Lord help me.......I'm a coffee creamer junkie...

I have come to the final realization......I am indeed ADDICTED to flavored coffee creamer. Holy crap when and how did this happen? I used to enjoy a flavored coffee treat only seasonally when Starbucks came out with their HOLIDAY cappuccinos.....and then I would maybe have those ONLY 1-2 times for the entire season.

Around that same time holiday flavored coffee creamers came out on the market.....and I tried them. Oh oh......this meant I could have access to my seasonal TREATS year-round. DAILY if I wanted.....all I had to do was go to the store and BUY the stuff and pour it into my daily coffees.

Well I love coffee. I can drink at least 2 cups every day.......and sometimes 4.......though I think I am in denial even about that. I make coffee twice per day........10 cups each time. I notice according to my coffee pot......only 4 cups are usually left in the pot when I am done drinking it.....so gee Melinda.......6+6=12 cups according to simple traditional math..but I justify all that because I know I never finish drinking the entire amount of coffee that is in my cup each time I pour one. I drink about half.....then it starts to get too cold and I end up dumping the rest. Okay....maybe I am in denial about that too. I DO sometimes finish most of the cup.....but I know it is sounding now like I make too much and dump too much hence I am wasting too much.

BUT BACK to the creamer problem. I LOVE HAZELNUT COFFEE CREAMER! Mixed in with my coffee or flavored coffee.......holy crap! I almost start to drool just thinking about it. This is sad people...freakin' sad!

I came to the realization that I was perhaps adding MORE than a mere 1 Tablespoon per cup the other day. (1 Tablespoon has 35 calories I believe.......5 gm sugar.....zero fats.....but still) when I started to notice I was buying 2 big bottles of creamer.....and they would be gone within five days. HELLO.......that is obviously WAY MORE than 1 Tablespoon per cup if each bottle has 63 -one Tablespoon servings! According to that ratio ONE bottle of creamer should be lasting me at least a month! More or less.

Somewhere along the way I have turned into a coffee-creamer junkie. I tried to wean off a month or so ago. I actually went through withdrawal symptoms....I was cranky.....okay perhaps even a bit bitchy.......and I really missed that cup of coffee with cream in it..especially in the late afternoon early evening as that was like a treat for me.....and made me feel good.....I needed my fix!

I drank my coffee black again which I can do and used to tremendously enjoy.......but found I did not enjoy it as much anymore.....and in fact.....many days went by that I did not drink any coffee at all. I just felt like why bother......it tasted too bitter and nasty most times without my creamer. (CRAP I can hear a whine when I type this which is so annoying)

I broke down and bought more cream. I realized I had a problem last night when I noticed Kroger had a sale on the creamers and I frantically grabbed 4 BIG BOTTLES!. FOUR!!! It is not cheap......and the rate I am going through it is sheer craziness.

Today I decided to see exactly HOW much creamer I really do add to my cup of coffee. I got the measuring spoons out.......and added ONE Tablespoon.....added the coffee.....tasted.......CRAP that was nasty! I could tell by the color even before I tasted it ...that it was NOT going to have enough creamer in it. SO I added ONE more Tablespoon......STILL not the way it normally tasted or looked to me. I added a third......and then a fourth. FINALLY it was about the same as I had been drinking it.

SO......I did some quick math without a calculator and realized EACH of my freaking cups of coffee was costing me at least 100+ calories now since I was adding the creamer to it! OVER ONE HUNDRED CALORIES!!! never mind the sugar content.

SO I know what I need to do.......I just am not sure how to do it. My subconscious brain is screaming out how UNFAIR it is to yank the bottle away from the baby so to speak....while my health conscious aspect is screaming LIVE LONGER damn it! I know I am going to have to wean......a COLD turkey approach did not work last time I tried it. SO these last four precious bottles of flavored coffee creamer are going to be milked for all they are worth. I will have to MEASURE my creamer in my coffee......and slowly decrease till I am off it.

How embarassing this whole subject is. How mortifying to see how quickly something can become addictive and it feels like something I need to have to just get through my normal day! I have to change this daily routine of treats back to ONLY 1-2 times per YEAR. I used to be able to drink all my coffees black......whether they were flavored or not. I need to get back to that. I need to drink more of my teas......I need an entire wing at a Betty Ford-like treatment center for coffee creamer junkies.....

Lord help me......and I say that SINCERELY......