Let the bitch fest begin. Yes...I am here today to rant and rave!

I am stressed and stretched thin. I am overloaded with work and cannot seem to get any long-term help of any kind. The only help I seem to get is overtime to do the work MYSELF. Which would mean more work for me and the overtime is over now as I can only get it approved for short term. PLUS to be honest I do NOT have any additional spare time to do overtime. I barely can get my 40 hours in lately with me feeling so tired all the time...semi-depressed and stressed.

The house is falling apart around me. No surprise there. I need to work on it this weekend...but sometimes even thinking about it overwhelms you to the point where you don't want to do anything. I suppose making a list and getting a locker are the starts to finishing this long-term project. Then boxing things up really well and moving them to the locker. Then reorganizing things at home and getting ready to sell.

I did manage to sit and pay all my bills early instead of dragging that out. Not that I pay them late but sometimes I wait and do them half one part of the month and the others the next part...etc. I went ahead and just paid everything NOW and even paid some of NEXT month's stuff NOW. WHY NOT?

I have been feeling pretty well except for feeling tired and having a lot of headaches and now my feet and ankles are swelling really bad...so I cannot sit for long periods of time at the PC which is of course my livelihood! I wonder if it is related to my kidneys or menopause, hormones, a combination. WHO knows.

I also have been very confused in my head lately. Cannot seem to think clearly all the time. Chronic lack of sleep probably contributes to that. I am about ready to take an Emergency Family Leave of absence which would freak my boss out now wouldn't it? THEN MAYBE she would be forced to get some additional help? Yeah right. She would probably get someone else to take over my job PERMANENTLY.

Makes you wish you could do something to bring in enough money to not have to worry about working all the time. I cannot imagine what it will be like once Noah starts school back up. We have little time now. MAYBE if I can get all these other extra things done...I will be okay and ready to teach TOO as I will then have things freed up and off the back of my mind.

OKay...a bit depressed. It is my parent's 50th anniversary celebration this weekend. I won't be there of course. My brother and his wife flew in from Florida. First off I don't really want to fly anywhere these days. Driving would be a trip as it would be driving....then there for 1 day and back practically so that was not feasible. BUT the rest will all be getting together and sometimes I do miss family get togethers. We are so freakingly anti-social out here as we don't do anything with ANYONE!!!!! With Noah the way he can be and our schedules and everything else we don't really have any free time anyway I guess. Keith does not do anything with his family and to be honest I don't mind that. His kids can and have been a bit selfish and self-absorbed and don't really contact him anyway unless THEY want something or it is close to their birthday or Christmas. THEN of COURSE we hear from them as they want to know when they will get their present and go out to dinner@! We are NOT raising Noah that way.

Perfect world.....

1)Work all caught up and easy to get done and STAY caught up and my hours in every day
2)Enough sleep
3)The house permanently cleaned up and extra things boxed up and into storage for now so we can finish the redo of the condo to put up for sale
4) Losing all the weight I need to lose and want to lose to be healthy, lean and strong
5)Making sure I am healthy and also not going nuts!
6)Having time to read a book or watch a movie
7)Having time to play with Noah more often
8)Having time to do home schooling with Noah long-term
9)Getting a new home....with plenty of extra space for a class/craft room for Noah and me and an office for work and a garage
10)Being able to sleep 8 hours a night if I want to...and NOT having my back hurt because of it
11)Having time to take care of me (as usual....last on the list)(WHY do we bring women up to think that it is wrong or shelfish to take care of yourself? You NEED to do that in order to take care of everything else better and have something to OFFER someone...I AM A PERFECT example of the "I HAVE TO BE SUPERWOMAN AND DON'T NEED ANYONE ELSE syndrome" crap!)
12)Having more time to write or be artsy/crafty
13)Having time to scrapbook all my photos (I could have my own scrapbook store right now with all the supplies I have...but I have still not yet even started scrapbooking!)
14)Super perfect world would be to still have my income coming in without having to do my job to get it! Yeah right! I don't want to be disabled or anything to qualify for any income like that. I am thankful for my job and I enjoy working and I love what I do. I am just overwhelmed right now.

Okay....I think I feel a bit better. Time for more coffee.