Saturday, January 11, 2003

What a beginning to the New Year! Grandma fell down and broke her arm. She will have a lot more difficulty taking care of Grandpa now!! Debbie is really helping out a lot and I am THANKFUL to GOD that she is there and able to do so. I MUST send her something!! My uncle Mike is not doing well. There has been something going on with him now for some time. First they were thinking just strokes...but now he seems to be having neurological odd. He had to be admitted the same day my grandma fell and broke her arm!! Brother. They kept him to do some tests and next he will have to see a neurologist. Hopefully he will follow through with those orders and GO!! Then my sister Angela passed out at work. Her BP was low...her temp was low...she had fluid on her ears but no signs of infection....they thought she might have an infection on the lining of her brain. All her tests came back okay so they believe she is just experiencing an inner ear infection. I hate to ask what next!! I woke up with a migraine am getting a late start with work. Just took 2 Excedrine migraine they normally work wonders for me.

Watched "Witness" again yesterday. The Amish hold such interest for me and their way of life is really pretty impressive most times. When the scene came up where the little boy is told to ring the bell to get even made me cry. WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT? hahah. I guess I was just so impressed by the fact that ALL the Amish came running to their assistance at a moment's notice to help out. THE ENTIRE community or at least ALL those who heard the bell. They truly do seem to be there for each wise and then community wise. Somewhere along the way the average Americans I think have lost that...if we even ever experienced it as much as the Amish seem to do. German Baptist are the same way I think. The importance of family is so strong....and I think we all lessen it something terrible. I then watched "The Joy Luck Club" later that night. That always is a good see those women struggling with becoming adult women and to find out how or what their mothers lived or went through to get to the point in their life they were at. I know what we have all gone through would not even be comparable but the "essence" of the story is the same. How our parents can continue to have such HOLDS over us and not even know most times it seems nothing we can do will ever please our parents...etc. Very strange when you think about it because I think all generations tend to think this way and believe. I think somewhere down the road you either realize your parents HAVE to see you the way you are and take you at face value or you end up just not even caring about it anymore which I think it what creates that "distance" in families. NOT a good thing. Everyone is all so busy these days. BUSY....BUSY.....BUSY. Seems we don't have time to even take care of ourselves properly let alone HEAVEN FORBID have time to help someone else out...even to VISIT with someone else. Gone are the days when families went VISITING other relatives or on picnics or things like that. I long for days like when we were little.....I wonder if we will ever get to experience those again in our lifetimes!! I do hope with Noah and if he grows up and marries and has any children we can continue it that way by having kids over to dinner and picnics and BBQs and such. Christmas is different now too...seems more stressful these days. Out here in Colorado though it usually is smoother and more enjoyable. Why can't we have a Christmas like the old days? I guess no one is the same anymore....not sure. I remember on Christmas Eve making eggnog and Chex party mix while watching "Scrooge" with my sister Becky when we were still young and lived at home. Or watching the snow fall outside the front window under the street light.....I remember some people going around Christmas caroling on horseback......during the snow on a Christmas making sugar cookies and putting those silver hard ball things on top that you would just about break your teeth on. Mom making fudge and those cookies and then having the neighbors "the Meyers" come over to visit.....I remember Kurt bringing his guitar and playing Christmas songs. I remember making stuffed TD bears and other craft things one year because Becky and I sold things to earn money at Christmas. All the while watching "The Grinch" or other Christmas movies on tv. I remember mom having us eat by candlelight at the kitchen table a few nights one year around Christmas. I remember her filling up stockings for each of us kids with small items and we were allowed to open ONE thing each night or day before Christmas about a week or two before. I remember one year Dad was laid off from NCR and we did were not going to have much for Christmas. But the neighbors "The Davis'" brought each of us kids over some things. I remember they gave me a purse and Beanie and Cecil bubble bath. I STILL have the Cecil bubble bath container!! I remember one year mom and dad giving us girls these stuffed dogs for our beds...all in different colors. I also got a TIN wind up duck (STILL have that too) and some other things. I remember one year me wanting a guitar and thinking I was not getting it...and finally mom told me to look under their bed for another present..and THERE IT WAS!! Strange the things you do remember. I remember mom frying shrimp and french fries for our supper in the summer time. Us kids riding our bikes around the block with other kids or playing in the backyard a LOT! Smelling cut grass and seeing all the fireflies at night!! Getting by without air conditioning (don't know how we did it!). Staying at Grandma and Grandpa's house in the summer and at my aunt Nancy's house. SO much fun. Swimming......playing outside....sun ins!! A&W rootbeer stands......MAID-RITES! The Darke County Fair. I guess I have a lot of wonderful memories and they are frozen in time in my mind like photographs. SEGMENTS of time.......that will be there forever! I remember family coming down to our house for visits nearly every week! AND for dinner.....or us going to their house. I remember Vera and Ed coming down once a week or so to play cards with mom and dad....drinking coffee and having cookies. Or us heading out to their house. I guess we thought those days would go on forever...but at the same time I remember WANTING TO BE BIG and grown up NOW. NOW is here.....has been here for a long time. hahahaha. OH well. I think it is important to have experiences and to start traditions you can carry on with your own they can have these types of memories. And all comes back to FAMILY doesn't it? WHEN we spent real time with each other....sometimes doing such SIMPLE things...those days seem to mean the most to everyone involved...and I know they mean the most to kids. KIDS will most remember the TIME you spent with them. I don't remember dad spending much time with any of us kids. I guess he was always working to bring home money! Not sure. Mom was always there and always went to our events and things. Mom always made us cookies or a snack after school. I loved staying at Grandma and Grandpa's house. All the SMELLS there....the ticking of the CLOCKS.....everything seemed to comfort you. It still does. When I visited there on Friday the 27th when we there for our trip to Ohio last Christmas....I think I enjoyed that visit more than any other. It brought back memories of older times and days gone by I guess. I seemed to be transported back in time....nothing seems to change there. You can almost feel like you did when you were there as a kid. All the same smells and scents....etc. We could really visit too which was nice. Oh well..I am RAMBLING NOW....

Was very chilly yesterday. Could not warm up which is super odd for me!! I kept turning up the heat and all I wanted to do was sleep. NOT GOOD! I am reading a book about centarians.....people who are 100 years old or more. Amazing book. I do pray that all those I know and in my family including MYSELF....(haha) can end up living independent lives in our own homes and take care of ourselves for eternity if necessary on this earth and not have to even think about nursing homes and such. Staying physically and mentally "with it" is a MUST!! I do not know how anyone can survive otherwise....or how they could afford it at least.

Lit my candles last night. They smell so good. So thankful to have them to burn. Really makes the atmosphere cozy and warm. I am so thankful for so many things.....It is amazing how smells can really make you "FEEL" certain ways or bring back memories.

I made chili and cornbread muffins for lunch yesterday. It was really good. This weekend we are to do our late Christmas (me and Keith)..but I still have to shop for that if we do. So who knows...maybe I can talk him into waiting till Valentine's Day...that might be kind of do it then. For some reason when it gets down to just me and him "gift giving" just does not seem important or necessary. Not sure why I feel that way. So I never shop and put it off and it never seems to get done unless I FORCE myself to complete it. Weird...cause I have all my other shopping done super early in the year.

Cannot believe it is January 11 already. Where does time go?? It is going by too fast that is for sure!! Well..I have more work to do and hours to put in. I need to get off here and get back to it. Also need to brew some coffee.

More later.

Thursday, January 09, 2003

Noah is so amazing!! I love it when he wants to snuggle up with me at night and sleep...and he really LOVES to snuggle up that is for sure!! He will look at me....put both hands on the sides of my face even......and get as close as he can and fall asleep like that. He comes up to me in the day to give me "big hugs" and "lots of kisses"!! Yesterday he said his FULL name and CLEARLY. Napoletano is not an easy last name for most adults to say let alone a little child. But he said it loud and clear. Then he proceeded to call me "mommy Napoletano" and Keith "daddy Napoletano". TOO CUTE!! We both went to bed early last night. I was so tired and exhausted and so was he. I think we fell asleep almost as soon as we hit the pillows! He is to return to school today. He should have went back on Tuesday but for some reason that day he did not want to go back. So we will try again today.

Nice and warm the past 2 days. Hit near 70 or so yesterday. We did manage to get down all of the Christmas decorations from outside yesterday including the lights!! Guess that is a start.

Got a message Grandma fell down and broke her arm yesterday on some ice at her house. She was trying to pick up her garbage cans that had blown across the street. Then uncle Mike fell down outside but acted so odd they called 911 for him. He is still at the hospital having what appears to be seizures of some kind. SO...hopefully they can find out what is happening with him! I called Grandma and talked to her last night for a bit. She has never broken any bones before and she is 80!! Grandpa is doing pretty well she said and she seems to think she can handle him during the time she is recovering in a cast. I PRAY that will be the case. If I lived closer I could help her out more that is for sure. Makes you start wondering about getting older and EVERYTHING!!

Called and talked to Debbie yesterday too. She called me back and I swear we must have talked 2 hours!! She will keep me posted on Grandma and Mike.

I am cold. The heat has not kicked on so I turned it up. It finally did. Has been too warm. I actually had our windows open yesterday.

I should get my Carlton Cards ornaments today via UPS. DISCOUNTED after Christmas. GREAT BUYS!! AHHHH..the heat just kicked on. I think I will also grab a sweater. that I am back to work I feel like SLEEPING in all the time. I got tons of extra sleep while on vacation which was so nice. I actually got 6 hours last night which is a lot for me so I should be okay...but I feel kind of sleepy for some reason anyway.

Already have our lunch made for today. Chicken and noodles....mashed potatoes and a green vegetable!

Well..I need to get to work. Will write more later.

Sunday, January 05, 2003

I am SOOOO exhausted. Feel almost as if someone has drugged me or something. I get this way every once in a while and I cannot stand it when I do. I feel like doing absolutely NOTHING.....staying in my PJs all day if I can get away with it...and just SLEEPING. What a productive day huh? I have hardly any energy it feels like to do even the basic things like brushing my hair or teeth or even getting dressed. I do simple things and feel even more tired and worn out. I guess I should be using my CPAP machine at night...have not now for several it has probably caught up with me finally. I am to go back to work tomorrow night..but may tonight so I can get things organized and ready so Monday night I can actually work at typing. I PRAY I will still be able to stay caught up or to quickly get caught back up and be a CLEAN SLATE like I worked so hard to achieve before my vacation in December! I guess WHAT night I go in depends on the weather too. It may start to snow this afternoon or this evening instead of Monday so maybe I will be waiting till Monday night after all. It kind of makes me nervous to think about what may be waiting for me there....but I try to not let it.

Not much else new here. I sent Keith by himself to pick up a few things at the store. I did not feel like going. I did manage to put the groceries away. I watched Peanuts "Happy New Year Charlie Brown" and "Be My Valentine Charlie Brown" today with Noah. We love the Peanuts cartoon movies.

Strange darkness seems to be in my bedroom at nighttime. Not sure what that is all about. I pray even harder. Last night I went into the bedroom to go to bed. Keith was already in there. I had laid down with Noah in his bedroom on his bed until he fell asleep and then headed into our room to sleep. As I got almost to my nightstand I thought Keith was standing scared me...but the shadow I thought was him I walked through and it was gone. SO....guess it was not him after all. It was odd...and bothered me. I sometimes wonder if something is hanging around him or me that should not be and if so WHY. I wonder about that watch Angela sent to me that time for my birthday. I think it may have been Gary's mother's watch. I wonder if something is still attached to that watch? Or who knows. I laid down and prayed. I finally fell asleep. I got up early..trying to get back to my normal routine. I then sat on the sofa and finally fell asleep again. Maybe I am just not getting any good rest at nighttime lately.

So..if it snows tonight I may hold off till Monday night. If not I may go in tonight to clean up and bring stuff home. Hang my new calendar.....take my Christmas decorations down at work to bring home...etc. Won't be long and Valentine's Day will be here ...time goes by so fast these days.

I watched the CD mom made for me for Christmas about the Custer family. Hard to believe all those people or most have passed on already.

Well..I am signing off for now. Now my back is hurting. We put some little Smokies on the small crockpot mom got me for Christmas today. May snack on those later.