I think Keith purposefully went today to get the car checked...to avoid his birthday. He is turning 49 today you know. He has been acting more weird than usual. I swear he does not use his head and THINK most times about anything...or use any common sense. And he cannot retain anything you tell him. He sleeps constantly...I mean 99.9% of the time when he is home he is in a reclining position with his eyes shut. He even tries playing with Noah in that position. Now tell me how can you be interactive with a child laying down? Course he denies it. But check out the pictures I have taken of him recently. ALMOST ALL show him laying down and I DID NOT plan that on purpose. That is just the position I always find him in. He has no energy or so it seems. I question that as I think sometimes he puts that on a bit. He acts like he cannot use his right hand much at all. He drags his feet along when he walks......the only time he acts somewhat chipper is when he is going to work or doing something he wants to do.....he says he does not feel tired at 10:30 at night....I said of course not. You can be yourself then as Noah and I are in bed. I told him it seemed he was trying to avoid being around us and he is like a walking ZOMBIE ...a mere shell of himself.....going through the motions. Course he denied anything being related to me...he said it was him. I asked what that meant and of course he had no explanation. He believes nothing physically is wrong..and that wanting to sleep all the time is NORMAL for someone his age. I said WRONG> I told him people at nursing homes were probably more active than him. He will only get moving if I suggest doing something. Like Friday watching Finding Nemo he was fine. He did not act tired...walked with some spunk and got around fine. I think it is great if he feels super relaxed at home...but the second you walk in the door you head to the bed to sleep? I don't know if he is just avoiding LIFE with us or me or if he really is tired and that is a physical problem or what. I told him he needs to make an appointment to the doctor because sleeping all the time is not normal. I know he has obstructive sleep apnea and needs to get that treated but of course he probably would never do the recommended treatment anyway. BUT...he said he has always been this way and I told him he has not. Only the last couple of years he has been this way. I told him he acts like he is totally miserable 99.9% of the time. I asked if he was happy or enjoyed his life. He said yes. I said no one would ever know it by looking at you. Meanwhile he is what Dr. Phil calls a "sabatouer (sp?). He whether he agrees on this or not...he DOES mess things up when doing things just so you or someone else will end up doing it instead. He will stand there after doing something wrong...or breaking something...with a half grin on his face....and YOU KNOW he has done it on purpose and has achieved the desired results...which is basically doing it all yourself. I am getting kind of tired I told him of not having a PARTNER to SHARE with all the responsibilities and every day living. I am not talking about sex here either. I just mean every day stuff and crap. He is like here but mentally somewhere else all the time. SO....it has been a real joy lately. Like trying to pull teeth out of him when you try to get any information from him too. He denied a girlfriend or wanting one of course. I would hope he has learned his lessons there. He just seems miserable. I know his new AGE is bothering him.....49 years...and he only thinks of what he has NOT done with his life. I ask him what he wants to do and of course he cannot think of anything. he has no hobbies...which I find super odd too. Nothing he enjoys doing when he is off work...he will read.....but most of the time he sleeps....eats.....watches television with his eyes shut and snoring. He will occasionally play with Noah....but acts like everything is such a huge chore. He almost always thinks mainly of himself too even though he would also deny that.

So...part of me wants to say SCREW his birthday. He obviously does not want to celebrate it so heck with it. Part of me then thinks perhaps he needs a party as I doubt anyone has ever given him one. SO who knows.

This has been my life for awhile now..fun huh? hahahahahahahahaha