Saturday, February 27, 2010

February 28, 2010 - Moon Dreamboard - The Full Snow Moon

Jamie over at JAMIE RIDLER STUDIOS MOON DREAMBOARDS gave us this food for thought this month:

"It’s the New Moon and that means it’s time to start pulling together resources, pictures and inspirations for your dreamboard for the Full Snow Moon, February 28th.

Today’s New Moon is in Aquarius, which means it’s a time for expansive thinking, for dreaming outside of the box, for dreams so big no box could contain them, for dreams that touch the world!

Did that make you nervous? There’s no need. I want you to really know that just by dreaming, just by taking the time to let the magic stir in your life, to imagine what’s possible, you are touching the world! You are adding to the magic of possibility. You are saying to the world, “Dreaming is important. My dreams are important.” And in doing so, you are giving everyone permission to dream. See how powerful this process is?

For this dreamboard, let’s decide to put all limitations aside and put our big dreams on the page. Let yourself be bold and brave. Go big. Go bold. Claim your wildest dreams! You can do it!"


okay......with all that being said......I started to have huge problems. I have never had problems with any dreamboard until this month. I struggled. I realized I could not really think of ANY real dreams I had for myself anymore. I then realized I was not sure I EVER really had what I would call "dreams" for myself. Then I wondered out loud "wow, do you suppose this is why I flounder around aimlessly a lot? As I apparently do not have any established goals for myself? I don't know where I am going or have I don't know what I want to be when I grow up syndrome?"

I was in turmoil. I was shocked when all these revelations started to flood the creases of my already overtaxed brain.

Initially I was going to yank images of all the BIG THINGS I thought it might be nice to HAVE one day....but I would not really call any of those my dreams. They are things.....but I know for a fact I don't have to have any of them to feel happiness or contentment. So now what .....

If I did not put those images down onto a moon dreamboard I was left with NOTHING I could think of. Then I came across a few things during my searching and seeking and thinking. One was a short video on You Tube where a woman talked about how we spend all our lives LOOKING for that one thing.......usually someone else to love are all going around looking for love. BUT.....few sometimes are willing to give risk create allow whatever love is already within themselves out! WE were created to GIVE LOVE. TO OFFER ourselves and to others.

I know for a fact I carry this over into all parts of my life......even down to diet and looking for that magic FIX to fix my issues of being overweight and out of shape. I KNOW what I need to do and instead of just doing it and getting on with my life......I don't...and spend all my time and energy seeking something to be a solution for me. I have to CREATE my own solution. AND I already know what that is!

SO...then I got to thinking more about THINGS and how we spend a lot of our lives thinking, "wow if I only had this or that, then I would really be happy and have it all. Life would be SO good!" BUT...that is not really what we want. Usually all those things don't mean a hill of beans if we don't have someone else to share them with anyway! How many rich, successful people have you heard about who were still very unhappy and depressed? STILL looking for that magic something??

We end up spending our whole lives searching for all the things we think we want, never really knowing what we have! WHY would I be blessed with MORE of anything right now in my life.....if I cannot handle and take care of what I already have? Be TRULY thankful for it all.....good and bad...and learn to LIVE IN THIS MOMENT...right now?? Forget about the past, the what if's...and maybe's. Quit waiting till that magic something drops into your lap. I realized I needed to cherish all my space, time, possessions, body, life as it already is. I need to supply the love for myself and my things in my life and in time, bigger, possibly better things will naturally fall into place. I could have a huge mansion, a black Hummer, at least a million dollars and all the free time in the world....but....would I still be looking for something? Would I become aware even then that I don't really have any true dreams for myself? Have I ever? If I did...I don't really remember them or what they were. I do remember one time when I was a little girl just wanting to grow up, meet a big hunky cowboy type man and live on a farm with him and a lot of horses and animals, and live happily ever after with him loving me and us sharing our lives. He would be there to truly help take care of me. Now THAT is a dream. Someone in person to help take care of me!

Maybe I confuse goals with dreams? To me what I just mentioned is a dream. Goals I can establish and write down and actually even accomplish. I can acquire material things over time as I want them or even need them. So what are my dreams? I have never had a moment in my life where I said, "OH I WANT TO BE THAT OR DO THIS" and then be so passionate about it I could think of nothing else. It did not consume me. I don't seem to have any drive any more. I began to think something was wrong with me...something was missing. Was something missing? Am I just too tired from the day-to-day struggles of just surviving that I don't have time to dream? Too tired to dream???? Or maybe I do not feel I deserve to have a dream? I think dreams are more than things right? So if I put images of things on my dreamboard....those would not be my dreams. I guess to some things are dreams. I think mine are more a state of my mind and being.

I decided this month my BIG DREAM for my dreamboard ....would be just learning to LIVE IN THE MOMENT.......being like a child........savoring each moment of each day and realizing that whatever I am THAT very moment...THAT IS what I am supposed to be doing.......and relish in it. Do the best job I can for myself or someone else.

LIVE IN THE free. Free up my more carefree like a in awe like a, explore, learn....experiment, create, a risk taker..everything else will fall into place in its time. I don't have to have or know all the answers right now. If I am living the most I can in each moment I am living a very full, loving life. So this is what I created to represent that. This was my FIRST time using Polyvore...and now I love it. It has so many possibilities!



Jamie Ridler said...

It's powerful to see how fully you gave yourself to the process, Melinda. You went deep under this Full Snow Moon! And there, under the snow, it seems that you discovered this glittering jewel of the present and created the absolute beauty of your dreamboard.

Here's to your dreams!

iHanna said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and process of making this - I think your dream of being more childlike is SO beautiful, as is your collage and the text you wrote. Wow!

Lisa @sacred circle said...

It's truly an honor to read your post... it's such an outpouring of honesty, and while you may not feel connected to a "dream", you certainly have a lot of passion! How wonderful that you were able to create magic out of what is... simply beautiful... and the dreamboard.... W.O.W!

Helen said...

What a thoughtful exploration of what it means for YOU to dream. Thanks for sharing your process. Here's to your dreamed of state of mind and being!

Rochelle said...

You go girl! I don't think I have "big dreams" either so I got stuck and didn't do a dreamboard this month for many of the reasons that you articulated so beautifully. I love what you created (and I also love Polyvore!).