Wreck This Journal....week 10 for me I think.....

This seemed to be an ongoing theme for me this week and moving into this month of August...and I happened to come across this quote and sketch I cut and pasted into my journal.


For the trace your hand page I decided to also have my son put his hand on top of my traced outline of my hand so we would have BOTH our hands on the page. I then went crazy coloring it all in.

My Internal Monologue page is pretty much a repetitive one I have had ongoing in my brain now for a few years. Basically I have weight to lose...I lose about half of what I want to lose....and then I never finish losing the rest of the weight. I know what I need to do.....and I have reasons to do it....but I just never end up completing it. This is extremely troubling to me and nags at me and this is one of the hardest things for me to quiet in my brain. It is funny..when I was really lean and slim I saw myself as fat. Now that I am "obese" I see myself as lean. Not as I truly probably am...or not that bad. I wish to avoid looking back at current photos of me now one day and say "WOW I was so skinny then!" (as this would mean I have gotten even larger...Instead I want to move forward to the completion of my goals I set....achieve them...and look back one day at my photos and say "wow...I cannot believe I ever got that big!" It is a process. That is my motto this year. It's a process...as my whole life and all in it has been and is a "process."

Okay as you will remember this page I wanted to paint the background black and redo my lines with glow in the dark paint. I cannot find my glow in the dark paint and I could not find any locally. SO....I just colored it in with black crayon and went over my lines with yellow marker. so so

After checking the backside of the CUTTING instructions I decided not to cut through my journal as I did not want to destroy the art on the other side. I did decide to add in a picture of something to do with cutting or blood etc. I found this photo of this vampire and I loved it. I love this man's art anyway (Luis Royo) and I want to complete this by adding in dark red velvet ribbon trim on the edges and adding in more black drawings on the black page...as you can tell you CAN see them once you look. I am thinking maybe a big black cat sitting on a fence under that moon. WHITE crayon works really well on black paper I found out to make a really cool moon. SO this is a WORK IN PROGRESS as it is not yet finished.

I found a page from a magazine and I circled some words I really like and want to keep uppermost in my mind. I think I will PRESS a few flowers here on these pages.


I will continue plugging away on my journal. I have a few NEW ideas to try with the journal this next week that I am really excited about. So I will post those results next Friday.

What have YOU wrecked lately?

Wishcasting Wednesday and Full Moon Dreamboard.....

CLICK TO SEE ENLARGED VERSION

This week Jamie over at JAMIE RIDLER STUDIOS prompted us on our Wishcasting Wednesday "WHAT DO YOU WISH TO MAKE ROOM FOR?" For our Full Sturgeon Moon dreamboard this month she provided more food for thought, "It’s a time to savour our blessings and welcome in the abundance that is all around us. With the Moon being in Aquarius it is also a great time to get innovative when it comes to our dreams. As you focus on your dreamboard this month, spend some time brainstorming how you might actively welcome in what you desire."

This got me to thinking. I realized I wanted to make room for BELIEF. AND I realized that in order for me to actively WELCOME in whatever I desire I truly had to believe! Especially in myself...which I think I do pretty well...but apparently if things are not always happening the way I want in my life.....perhaps I still lack in that area a bit. Doubts still creep in which ultimately always mess with my motivation, determination, success.

Since this was the STURGEON moon this month I included a stamp of a STARRY sturgeon....and found an incredible sea face moon......and realized after finding photos from magazines or online....all of them connected to water or fish....the sea.....especially the colors. This all started when I happened to pick up my Victorian Trading Co, new catalog and the woman with the boat and oar standing gazing up at the moon was on the cover. HOW appropriate for the full sturgeon moon! It gradually grew from there.

SO....for me....my wish this week is to BELIEVE! No matter what.....believe in all possibilities.

And with my dreamboard I will welcome in all the possibilities..with belief.

After losing access to my blogs for a couple of days I am back!

There must have been some glitch with Google/Blogger as I and MANY others lost access to our blogs for a couple of days. SO tonight I am thankful for a lot of things.

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

Wreck This Journal Week 9.....(but not the end yet for me!)

Here is what I did this past week. I did have a funeral for my aunt to attend on Thursday and so I had a couple of days where I ended up not being emotionally able to work in my journal. I just felt numb and not like doing anything.

BUT here is what I did so far. I am still going to continue to work on my journal until I actually complete the entire thing......and I will continue to post pics here once a week if you want to come back and check on Fridays. AFTER I complete this journal I have a couple of other projects I will be working on and posting.

SO anyway, Jamie from Jamie Ridler Studios WRECK THIS JOURNAL asked us to think about what we would take away from this project....and I think the main thing I will take away is that it IS possible for me to be creative during my every day life...whether it be in a journal or elsewhere....and it IS possible for me to work on a creative project and actually CREATE something. I DO have the discipline to do it....if I set smaller steps/goals for me to complete. Realizing I have time to create even in a small way helped to satisfy my creative itch and makes me want to do even MORE creating now in other ways too. SO this was like a little stepping stone to get me into something bigger and better next time.

Last year I worked on a DECK OF ME project where I had to complete 1 playing card per week based on a prompt. At the end of a YEAR I had 52 cards completed. I STUCK with that figuring I could surely always manage to do ONE little playing card per week. I DID successfully complete that goal and then I decided to move onto this journal. THINKING it would be a little bigger project.....but still once per week.....and I have done pretty well with it....but am not yet complete. BUT that is okay...I realize I can take as much time as I want to create and I am creating and it will all be finished when it is supposed to be.

I am excited to think about what the next thing will be I create!

So here is what I worked on:

The RUBBINGS page is still a work in progress. Once I finish doing more rubbings I will probably put a background color on the page of some sort....



On this page that little booger picking guy I had drawn before on the other side of the page showed THRU so I decided to incorporate the reverse image of him into this page. When I looked at this page the big black center part I saw as eyes to a big BUMBLEBEE or honeybee.....so that made me think of HONEY ...something sticky. BUT instead of adding the sticky stuff this entire picture came to mind so I decided to color it all in instead USING the reverse see-thru image of the little booger picking guy I had created before.


The negative comments page was sort of easy and yet I struggled with because I work really hard to AVOID negative comments and thoughts now in my brain. SO I discovered something amazing by doing this page. I realized other than a couple of negative things that occasionally still float through my brain I HAVE eliminated most of my negative self-talk. SO that is HUGE! I hesitated on sharing them, but decided to put them out there. OF course with me....I had to find a way to JUSTIFY exposing them and then some way to show I was ELIMINATING even those remaining few....so I came up with the deep sea diver idea and fish EATING all the letters to all the words that occasionally still graced the corners of my mind! I show the diver and fish all working together in the sea of negativity to DESTROY, RIP APART, SHRED, and finally EAT the remaining negative words. I had a lot of fun with this one. See we all can swim in a sea of negative thoughts if we allow it. The letters of the words are BAIT....are you going to take the bite and get caught up in the negativity or find a way to capture the bait and replace it with something positive?


On the FOUR LETTER word page....I found it interesting that dirty four letter words came up so EASILY in my mind. BUT then I realized I wanted to keep my journal on a more positive clean note so I decided to try to come up with only positive four letter words or rhyming words. I then drew a few visuals to go along with those.


Doodle over the page.....I found myself again doing something SEA related. I have a lot of SEA/WATER related pages I have colored in this journal. I am sure that means something. haha Not sure I will add more to these pages, but I might. I like the color and the simplicity of it so far.


I also glued in a magazine and newspaper section in my journal which I will post later. I did not have time to add that to this week and I have enough here I think for now.

What did YOU wreck this week???

working on my Wreck This Journal.........

and more. Have not felt great the last few days so I have gravitated to working on the journal. I will post pics of all I have done on Friday.

Otherwise......here are my veggies from my garden so far. Some wonderful grape tomatoes and green peppers......and onions! I have a ton of onions and tomatoes coming on!

to be free and happy and not afraid to show it - this wedding entrance says it all!

Wreck This Journal: Week 8??

(I added this John Waterhouse painting "The Crystal Ball" image to my inside front cover - yet another image with a crystal ball and mystical theme...this happened a lot this week!)

Well I have been working in my journal feverishly. I really enjoy this journal and will continue to work on it and post my progress long after the official end of this group blogging project as I am no where near finished and I imagine it will take me awhile to complete. I have enjoyed this journal so much I long ago purchased 2 other books from the same author Keri Smith, "Living Out Loud" and "Guerilla Art Kit" which I cannot wait to get started in as well!





Here is what I have been "wrecking" this week. You will have to CLICK on any photos to enlarge them if you want.

This is my SIGN page....I swear any time I am not wanting to step out of my comfort zone this mantra goes through my mind. I have found it much easier to try most anything now when I just remember "JUST DO IT!"


This is my CRUMPLED PAGE that I first drew on a pic of an old woman....and colored it all in. Then I crumpled the paper hoping it would make her skin look old...everything look old and textured. She then turned into more of a Chinese-gypsy appearing woman. Very odd. I DO love the background...but was a little disappointed with the actual drawing and colors of it. I then took the page and glued it into the back inside cover/flap and colored in a page next to it with a similar theme.


OKAY...I don't really have THAT MUCH pocket lint so I decided to use DRYER LINT. I then imagined it would make cute little sheep so I decorated a page to look sort of like a farm and glued my little sheep onto it.


I LOVE Christmas and SNOW and the SMELL of Christmas trees so I infused this page with the scent of Christmas trees! I also incorporated a cover from one of my favorite books....Narnia,"The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe"


OH yes YUMMY! I got this photo of ERIC from TRUE BLOOD from a future calendar coming out ...yes ladies he will be the MONTH OF JANUARY. I had to add Miss Snow WHITE near all his "essentials" and of course placed the apple just "SO"....and then I added more WHITE things on the other page and added a lot of WHITE GLITTER! Yes I love glitter.


On my PUNCH HOLES page I DID punch holes and then realized it resembled STARS so I colored in a background to look like a sparkly sky and added a gyspy image and then more yes...GLITTER to make it all sparkly. This also seemed to seal up some of the holes but I do like how it turned out. Reminds me of Vincent van Gogh's "Starry, Starry Night" wich I LOVE. I then kept with the theme and added a mystical gypsy with crystal ball and colored that in and added a bit of sparkle to her as well.


WORK IN PROGRESS. NO I did no cheat I really was able to reconnect the balls without looking. BUT then it reminded me of planets..so I glued planets on the page. NOW I want to paint the background BLACK and REDO the connecting process with GLOW IN THE DARK PAINT! SO this is not finished yet.


I guess I had GYPSIES on the brain this week as I found another cool image to add to my cover...also a WORK IN PROGRESS......


AND that's all FOLKS...at least until next Friday.

What have you wrecked this week? AS always you can check my sidebar for links to all these projects.....

Wreck This Journal: Week 7??? (CLICK PHOTOS TO ENLARGE)

After a couple of weeks of not really working in my journal much this past week I found myself working on it every night. I got a book on CD from our local library and after doing dishes every evening and making a pot of coffee I would turn the book on and bring out my journal stuff and sit and listen to the book being read as I worked on my journal pages. I found working in my journal this week extremely soothing. Working with crayons totally soothes me...I love it. Almost all the stuff I have done in my journal so far has been done with crayons or crayon pencils. I should call it my crayon journal!

Anyway....here are some of the pages I have worked on and a few I have started on, but not yet finished.


WORK IN PROGRESS:
I only STARTED redoing the cover and back. I found some old Victorian
Images I wanted to add to the front and backside. I also
want to add more and then DECOUPAGE the front and back covers.
I want to make them thick, sturdy, and chunky! Like a hard back book.
PLUS I have discovered things do not want to stick to the slick cover so
decoupage should remedy that.


I wrote on the sides "ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE LOVE LOVE!"



On the "Create a nonstop line" page I always read it as "Create a nonstop LIFE" which was a subliminal subconscious weird thing.
SO, I decided I could do a map of my life.
If you click on it and blow it up...you will learn some interesting facts about me.
(OF NOTE, this is a CONDENSED MINI version). AND even though this may be a bit too revealing....it has become one of my favorite pages too.


On the drawing something ugly/nasty I could only think of a kid eating boogers.


WORK IN PROGRESS: I know I will do more to this page. I tried chewing it. The paper tasted NASTY!!


WORK IN PROGRESS:
Once I started drawing these circles...I could not stop. Then I started seeing faces on the blue page, little round faces all bundled up in snow suits and furry hoods. SO I started to draw that. The other side was a sunnier background so I ended up making those flower faces. I will probably add SNOW to the blue page as it seems "wintry" to me and green stems to the sunny flowery page. This I think has become one of my favorite pages.


I decided to document my 4th of July cookout dinner with my family that was also my birthday dinner (as well as 2 of my sisters' birthdays albeit belated). I had taken my journal with me and then added some things to it later.

OKAY...when I first got the journal I was thrilled to see a "LEAVE THIS PAGE BLANK ON PURPOSE" in the book. NOW that I have been working in the journal I found I could NOT leave it blank. I found this cute little girl cut out to add to the page...cause I could not resist. She faces the "CRACK THE SPINE" page I did and her expression was just like mine was when I had to initially even think about cracking the spine of this book!"

These pages reminded me of old school....so I added some school images ..sort of. I also did a #13 on the number page and added a black cat. Most people do not like the number 13 but I love it. AND Halloween...which this then sort of reminded me of.




One word always in my mind....LOVE


My "Draw with glue" page sucks. I am very disappointed in it. I tried using a cheap glitter glue that was nasty. I scraped it off I don't know how many times. I doubt I will go anything more to this unless I get some better ideas!


I added some more to the "Ask a friend to do something destructive to this page" page...I had already posted this last week showing the tire treads but I added more to it.


AND of course I did a real-time VIDEO of taking my journal into the shower with me...a couple of posts before this one if you have not yet seen it. IT did turn out pretty funny. I never thought I would be able to do that, but I did! ONCE in the shower with me I also shaved it and gave it a spa treatment!


For anyone wishing to see that post you can go here:

SHOWER SCENE

So that's it for this week. I am also working on many other pages, but I figured this was enough to post for this week!

What have YOU wrecked today??

Wreck This Journal: Week 6

I have had an emotional whirlwind week and 2 days with a really bad migraine so this post will be short and sweet. I went to my parents' house for the 4th of July for a cookout and to celebrate my birthday (July 5th) and 2 of my sisters' birthdays (June 1 and June 27) and Father's Day...all in one big party. I took my Wreck This Journal with me for the day figuring an opportunity to have someone else do something to my journal might occur. My sisters all saw my Wreck This Journal postings on my blog so they now also each have their own journal and my 9-year-old niece has one as well. A couple of them also brought their journals.

It was funny to see at what stages each of us are in regards to our journals. My youngest sister and her daughter are not too comfortable with too much actual "wrecking" yet in their journals and my poor little niece was horrified to find out while she was in the other room her cousin and aunt took her journal and put gum in it and licked the pages with their chocolate coated tongues. They also set fire to the "BURN THIS PAGE" page...and I mean they set it on fire. BUT she recovered pretty quickly.

I found it interesting that the 2 sisters who did not take their journals to the party were the ones most willing to do the most destruction to someone else's journal ....while apparently neither one of them have done much if anything yet to their own.

My next to the youngest sister refuses to crack the spine in her journal and says she now thinks most of the things in the journal are just "dumb" and "senseless."

I have made huge progress with my journal....and while there volunteered my journal to my nephew to do something destructive to it....so he decided to run over it with the car. Here is a short snippet of that ....you can see my youngest sister in the video after the car runs over the journal horrified to see tread marks on the journal and the damaged journal on the ground.

It was cool that day....mid to lower 60s and raining. Not very typical Fourth of July weather but wonderful to me. The tread marks in the journal I think are actually beautiful and I may do something artsy to them later this weekend.

Have a great weekend!

WiSHCASTING WEDNESDAY!! Full Buck Moon July 7, 2009! AWESOME raspberry colored moon!

as the moon came up last night it was raspberry in color....did you all manage to see it? WOW...it was incredible. Here is a glimpse:



It was awesome! SO LARGE and SO RASPBERRY in color!! A few Indian tribes have also called the Full Buck Moon "Full Blood Moon" or "Raspberry Moon" or even "Red Berries Moon" because when it rises it appears reddish in color. I could not believe I had the chance to see this moon exactly like that as it first rose last night!

The Full Buck Moon is known as such because it is the time when buck deer sprout velvety new antlers. It can also be known as the "Full Thunder Moon" because thunderstorms are more frequent during this month. It symbolizes a time of harvesting and enjoyment of crops of the season. To some this is the "Blessing Moon". Energy moves into creation. Opportunities for self-reliance and confidence, unity and balance abound. It can also be known as the "Hay Moon" or "Meadow Moon" because the meadows are at their greatest point of growth in this month and it is a time for hay cutting. Some have even called it "Ripe Corn Moon," "Herb Moon," "Grass Cutter Moon, and "Hungry Ghost Moon."

Today on Wishcasting Wednesday, I would like to make a special wish for Jamie Ridler and her new website for her studio....you can find it here JAMIE RIDLER STUDIOS

Go check it out for wonderful creative inspiration and guidance to open the door to your own creativity and growth!

With the wonderful Full Buck Moon backing you this week Jamie I wish you success and a smooth transition to your new creative home!

Full Buck Moon Dreamboard, July 7, 2009

Full Buck Moon Dreamboard, July 7, 2009, originally uploaded by racham.

I want to focus on my energy, power, and strength.... MUSCLE....this month......

it's all about building up.....strengthening.......receiving for me this month. Asserting myself in many more masculine areas in my life.

here is what the full buck moon looked like last night....I went out and took some pictures! I included a smaller image of it on my dreamboard!

Wreck This Journal.....Week 5: The Shower Scene.....

Yes...this is the week I decided to take my journal into the shower with me. I did not have any free time to work in the journal otherwise...and I had already decided I would do the shower challenge this week last week...so that was my goal. I made 2 videos of what happened. The first one here is the longer version....where you can hear everything I say and the entire process (minus my nudity!).....if you don't have approximately 7 minutes to spare...you can choose the second video which is a condensed version and only about 2-1/2 minutes...but you won't hear much of what I have to say. The choice is yours. I am happy with the results and of myself this week!!





the shorter slightly different version....

I LOVE Russian animation!

If subtitles appear to be missing: Click on the triangle at the bottom right of the video, and make sure that CC is turned on. Russian animation from 2006. "Kolobok" is a traditional East Slavic fairy tale very similar to "The Gingerbread Man". This film expands on it a little. Our protagonist lives a life of estrangement.

Wishcasting Wednesday......What Do You Wish To Nurture?

I have three of wishes.....

1. I wish to nurture my heart. I have realized over the past week I do not demand proper care of it from others or myself. This is unacceptable and has to change. So I wish to learn to nurture it as the fragile living, feeling, organ it is...and learn to command the same treatment from others who reportedly love me.

2. I wish to nurture my financial situation. I need to get out of credit card debt. As a single mom of an autistic son, I was only able to work part-time when I originally moved back here to my home state 3 years ago to be closer to my family because of divorce. I quickly depleted my savings and had to charge many things for a few years to basically make up the difference in the other half of income I was not making during that time. I work from home and also home-school my son....and I make a lot less now than I did before...though I have finally started to work full-time again from home. BUT the credit card debt is just suffocating me...us. I want and need to get out from under it as the remaining money I make would be MORE than sufficient to have a good life and actually even save money. Blah, blah, blah...I am sure many are in similar situations now even due to the economy. Without going into all sorts of details and/or feeling sorry for me crap......I just need to improve my INcome situation to make enough extra to continue to pay off my credit card debt easily so we can survive on our own with the remaining money each month. It is touch and go again this month....

3. I wish to nurture truth. I am all about truth. I always have been. It bothers me to see others who do not hold this value as highly as I do. It is very disturbing to find people online who in the end are not who they try to appear to be. I am pretty much what you see is what you get and upfront and straightforward about who I am. I don't wish to play head games with myself or others. I wish to be surrounded by truth and truth-loving people.