bruce cockburn- - it's different when it comes to you

She said she wanted me
I had to let her know
It was never meant to be
And she had to let it go
She was pissed and hurting but
What was I supposed to do?
I did not love her
But it's different when it comes to you

Lamentations everywhere
All the covers turned to blue
Desperation laid her bare
She told me everything I could do
She told herself a story
that flat out wasn't true
She made me feel sorry
But it's different when it comes to you

I don't want to go home tonight
I wanna turn loose my lust
I want you to squeeze me tight
Do the things that we discussed
I'll be my broken self
The zero hidden from your view
I don't usually do that
But it's different when it comes to you

I didn't know I could do that
But it's different when it comes to you

bukowski

The Genius Of The Crowd

there is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average
human being to supply any given army on any given day

and the best at murder are those who preach against it
and the best at hate are those who preach love
and the best at war finally are those who preach peace

those who preach god, need god
those who preach peace do not have peace
those who preach peace do not have love

beware the preachers
beware the knowers
beware those who are always reading books
beware those who either detest poverty
or are proud of it
beware those quick to praise
for they need praise in return
beware those who are quick to censor
they are afraid of what they do not know
beware those who seek constant crowds for
they are nothing alone
beware the average man the average woman
beware their love, their love is average
seeks average

but there is genius in their hatred
there is enough genius in their hatred to kill you
to kill anybody
not wanting solitude
not understanding solitude
they will attempt to destroy anything
that differs from their own
not being able to create art
they will not understand art
they will consider their failure as creators
only as a failure of the world
not being able to love fully
they will believe your love incomplete
and then they will hate you
and their hatred will be perfect

like a shining diamond
like a knife
like a mountain
like a tiger
like hemlock

their finest art

the skinny..........and rain

well...since I cannot post it here without it messing up my borders and margins and such......here is a link to SNOPES which talks about a former posting of mine at EFX2.......about super skinny models......I had been researching this for some time to find out if the original pics were real or digitally altered. It took awhile for SNOPES to comment on it but they finally did. The skinny models' photos were digitally altered so they were not quite as skinny as originally portrayed on some of those pictures I posted...but they were still pretty skinny. Go here to check it out:

http://www.snopes.com/photos/people/models.asp

Otherwise...my links I see do not work. You will have to copy and paste.

It is January 5 and 60 degrees outside.....rainy.....all I want to do is sleep today. I just made some coffee thinking it would help wake me up along with a loaf of chocolate chip bread. I had the oven on to make some lunch for Noah so I figured I would take advantage of an already hot oven and pop in a loaf of bread. The house is now warm enough to OPEN WINDOWS! Which I have done! I even turned on the house fan to circulate the air. I may be tempted to go out and uncover the central air at this rate!

I know we had holidays in here along the way but I swear it hardly seems like they have already come and passed. Maybe because we had no snow......I seem to associate my Christmases with snow. COLD temps....something.

I just listened to all the birds singing and chirping so LOUDLY outside! I bet they are extremely happy the temperatures are so mild!

I just checked...my front door wreath and hook has fallen off a third time. OKAY...that is it. UNTIL I can find a hook that will stay UP during rainy wet weather....I guess my front door will not have anything on it! AND my house seems to have shifted a bit in the dampness so I doubt an over-the-door wreath hook will work.

However...if that is the least of my worries today I am blessed.

it is now 57 degrees.....rain......like spring

Thought for the Day: "You can have anything you want if you will give up the belief that you can't have it." Obvious

a bit warm

I can't believe it is 54 degrees at 3:30 a.m. on January 5

moments

“Love the moment and the energy of the moment will spread beyond all boundaries.”

Wendys has a new Buckeye Frosty and burger for sale

Wendys is debuting the sandwich, and naming it after the Ohio State University mascot (Brutus). It will have a quarter pound of beef, sweet relish, mustard relish, tomatoes, bacon, lettuce, onion, and American cheese. On a roll. It was picked in a taste test by a dozen OSU staff members, band members, and cheerleaders. It's coming out on August 28, and will be offered throughout the whole football season. You can also pick up a Frosty with mini Buckeye peanut butter and chocolate pieces. Delicious! Pretty smart marketing strategy - just like Anheuser-Busch with their specifically Ohio beer, this burger will attract all sorts of OSU fans to flock to their local Wendy's.

And in October - there will be a Cincinnati Bengals-themed burger. It will have chili, shredded cheese, and onions, and is named for the fan cheer of "Who dey, who dey, who dey think gonna beat dem Bengals?"

grandma's quilt

Noah and I went to see grandma C. last night. We took her some Kentucky Fried Chicken for supper. We had a nice visit as we always do when we go to see her. Grandma and I visited for a bit while still sitting at the kitchen table after our meal. I have found out some amazing things about grandma since I came back to Ohio last February. While in Colorado prior to that we talked once or twice per week on the telephone, but coming back and actually spending quiet times with her has been a real eye opening experience. I have learned a lot about her I did not know.

Grandma still sews a lot....used to make a lot of quilts and she crocheted afghans. She had a bunch of quilts but had given them all away or sold them off. All but this last one which is HUGE! This was the LAST quilt she ever made......she made it back in 1999......and originally for her husband...grandpa C......back in March of 1999. She told me that he had told her when she was done with it that "this one is for me!" So she "marked it" as such on the back with a label. Grandpa C. has since passed on...and she decided last night she wanted me to have that quilt. Since grandpa died a few years back she has slowly started to return things to people in the family who gave her things....so they would have them in case something happened to her. She will sometimes ask you "is there anything you see that you would like to have to remember me and grandpa?" I took home an old hurricane oil lamp one Easter after a vacation back to Ohio. It was one of the first ones they had when they set up "housekeeping" as she called it (or what we would commonly know as "starting out" after getting married). My grandma was 13 years old when she married my grandpa who was 17. Grandma was already pregnant with my mom. Looking back at their pictures they certainly looked older than 13 and 17....perhaps because they were forced to do so much and lived a harder life? Their house was filled over time with lots of things....grandpa was quite the collector. It was filled with plates and clocks the most along with a ton of other antiques. Most of all it was always filled with a great sense of love and OPEN armed welcomeness to anyone.

My grandma C. is like a second mother to me......and sometimes more like my own mother to me (no offense Mom). I love her immensely and when she told me she wanted me to take that quilt I was thrilled she would even consider giving it to me.

This caused me to think about what we value in life and why. It reminded me that some of the things we might collect now will really mean nothing much as we get older...they are just things. They usually do not have the "history" behind them like my grandma and grandpa C's treasured items do. My Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer collectibles will likely never cause quite the tearful tug that looking at my grandma's quilt will in my heart or others for that matter as we get older.

Thinking back in time over the years as to what I have been given in my life as presents or have acquired over time....the things that seem to mean the most are the things made with someone's own two hands and lots of love. For example, the time grandma invested when stitching each of those stitches on this quilt.....will cause me to stop and think about what my grandma might have been doing on the days she quilted.....what she might have been thinking......what her hopes and dreams may have been....it has become a family heirloom. It will immediately cause me to think about her......remember her.......remember how wonderful her house always smells.

I have a few things like that, that I treasure and have stored away in a box. I guess most of us do. Scraps of this and that....my first doll...old trading cards....things that meant something to me when I was little and as I got older. Newspaper clippings of world events down to family births, deaths, and funeral announcements. Old Life magazines that interested me....old childhood toys. But I am still not sure they will cause the reaction in anyone that the antiques do in me when I see them from my grandmother's house.

Grandma C. has told me many times that she has journals......books she has written her thoughts and rants in over the years. I know where they are hidden......I would love to read them now. Last night she had the nerve to say she should probably get rid of them because sometimes she wrote not too nice things about someone in the family. I asked her if we all had our own BOOK with our names on the front that she would turn to when she was upset with us and instead of verbally telling us in person what she thought she would just go write it out and get it out of her system! She just laughed...so who knows what GEMS are awaiting us all one day. I told her to NEVER toss them....they are HER...what makes up HER....her thoughts.....her dreams and hopes......her pain and secrets......we would all love to read them one day and why? Because it will give us glimpses into her mind....her INNER mind that she seldom actually lets out in front of other people because for heaven's sake she may ypset someone by what she says. She may think something about someone or a particular situation but she would never dare speak it out loud...so those books are all full of things like that. It makes one more human....to know that even our grandmas......were all just women like us at one point in their life...with hopes and dreams and desires and loves.

I get my writing or need to write in a journal then honest....as grandma C. has done it for years and Dad has done it for years....I cannot go a day without doing it. I MUST write......but I cannot handwrite much these days that is actually legible as my handwriting cannot possibly keep up with my mind and all its thoughts.....so I have turned to typing things on these blog journals or diaries I keep. I CAN type as fast as my mind thinks......

grandma had a great idea. When I told her how I wanted to make some real tangible journals again......but could not possibly handwrite them......she suggested I continue doing my blogging...but print off that page for a particular entry and put those printed pages into a book. What a fabulous idea. I want to take it a step further and even embellish those pages with items relating to particular posts...momentos....

I bet grandma's journals would make an excellent book. Despite the fact that she probably thinks her life is boring or of no interest to many......she would be mistaken. "Grandma's Secrets" would be a most amazing read!

the moon last night--I call it a "tiger moon" because of the colors and black striped clouds over it

I have decided to embrace all that I am, all that I have, and all that I will become

Moon Cycles

Now I realise that this one isn't for everyone, but if you are open
to the idea that the cycles of the moon affect us then you might
like to consider paying attention to this 2007 'Moon calendar'.

The phases of the moon govern our emotions in the same way that
they govern many of the physiological processes of life on Earth,
particularly sealife.

Since ancient times the new Moon as a time for starting new things.
A time when energy will be increasing. Plant the seeds of future goals.
Begin new projects.Make new wishes. Things that are begun around the new
moon will have the best chance of growing. This is why farmers, throughout
history, have often paid close attention to these cycles. But its not just
useful for growing crops, anything that you want to have a swell of energy
behind, such as a new goal or project, will benefit by beginning at, or
just after, the new moon.

Now, there are two tips I can give you on how to use this calendar.
Firstly, try to start new projects at or just after the new moon,
and avoid starting them in the days before the new moon. Secondly,
the period inbetween your birthday and the next new moon in your
sign (whichever comes first) is the very best time of the year for
setting goals and starting new projects. So, for example, if your
birthday was April 10th (making you an aries), then the period
between April 10th and April 17th is the best time for you to set
your goals, as April 17th is the new moon in Aries.

Jan 18 - New moon (in Capricorn)
Feb 2 - Full moon
Feb 17 - New moon (in Aquarius)
March 3 - Full moon
March 18 - New moon (in Pisces)
April 2 - Full moon
April 17 - New moon (in Aries)
May 2 - Full moon
May 16 - New moon (in Taurus)
June 1 & 30 - Full moon
June 15 - New moon (in Gemini)
July 14 - New moon (in Cancer)
July 30 - Full moon
August 12 - New moon (in Leo)
August 28 - Full moon
Sept 11- New moon (in Virgo)
Sept 26 - Full moon
Oct 11 - New moon (in Libra)
Oct 26 - full moon
Nov 9 - New moon (in Scorpio)
Nov 24 - Full moon
Dec 9 - New moon (in Sagittarius)
Dec 24 - Full moon

Healing Rhythms Training Tip

The key to mastering the mind is learning to, as the Buddhists say, "surf on the waves of your thought,"--a happy alternative to letting yourself get tossed and pummeled by them on the shore. You can do this by observing your thoughts as they come and go, watching rather than reacting. Your thoughts, like waves, will arise naturally -- but now you have the tools to ride them smoothly.

For the next few days, notice when your thoughts start racing and stress levels begin to escalate -- and take that opportunity to stop and observe this process. What are those thoughts about? Where are they coming from? What's causing them? The more you can detach from spiraling thoughts, the less likely you are to become victimized by them.

Watch and breathe...

Family Watch Dog

http://www.familywatchdog.us/

When you visit this site you can enter your address and a map will pop up with your house as a small icon of a house. There will be red, blue and green dots surrounding your entire neighborhood. When you click on these dots a picture of a criminal will appear with his or her home address and the description of the crime he or she has committed.

The best thing is that you can show your children these pictures and see how close these people live to your home or school.

This site was developed by John Walsh from Americas Most Wanted. This is another tool we can use to help us keep our kids safe.

Anand is the state of bliss that comes when every word that you speak and action you take supports the light and journey of your soul - - Snatam Kaur

Seeing Me Through Your Eyes

I am a vision of time past, of long ago yesterdays, todays and tomorrows
Time is captured, twisted into these limbs, bent but not broken
Each moment in time, forever sculpted in eternity, searing me to my roots
I wreak of its essence......it has become the very breath I breathe
Every scar casted as deep furrows, row after row, healing but ever present
Time does not heal all wounds, but wounds have made me strong

You are unique. You see me as I am and yet you love me.
I stand before you with all my flaws and endless, ugly, nakedness
Yet your eyes only see me in the summer of my years
You pour forth more love for me, showering my dry branches
My thirst eagerly seeking more
Until others can see what you have seen all along.




copyright 2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

solitude surrounded

"Don’t try to force anything. Let life be a deep let-go. God opens millions of flowers everyday without forcing their buds.” ~Osho

some more snow pics from Colorado

my area got between 40-50 inches of snow accumulation......here are some more pics from around that area with a little less snow

I seem to have lost all prior comments when I made the template change

Sorry......hope there was nothing here too important. I made some template changes today on this blog and my Dear Noah blog....the Dear Noah blog carried the comments forward to the new template......this blog for some reason did not. I am not sure I can get any of them back......so.....if you notice a prior comment missing that is what happened to it.

starting anew in 2007 with a new look

the New Year has begun and I felt it was time to make some changes around here. The fight in me is gone so I got rid of the warrior on the top of my blog. I have decided to try to not let things affect me much anymore......perhaps for my own sanity......to protect myself......I think mainly for survival. No big deal......I was already doing it pretty well...

I changed my look here and really like it so far. It is much more calming and soothing and reflective. I usually design a look based on a season....holiday......or a mood or feelings I am experiencing in my life. I like this new look and the colors......I have other ideas but it will take me some time to figure everything out here.

Not much happening here today. Nice and quiet......it looks like fall outside......but is cold enough here now if it rains again it will actually be snow this time round.

A good movie day......I just talked to grandma C......maybe a good nap is in order too. I had some strange dreams this morning.