Well....I don't know about anything anymore. First of all..we take Noah to school. His first day back in like 3 weeks. I go on to get my mammogram done and have a pelvic/pap with some LUNY doctor I have never seen before. Noah goes to school...Keith gets a call that Noah was pushing this one kid's empty wheelchair around (we have a child that has spina bifida that goes to school there but does not always have to use his wheelchair). Anyway..Naoh was apparently pushing this kid's wheelchair around. When the teachers tried to stop him reportedly he BIT one of them. YES...you heard me right again...BIT one of them. I was stunned. From an ongoing problem of biting to NO problem biting to an ongoing problem to NO problem to where he tries to bite all the teachers when he has a "major meltdown" to now this. I am so sick and tired of just even TRYING anything at this point...I am seriously considering HOME SCHOOLING Noah. He does fine here and has NEVER BITTEN or even TRIED to bite anyone else around us or at home. He apparently did well other than that..and they of course want him to come back on Wed. They said he was not doing it to be mean..only doing it because (they think) he cannot express himself and gets frustrated so he lashes out? WHAT?????!!!!!! He gets frustated at home sometimes or at other places too and never bites anyone. SO who knows. I am about at CRYING point and feel like just giving up and saying forget THE SYSTEM altogether.

THEN I go for my mammogram. That went well..but I had like an HOUR wait till I see a NEW OB-GYN. This guy was a trip. I mean he was an old fuddy duddy who apparently is very set in his ways. I got the impression NO one talks back to him. Well...MISS MELINDA WALKING HORMONES did today and I think he was stunned. First he did the breast exam...kept pushing on an area I have wondered about before..in my right breast. I was about to tell him that was an area that felt tender a lot but he finished up and I guess felt it was okay. Course MY SIZE does not help whenever you have to be PALPATED anywhere I guess like on the abdomen as the fat gets in the way..etc. So...he sits down and asks me all these questions. Age...."let's see you are 40 or 41?" I said NO..I am 45. He said "OH ...I guess I READ that wrong in your history". He then said "I see there is a history of ovarian cancer in the family?" I again said "NO" and he again said "OH I am sorry I guess I must have read that wrong too". I am beginning to wonder what kind of QUACK I have. "So I see the last time they recommended genetic counseling for breast cancer history but I see you did not follow through with that?" I said "yes..I did not follow through with it because WHY would I when even if the test showed the gene to POSSIBLE breast cancer...would not mean I WOULD get breast cancer some day. I may also NOT..so I did not follow through with it". He then proceeded to tell me how he was SURPRISED a doctor had even recommended I have genetic counseling....as my risk for breast cancer was not that high. Let's see....my mom has had it..her sister died at 42 years of age from breast cancer that then spread. HUM.....I have never had a doctor yet who did NOT say this did not increase my risk for breast cancer. He said ONLY if MOM had also had it BEFORE menopause. SO.....I asked about getting the CA-125 blood test to RULE OUT ovarian cancer. I told him I knew it is not a very accurate test in woman BEFORE menopause..and there are many false positives..and sometimes it will be normal in a woman with ovarian cancer..but what to do? SO..he proceeded to tell me WHY bother with that? It was not accurate....surgery was the only way to see if anyone had cancer of the ovary..and in my case..with ALL the surgeries I have had in my life...WHY do any additional surgery even exploratory as it would increase my risk for adhesions and possible bowel obstruction..etc. I looked at him and said "THAT has got to be the CRAZIEST thing that has come out of your mouth since I have been in here". He kind of looked at me amused and stunned. I said "because I don't want to DIE from ovarian cancer!!"...which I felt was a pretty damn good reason to want to RULE this out. I cannot help it if this is the (unfortunately) BEST test to rule out ovarian cancer the medical field has come up with. Short of exploratory surgery and biopsy (which I believe could be even done from BELOW and therefore NON-INVASIVE) there is NO other way to see if you have ovarian cancer or not. He basically said nothing is fool proof and in his mind why risk the side effects of surgery to SEE if you have it. I GUESS you would have to be in END STAGE ovarian cancer before this doc would be willing to do anything. I have a cyst on my remaining left ovary now that has been there for a few months. I am now 45 and going through the change (YES..he agreed with me on this). He said times have changed and we are not as radical about things as we used to be. He was STUNNED I was only 22 when they removed a cyst from my right ovary and then took the entire ovary, tube and my appendix out all at the same time. He wondered WHY. I told him I was only told it was the size of a lemon...and that there was no portion of my ovary that could be salvaged. He was still surprised and acted like that was something that NEVER happens. OR should never happen..especially in a 22 year old. He kept saying he wished he could know the reason behind that...but guessed we never would. I TOLD him the reason but he just DID not hear me I guess. So......I wondered about any doctor who could not read your history correctly and RETAIN anything...like he had no worries..if I EVER was going to consider any surgery..I WOULD NEVER let HIM be the one to do it anyway. So he did the PAP test...and then decided (after telling me he felt it was all GI related problems) that he would do a rectal exam. After shoving his fingers inside as far as he could and twirling them around like he was trying to wash the inside of a glass out...over and over again. I finally said "look...DON'T RAM your fingers up there again like that", "I have had enough done and enough symptoms to KNOW when it is GI related or not..and THIS IS NOT..you will NOT find anythin wrong in my rectum!!". The assistant in the room started laughing and left. The doctor very MEEKLY said "Oh sorry.....I guess you are right". LIKE DUH. He said well rectal bleeding is something to worry about. See..I have had rectal bleeding WITH my periods now for about 18 months. ONLY associated with my periods. It is a good indicator of WHEN my periods will start now for me since many of my other symptoms don't occur or my cycle has been so messed up. I will start to bleed rectally before my period actually starts. This will happen a day before usually and then continue into the cycle..but as I continue to have a period eventually the rectal bleeding stops. Of course he asked all the same questions all the others have asked. LIKE are you SURE it is coming from the rectum? LIKE DUH...YES...I have stuck my fingers...kleenex and a TAMPON inside my VAGINA and there is no BLOOD there but the toilet is full of blood and there is blood from my rectum when I wipe..>DUH..hello...it is not RUNNING magically out of my uterus when I have a bowel movement to then suddenly disappear. NOW grant it..this will NOT be the first time MY BODY and its actions will not be easily explained away by the medical field. So he said again..well..he would think this sounded more like a GI problem. I said well..could be BUT AGAIN I AM HAVING NO GI SYMPTOMS! I have had enough to know the difference between the 2. This feels FEMALE related. I asked about endometriosis as I had read online about it causing rectal bleeding with periods. He said yes that could happen but since I had a colonoscopy performed a year ago they should have seen something. I asked WHY..he said they should have seen a lesion or something there causing the blood to come through from my periods. Then he goes on to say that the only TRUE way to test for that is to put a patient on a course of Lupron for 6 months..which puts you into INSTANT MENOPAUSE (with possible side effects of course). IF your symptoms go away....it is endometriosis as your symptoms WILL go away post menopause. If they stay..it is something else. Course I was not thrilled about that....and was trying to convey that I was more concerned about the ovary and cyst..as I knew most of my problems and complaints now were probably HORMONE related and once I GET to the magic moment of no more periods..my problems would be relieved. I also have to worry about a physician who has a hard time looking you in the face. He rarely looked me in the eye when talking to me. He kept looking down or other places. OR perhaps it was because he had this ENTIRE conversation with me while I was still sitting there with a piece of paper barely covering my breasts and another draped across my bare naked butt and legs? I thought it would have been nice if he at least would have allowed me to get dressed first before having a 30-45 minute discussion in his office. SO..final conclusion. He is now a bit worried about the cyst and my symptoms. Wants me to have a repeat vaginal ultrasound. IF the cyst is still there or has changed in size..etc..he will probably agree to the CA-125. If the cyst is gone..he feels all is well in the world. BUT ...to be safe I should come back every 6 months for an exam. If the cyst is there but has changed we will have to worry about it he said and monitor it every few months to see if it is changing or growing in size...etc. If that happens...we will go from there. I found it odd that the first physician I went to about my complaints said the opposite about chances of adhesions etc.. I know the risk is there from the different surgeries I have had..etc...but the first doc said and acted like it was not a leigitimate risk or that I had not had that many extensive surgeries to increase my risk? WHO KNOWs..maybe he did not read my chart well either? NOW...if it was cancer. I get the impression this doc I saw today would be of the mind set to "let's wait and see approach". Meanwhile you get end stage cancer and die. GEE...I guess he would find out huh? SO..I finally told him "Look. I am a patient and I have to be my own advocate. If you are telling me you will NOT do a CA-125 test if I ask for one..I will find another physician WHO WILL do it". He again was stunned I actually asked something for my own behalf. He finally agreed to do it if the ovarian cyst is still there...and go from there. TALK about frustating and I WILL NEVER see this OB-GYN again.

I then have to go back downstairs to schedule the ultrasound as he said IT WOULD BE EASIER to walk back down and do it rather than call. I get down there and wait at the front desk for 15 minutes while the receptionist talks to another woman and schedules her for something. FINALLY she asked me if I had a question. I told her my OB-GYN said to come back down and blah blah blah. She told me I had to put my insurance card in the slot and take a seat and she would be with me soon. YEAH RIGHT. I said forget it (now 20 minutes later) and I would CALL in for it.

I then stop by Chick-Fil-A to take home lunch as it is now 12:30 and I have spent 2 1/2 hours at the doctor's office. The man in front of me could not decide what he wanted as he changed his order like 3 times. Then he forgets he has a coupon. FINALLY I am done. I am now home...getting a headache. Have to work tonight and the saga goes on. I am about at wit's end. I think Noah should stay out of that preschool and we should seek help soley for his expressive language problem if that is what his problem is...and I don't see how sending him to a preschool over and over where he is subjected to FRUSTRATION to the point where he feels like biting someone is helpful for him in the end. SO.....so much to think about.

AND THAT has been my day so far and it is only 2:18 now!