Buddy...

When sexual thoughts creep inside my mind
And I get hot and horny
I remember this phrase though you may find
It all a bit too corny

"GET OUTTA THERE!" I say to myself
over and over again
"TELL THEM ANYTHING!" I shout and scream
as "Buddy" is now my new friend

Does anyone else remember this man?
So annoying he was on TV...
Selling carpet to all was his pleasure he said
And oh how he did it with glee!

My thoughts change from sexual to perpetual
BUDDY images in my brain
The results are extremely effectual
I find I can easily refrain

From all ill-timed sexual, lustful thoughts
Which try to enter within
Buddy removes them efficiently
Cause he really gets under my skin

The images of his smiling face
And whining voice compete
Working together at such a quick pace
Soon their job is complete

My mind is soon filled with BUDDY
BUDDY is everywhere
Making my thoughts all muddy
But free from all sexual fare

Soon I find myself cursing
Shouting "FUCK BUDDY!" to no one but me
Next I take to coercing
Staying focused the way I should be

I go about my business
Like any good girl should do
With Buddy to keep me company
All day and all night too

I think I'll be able to make it
I'm certainly in a daze
As Buddy works me like a puppet
Replaying his most famous phrase

"I don't care about making money, I just love to sell carpet!", I hear
I squinch my eyes and cover my ears in hopes it won't be so clear

But clear it is, so steady and slow
Very much like Chinese water torture
All I can say Buddy where I'm wishing you go
It will certainly be a scorcher!


Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano