Thursday, June 18, 2009

Wreck This Journal Week #3 (and Creative Every Day)

This week I worked on doodling and coloring and marking up my introduction pages.......

This week I worked on doodling and coloring and marking up my introduction pages.......

I also did the BURN THIS PAGE page with my woodburner...tried to burn holes in the paper....and the words "I'm On Fire" which was really hard to do and I pretty much burned it up. Oh well. I used the black from the ashes to mark the background and liked it so well I went back in and added more black. I will do the page opposite it too next.

I had a BIG entry here....and now it is gone. Oh well....I will start over again.

This week I worked on doodling, and coloring, and altering the introduction pages of my journal. I also did the BURN THIS PAGE page (see above).

This week has been a welcome creative outlet for me. I guess I am still struggling with the "WRECKING" part of WRECK THIS JOURNAL (as you can probably tell). I have looked at other posts and see where everyone is interpreting "WRECKING" as "DESTROYING" ...or at least that is how I am taking it. I don't look at "wrecking" as necessarily destroying.....whether creatively or not. I look at "wrecking" as more like "creatively altering" ....I imagine even for me that will be hard enough to accomplish each week.

I looked up the word WRECKING in the dictionary and found synonyms of "TO DESTROY, TO DEVASTATE, TO SHATTER" and I am having a very hard time accepting that.

I have very little time in my life to have any creative outlets. To PURPOSEFULLY turn around then and DESTROY any of my creativity or work WOULD be shattering to me..which I guess is the "WRECKING" part. BUT also on the other hand.....just marking this book up even with GOOD art is DEVASTATING TO ME. I mean it goes against everything I have ever done! SO isn't that WRECKING for me?

I don't know. I am thinking the WRECKING part of WRECK THIS JOURNAL will be very different for many of will be the way we PERCEIVE it to be. What may be WRECKING to one....will not be to another. What I am doing so far is wrecking to me. My goal all along was to WRECK this journal (alter it) but in a creative/artsy way.....even when I rub dirt on the page that says to rub dirt on it. I will do that.....but then I still want to try to make something GOOD out of the BAD! SO I imagine when I RUB that dirt on the page I will add and embelish and use other methods to then create something "creative" and "pleasing" to my inner being.

Does that still qualify as wrecking? I think it does....because I did the wrecking part....but then I took it a step further.

I am starting to get a headache thinking this through...but I will continue to think on this. I am sure this also is a reflection of my life in general and how I always want to make even something BAD into something GOOD. Yes...I can see that....because in my mind even I am never quite GOOD know? I could always be work could always be art could always be even if something is crappy...I always want to bring it up a notch on the standards of what is "acceptable" or "pleasing" to the eye. MY eyes...others' eyes...

hum.......this journal may be opening my eyes

IN MY HEAD: ("Oh there's a dab of dirt there you can't remove? Well let me see if I can make a tree out of it!" Make it look like something else....something MORE than just a dab of dirt. Is that wrong? Am I obsessive compulsive....have I been a recluse too long and have nothing better to do with my time? I don't know. The biggest part of me does not think so or see anything wrong with this way of thinking.) I guess I am a fixer....UPPER.....

but this journal is about tearing down.....

so I struggle...I want to tear down first......and then build back up. In my mind I justify the wrecking part that way I suppose....cause I wrecked it....but then FIXED it.... I need some Tylenol

Into Dust....Mazzy Star (performed by The Brooke)