Saturday, August 04, 2007

trust is shit...

One advantage of being a woman...
I am a lot smarter than most will ever realize

Does one honestly think for one minute
That what they display on the outside
To try to fool me into believing whatever absurdity
they currently choose
(Like how I can trust them completely)
Yet behind my back continue dabbling in other honey pots
Is something that goes unnoticed from my all-seeing eyes?

If I play "dumb" does it make one feel
as if they are getting away with it?
Superior in some psychotic way...the ultimate "player?"
A winner?

I wonder why one feels it necessary to cast a fishing line for many
Are they saving for a rainy day? For a "just in case" scenario?
Is my constant stroking of their ego not enough?
Are they an ego stroking junkie....constantly seeking the next fix?

Does one truly believe my persona going near-totally ignored
By the one expressing undying love
Would ultimately make me feel as if they were the least bit truly interested
In me?

I laugh out loud at the sheer madness of it all
That someone who professes such love
Could be so blind as to not see
All that stands before them
Waiting only to be genuinely noticed

I grow tired of the antics and back flips I've mastered
Trying to draw attention for even a moment
In my direction
Yet even when I succeed.....I have to ask myself
"Is it genuine?"

Why is it one can trust me
Yet feel perhaps I cannot trust them?
Why do little white lies seem only "stretching the truth" in their minds
Because they have convinced themselves to believe it is still "truth?"

We all know they are the first to boast they are not a liar
They have nothing to hide
They are not doing anything even remotely inappropriate

That seems to be a bit hypocritical to me
And yet the blindfolds come out
The game continues
Even if we grow weary of playing
We choose to see only what we choose to see
Ignoring all other bites of reality
Hovering in our peripheral vision.

Most do a pretty good job
At convincing another they are completely trustworthy
Yet in reality they fall short
Along the way they change the rules
To benefit only them

What was once shared is taken away and becomes hidden
Tucked down inside a pocket that fits only their hands
Done perhaps they espouse "to protect" another.....
Because everyone knows what the other does not know won't hurt them right?

Or maybe it is done to "avoid" stirring up conflicts
Not realizing they are simmering a potful

All these things ultimately become "secretive" all over again
One does not feel they can share "all" with another

In the end this makes their trust mean shit.

Copyright ©2007 man&SippingTheVastSpring

No comments: