Saturday, January 19, 2008

Two recent finds.......

I stopped by our local Goodwill the other day and found this adorable clock. It reminded me of a giant pocket watch but it sits on your desk. I used to collect Big Ben and Baby Ben clocks but I have also always loved pocket watches. SO for 1.49 I had to buy it.

The second find was at our local Big Lots store. The marble bunny. It was apparently a prior HALLMARK bunny....that sold for 18.00......but Big Lots somehow had them and were selling them for 6.00 each. Did I NEED a marble bunny? Did I HAVE to have it? No.......but there again was something about that called to me to pick it up and stick it in my cart........and so.........I did......isn't he adorable? (I just realized the glass jar holding crackers in the photograph is also a Goodwill find.....also for 1.49 that I purchased on a prior drive by)

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These 2 items would fall into the category of not needing them in life to get by.......but instead do allow me a wonderful feeling every time I see them. Some things we own in life do that. They drudge up old memories or just make you feel good. SO these 2 little guys are now part of my FEEL GOOD collection. AND YES......those are M&M cookies in the background I was making for Noah that I realize I may never be able to make again because they are ever so hard to resist.

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I am still fighting off some sort of funky sinus issue....

and we are heading into a long weekend with Noah out of school for 2 days next week. I did finally get my Christmas tree down but I have yet to put all the ornaments away. They have been lying on my coffee table and kitchen table in huge piles waiting for me to sort and re-wrap or re-box and put away. I HAVE to do that this weekend when I am off on Sunday or Monday. Actually I have to work part of the day Sunday because I had to miss some time this week for some appointments but only a few hours.

Otherwise I have gone from feeling incredibly cold all the time to feeling like it is too hot in here and I only have the heat set at 68 degrees. I think I could crank it down to at least 66 and be much more comfortable. I am taking some new supplements so I think part of my feeling hot is related to that and the other my sinuses....

what else..........nothing really. I have a lot to do.....and tons of thoughts swirling in my brain...but I do not have time to decipher it all now.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Today is know what that means?

Is a song they used to sing on the Mickey Mouse does that say about me if I know that?

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I signed up to do a CRAFT challenge. A DECK OF ME cards.....of course I am already starting behind......and have 3 weeks now to catch up on. Basically what you do is get a deck of cards.....which has 52 in them.

ONCE a week you will craft a journal/scrapbooking new fronts or backs or both to each card.....based on prompts/topics you will receive once a week. I thought this sounded like a great idea and in fact.....I think this would be a great idea for many other projects...and a great way to break into mixed media journaling..something I have had my eye on for a long time now but have failed to even try. You can use ANY kind of deck of cards and I have seen some great ones being started by others out my sister who found these cool heart-shaped cards at Target for 1.00! Crap I hope I can find something interesting like that. They also have GIANT sized cards. So use your imagination.

So.....if you are interested you can go here to find out more:


Monday, January 14, 2008

it's Monday and my head feels all muddy....

It feels slow.
Like I cannot process anything.
Like it doesn't want to process anything.
Like it along with my body could sleep all day.
I feel like I want to hibernate.
Like my mind is filled with sludge.
I don't like to feel this way.
I think I could stare off into space and think of absolutely......nothing.
Because all my thoughts and "to-do" lists in my mind have pooled together...
and are now an expanse of nothingness.
Like ink spilled upon paper...they are soaking in my brain...
but too deeply now...they have become saturated and are now pickled.
I am a zombie.
You can see it in my eyes.
The lack of facial expression.
The drugged appearance and sluggishness.
My body feels like a piece of granite.
Impossible to move.
Everything seems like too much effort.
Each of my thoughts has become another shovelful of dirt...
that has buried me.
I feel like I could suffocate.
Not wanting to panic...
I shove my fingers into the mud.
I hold fast but cannot dog paddle.
I am in quicksand and if I move I only sink deeper.
So I rest...
I savor the stillness and unplug my brain.
I shut down and turn off.
I go into screensaver mode...
and allow my thoughts and dreams and wishes and desires and images and to-do lists
to slowly appear, disappear, and reappear across my mind's eye.
Playing in the background.
Being acknowledged only by my subconscious mind.
As I wait for someone to come bump my keyboard.
And wake me up.

Copyright ©2008 man

Sunday, January 13, 2008


associated with betrayal
and abuse of trust
is one of the worst kinds

why do we desire the truth
seek the truth
want the truth
to set us free

when it is that same truth
which can harden our hearts
and cause doubt and fear

upon its revelation
one might feel as if
their stomach was being ripped from within

it doubles you over with dry heaves
soon followed by an intense heartache
and massive overflow of tears

our fight or flight takes over
and we swiftly paddle for life
our sinking ships into a river of denial

for we long ago learned
we had the ability
to create our own reality
and choose to believe
anything we wished

when truth is too painful
or becomes too unbearable a burden
we pretend it is no longer the truth
and we proceed to sugar coat it with our favorite candied toppings
to make it more palatable
much easier for us to swallow

but it never makes it easier for one to live with oneself
because that same truth
is always present
never falters
always resurfaces
again and again

till we no longer have a choice
but to see it
for what it truly is
like it...or not

Copyright ©2008 man

flying toward you...

I keep my eyes focused
even at this distance I can see
all you are meant to be
and all we shall become
like a moth to a flame
my wings push onward
aching to brush against yours
the brilliance reflected from your heart
causes my eyes to tear
your warmth a familiar spot
I long to lie my weary head
and rest my thirsty soul

Copyright ©2008 man