Monday, January 15, 2007

this CLEARLY resonates with me right now

January 15, 2007

Uncover Your True Face
Underneath the Mask

Many of us know the feeling of being stuck in a particular role within our families, as if we are wearing masks whenever we see the people we love. Maybe we are the good daughters, expected to always please others, or perhaps we are the family clowns, expected to be jovial and make everyone laugh. This same scenario can play out within a work situation or a group of friends. We may be so good at our role that we hardly even notice that we are wearing a mask, and yet, deep down, we know that we are not free to simply be who we really are. This can leave us feeling unseen and uneasy.

There is nothing inherently wrong with wearing a mask or playing a role. It is a natural part of any social dynamic and it can even be creative and fun. It only becomes a problem when you feel that you have no other choice than to wear that mask, and this is especially challenging if you realize you are never without one. Perhaps you have forgotten who you really are—a vast and unrestricted being of light—and have identified yourself completely with a role. You may be the dutiful, caring son who keeps his parents’ dysfunctional marriage intact. You may be the angelic wife who enables your husband to continue on a destructive path. You may be the cheerful daughter to a deeply depressed mother. Whatever the case, knowing the motivation behind your performance—the function of your mask—can help to uncover your true face.

Anytime we find ourselves stuck behind a mask, it is an indication that we are entangled in a dysfunctional dynamic in which our true self cannot be seen. We have been placed in this situation for the purpose of our own healing and, in some cases, the healing of others. From this perspective, life can be seen as a series of situations that call us to remove our masks—gently, and with great compassion for all concerned—to reveal the beauty underneath.


Melinda, mom of Noah said...

well I was not hinting around about that.....but instead the fact that most never allow their real selves to be shown to anyone in the real world. EVEN to family members...etc.

I think that is what I be able to just be me....around anyone....even family.....whether they like it or not. I love to see this quality in someone else. It draws me. Maybe because I wish I could more easily do it. I am pretty much what you see.......but even I do not reveal all......I am always trying to "not step on anyone's toes" or "keep peace". I can be at a family event and sometimes just want to shout to an extended family member "do you know you are a total inconsiderate, selfish ass?" BUT I remain silent. ...why is what I want to know. WHY DON'T I just say what is on my mind? OR at least here??

I know I try to love all regardless....but I think sometimes you can love the most when you are HONEST with someone else....even if it is painful. is not like they asked for my opinion. I would then be guilty of doing what my parents do best....voicing my opinion whether someone asked for it or not....whether it hurt someone else's feelings or not.

I guess I don't want to be a hypocrite but in the end I still am if I am thinking one thing and saying out loud another. :(

bryan obliveon aka alchemistofsorrows said...

I could relate to this my 31 years,only four people have ever really seeen behind the masks I wear to the mirror underneath..though at times,especially through what I write,my hidden bryan does come out..and that makes me feel almost human..

kirby ramsey said...

Melinda we spend our lives trying to be accepted by others that we loose track of who we are, soon we become strangers to our selfs.