Saturday, May 14, 2005

Was remembering when I used to have bad dreams as a kid. I mean weird bad dreams! Like my dad mowing over my sister cause she was getting on my nerves and bothering me and I had complained so he took her out in the backyard and mowed over her with the lawnmower. NOW WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

Or when my mom took us kids out to a potato patch in the dark and shot all us kids in the head??????

OR when I found my mom dead under leaves in the bathtub in our house?

ALL bad dreams and all weird and bothersome and all recurrent. A psychiatrist told me one time in the past that whenever you have violent dreams usually within a few days or weeks you could expect a wild mood swing. I am thankful I don't have dreams like that anymore. Does make you wonder what causes them though and then why they go away or change. I now have good dreams for the most part if I even have a dream. IF I dream I don't apparently remember them much. I sleep pretty well now and am sooo thankful for that!

I remember looking at pictures on our wall beside the bed at night and staring at them for so long that the women and men in the pictures came to life or seemed to to me and they would MOVE in the paintings? I think that is actually what they call hypnagogic hallucinations. I sound like one messed up kid. No wonder I rocked myself constantly trying to stay calm and soothe myself.

I think I sound a bit off so I better sign off now before everyone thinks I am really a looney tune!

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