I SCREECHED WHAT???????? with a look of horror on my face! I figured it was a small web or dust or hair.......but decided I better go look.

OH - - MY- - LORDY!!!!! I had sat there last night and NOTHING.....today.......was a HUGE tunnel spider type web on the arm/back of the loveseat! I FREAKED......the spider was there peeking at me.........HOLY SHIT!!!

SO I am trying to figure out HOW to kill him or get him captured to take him outside....and decided to grab my little sweeper and attach the hose and suck him up in the clear plastic bagless filter......the timing had to be perfect......the hose had to be poised and ready because I was afraid the sound of the sweeper might scare him DOWN inside the furniture well.....I turned the sweeper on and SUCKED HIS tiny ass and WEB and up INSIDE the bagless plastic filter cup..........I swirled him around good......figured I could flush him down the toilet......

BUT THE LITTLE BUGGER was ALIVE! He lived through all that.........was I am sure pissed as he was dizzy........so I turned the sweeper on again.....(not sure what possessed me to do that).....and I watched his tiny body fly around in circles some more....... and HE LIVED through that again. I decided if he survived all that he was a fighter and deserved a chance to live so I took him far outside and dumped him out! I HOPE he does NOT decide to come back!

MEANWHILE......I am totally freaked about sitting on my furniture.....or heaven forbid LYING down on it........oh my....I have seen stories where spiders crawl inside people's ears or noses and mouths! SHIT!!! BUT.....that was the only one........my house is thank goodness pretty bug free. AND I am thankful I was able to catch this spider.......I KNOW it was the same one I had in here from the front door!