Saturday, May 29, 2004

I ache all over today. Not sure why. We have had some nice storms...and sunshine in between. Now the sun is shining again. I went to a seminar at church today. About 3 hours. Learned about spiritual gifts and your calling and "Investing in Ministry" basically. Very insightful and interesting.

Not much new news I guess.....I have tons to do here. I should go for now. Just wanted to check in at least.


Wednesday, May 26, 2004

WOW....I LOVE finally being able to POST PICS online!!! WHOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!

I LOVE that smile!! Posted by Hello

Noah and Garfield
Posted by Hello

What a SMILE! Posted by Hello

My Little Noah Posted by Hello
Hey there. I am coming in tonight if not before to work. I was going to go in last night but we had problems with our neighbors downstairs last night. I had to call the police.....JUST exactly like the old situations when we lived at the apartment. I DO WISH the man who owned that condo had NOT rented but SOLD to someone. Only the renters seem to cause problems around here for the most part. The woman rented from him....and then a few months ago this guy showed up. I hate to judge people but you could tell by looking at him that he was no good. AND I found out last night I was right. I was trying to sleep as Noah and I went to bed early...and something woke me up shortly after Keith got home. I heard all this banging around bad I thought a couple of times one of our walls was going to collapse. I mean it sounded like he was cussing and banging her or himself or his hands or something into the walls and slamming things around...REALLY LOUD. LOUDER than I have heard things before....really tearing the place up. I thought you know....we don't have to put up with this crap. I wish I knew the owner as I would call him. I DID call the police....took them forever to finally come out. I had to call back asking if they were coming as it sounded so bad downstairs. They finally showed up. By that time of course the guy had quieted down some because I think they realized police were outside. Back up officers came and they approached the condo. They took the guy outside to talk to him while 2 other officers went inside to talk to the woman. The guy was talking so loud because he had been drinking we could hear what he said. Here he is ON PAROLE.......he used to run a CHOP SHOP he said and steal cars...etc. Had been placed in a MAXIMUM security prison for (not sure what maybe the chop shop) and then HE said they realized he should not be there. BUT BEFORE they could transfer him or whatever he apparently ESCAPES prison through a laundry bag!!!!!! Was out on the RUN for 13 months. FINALLY (he said) HE decided to turn himself in. I would assume he went back to prison...his story got sketchy at times...but I assume he went back to prison.....maybe not. Anyway..he is on PAROLE now....and he kept saying his parole officer would have to be contacted about the police coming out and that she did not believe a word coming out of his mouth so she would contact the police. Well gee...wonder WHY she does not believe anything coming out of his mouth? This guy sounds like nothing but trouble. He was saying he had worked for 14 days straight 2 jobs (which was a lie as he only delivers pizza at night and has NOT ever worked 14 days straight-more like 3-4). In fact he only recently got the pizza delivery job. Anyway....he said he has been working and that she works in the days and he at night and they never get to see each other "WHA....WHA....WHA". The police officer said well I face that same problem all the time and so do many others even some living here probably face that. He asked what HE did. The police officer said "I DEAL WITH IT". He talked to the guy about DRINKING....and how they had to take domestic violence calls seriously because they have found people dead before because of calls like that...etc. Anyway.....I do not know what this guy COULD DO. It sounds like he has a tremendous problem with temper and getting into trouble in the past at least. I know we live in a so-called CONTROLLED environment and I HIGHLY doubt they want this guy living here. As a matter of fact I don't believe he OFFICIALLY lives here as the woman was the one who rented from the owner not this guy. THAT is probably HOW he got to live here....because any record check would have flagged him as he is on parole..etc.

So anyway...they talked to the woman and the man. Finally left saying they could finish resolving their problems in the morning. I got a horrible sleep as I was afraid to leave....thinking something could happen while I was gone. I kept thinking what if this guy blows her head off or tries to or something and a bullet comes up here and hits Noah...or someone. Terrible things to think about etc. but I do. REMINDED ME SO MUCH of the apartment life and how we lived after a BAD CROWD moved in around us ....I DO NOT want to go back that route. After the police left Keith and I sat out here and talked...and the guy downstairs went outside and came around to the front to look up here. I guess seeing if we were up or maybe had been the ones who called. If he says anything to us (like a fake apology about the noise) we may just PLAY DUMB and act like we had not heard anything because our AC was on. Then they can think it was someone else who called on them. BUT....I was sitting in the dark up here so he could not see anything. You know a couple nights ago this man and younger woman came over here knocking on the woman's door downstairs. Now she did not answer for some reason...they were really pounding.....the man was looking around her patio and trying to see inside her condo. FINALLY she answered and they went inside. I wonder what that was all about and if they were worried about her and thinking something had happened to her? This is not the first time these people have argued. BUT the first time I had heard all this banging around. The woman the guy said is a critical care nurse......and supposedly just got TRANSFERRED from Lutheran Hospital to some nursing home. That sounded odd to me and Keith as hospitals don't transfer you to nursing homes. They both have drinking problems...and she does NOT have custody of her kids. Makes you wonder. When she first moved in she was driving a different car like every month or so. Maybe the guy was putting her in stolen cars..who knows. Anyway..they now have a beat up old white car from D.F. Auto sales and NO PLATES ON IT.

I am torn about what to do. I want to contact HOA about this....but I doubt they can do a lot about it. Maybe they can though because tenants are supposed to live QUIETLY and follow the rules here...etc. I guess I can write a generic letter and ask and see what they say is possible to do. Anyway..the whole event took over an hour....and kept me up over 2 hours......I got no sleep.....and a horrible migraine. SO I stayed home to work the rest of the hours I had to get in for last night (because I had worked in the daytime some) I will be in to work tonight. I know clinics were canceled Monday and I know more were canceled this there should not be too much happening there anyway. The cancellations are giving me the chance to finish up some tapes Robin had turned in to me that were extremely LONG.

OH..Dr. Phil was on yesterday. They were having couples on from relationship rescue. They did a parental challenge thing where the husband and wife both have to think about their mother and father and what bad things they brought into their marriages because of their parents...and anything good they thought about their parents..etc. WOW>..really made me stop to think. One of the questions was "what do you love about your dad". I HATE to say this but I could not think of anything. I thought to myself SURELY I could think of something......the ONLY thing that came to my mind was not something I loved about him so much as something I appreciated and was thankful for him for. I mean he is my father.....and the fact that he has always provided for his family and has been faithful to mom (as far as I know). I feel kind of guilty for not thinking of something else or anything that I could say I LOVE about him. Then I started thinking about all the bad things that happened when we were growing up...and how dad never really did express any love to us kids or wanted to be part of our lives or thoughts. He was not interested in what we did with our time or lives and in fact still does not really want to talk about anyone or anything but HIMSELF. I thought to myself no wonder us kids are all messed up!!! Dad also has a problem with fat people. Since I have gained all this weight he is on me all the time about it. Making fun....making comments...laughing. When I was there for Easter my sister Becky had taken a picture of me that was not really flattering. Dad could not wait of course to print off a copy and bring it to me....I about freaked as it showed all my DOUBLE CHIN...etc...and I said "WOW". He started laughing. I said "well I remind myself of someone but I cannot think of who". Dad said " I thought you reminded me of MAMA CASS"!!!! I could not BELIEVE he said that. Mom proceeded to tell me she thought I looked like dad's MOM (dead now) who I look NOTHING LIKE....she was really heavy....etc...and I have NEVER LOOKED like not sure where that came from. Now these are my parents who are supposed to say good things about their kids all the time and loving things and love their kids unconditionally....but that has never seemed to be the case. Dad has many times over and over (AND MOM TOO) looked at us kids with disgust or even almost hate for various how can you do that with one of your own kids???? I DO PRAY I NEVER experience that with Noah. I also pray NOAH can be raised to avoid a lot of the normal crap a lot of kids go through.....and mainly because I want him to KNOW GOD and BE A CHILD OF GOD and hopefully that will save his butt from having to go through much of it!! sister Angela called me last night and I told her about Dr. Phil's question and she said she could not think of anything she could say she LOVED about dad either. That is sad. I think Melissa would say the same thing and not sure about my sister Becky. Or my brother Chris. It is sad. Dad seems to be totally wrapped up on himself and only wants to talk about himself. I cannot remember him ever saying anything POSITIVE or good about his own kids.....he has never dished out compliments to us for anything. It is all about dad and I guess always will be. I have long ago accepted that about dad and I can tolerate being around him and he was in fact much better and more enjoyable to be around at Easter time this year. Mom seems to have distanced herself from everyone more I think. She almost acts like she is afraid to get too involved or too close. She has become more judgemental over the years which has actually surprised I thought she used to be more like my grandma Custer and not judging at all and more accepting of everyone. BOTH my parents seem to have problems with African-Americans. I still haven't figured that one out. OH WELL.

SO I am a living environment is closing in on me. I am trying hard to still completely catch up at work......while I am also trying to get things accomplished around here.....we are realizing we are running out of space here in the condo ...but I don't know if we could actually swing a new place yet. I think we we are trying to fix this place up it will make it easier to sell down the road........and make it more enjoyable for us now......and all in all I am trying to figure out why I AM THE WAY I AM NOW....and I am sure it all stems back from my YOUNGER days. Things are starting to make some sense finally to me. head is pounding.