IF you would like to support an end to the Iraq war go here...no one says you have to do it...

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Iraq War De-Escalation Act of 2007


SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

This Act may be cited as the `Iraq War De-Escalation Act of 2007'.
SEC. 2. FINDINGS AND PURPOSES.

(a) Findings- Congress makes the following findings:

(1) Congress and the Nation honor the courage, sacrifices, and efforts of the members of the Armed Forces of the United States and their families.

(2) In his speech to the Nation on January 10, 2007, President George W. Bush said that `I've made it clear to the Prime Minister and Iraq's other leaders that America's commitment is not open-ended. If the Iraqi government does not follow through on its promises, it will lose the support of the American people. . . The Prime Minister understands this'.

(3) In that speech, President George W. Bush also told the Nation that `America will hold the Iraqi government to the benchmarks it has announced. . . [T]o take responsibility for security in all of Iraq's provinces by November. To give every Iraqi citizen a stake in the country's economy, Iraq will pass legislation to share oil revenues among all Iraqis. To show that it is committed to delivering a better life, the Iraqi government will spend $10,000,000,000 of its own money on reconstruction and infrastructure projects that will create new jobs. To empower local leaders, Iraqis plan to hold provincial elections later this year. And to allow more Iraqis to re-enter their nation's political life, the government will reform de-Baathification laws, and establish a fair process for considering amendments to Iraq's constitution'.

(4) In that speech, President George W. Bush also told the Nation that `only Iraqis can end the sectarian violence and secure their people'.

(5) On December 18, 2006, former Secretary of State Colin Powell stated: `[s]o we have tried this surge of troops over the summer. I am not persuaded that another surge of troops in Baghdad for the purpose of suppressing this communitarian violence, this civil war, will work'.

(6) On November 15, 2006, General John Abizaid, Commander of the United States Central Command, stated before the Committee on Armed Services of the Senate that `I met with every divisional commander, General Casey, the corps commander, General Dempsey. We all talked together. And I said, in your professional opinion, if we were to bring in more American troops now, does it add considerably to our ability to achieve success in Iraq? And they all said no. And the reason is, because we want the Iraqis to do more. It's easy for the Iraqis to rely upon us to do this work. I believe that more American forces prevent the Iraqis from doing more, from taking more responsibility for their own future'.

(7) In testimony before the Committee on Foreign Relations of the Senate on January 11, 2007, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice stated that unless the Government of Iraq has met certain benchmarks and reestablishes the confidence of the Iraqi people over the next several months, `this plan is not going to work'.

(8) In a statement on January 11, 2007, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates stated `[a]nd we will probably have a better view a couple of months from now in terms of whether we are making headway in terms of getting better control of Baghdad, with the Iraqis in the lead and with the Iraqis beginning to make better progress on the reconciliation process'.

(9) The bipartisan Iraq Study Group headed by former Secretary of State James Baker and former Representative Lee Hamilton reached a bipartisan consensus on 79 separate recommendations for a new approach in Iraq. Among those recommendations were calling for a new diplomatic offensive in the region and conditioning American economic assistance to Iraq on specific benchmarks, with the expectation that `by the first quarter of 2008, subject to unexpected developments in the security situation on the ground, all combat brigades not necessary for force protection could be out of Iraq'.

(10) In reaction to the speech of President George W. Bush of January 10, 2007, former Secretary of State Baker and former Representative Hamilton wrote that `[t]he President did not suggest the possibility of a transition that could enable U.S. combat forces to begin to leave Iraq. The President did not state that political, military, or economic support for Iraq would be conditional on the Iraq government's ability to meet benchmarks. Within the region, the President did not announce an international support group for Iraq including all of Iraq's neighbors. . .'.

(b) Purposes- The purposes of this Act are as follows:

(1) To formulate and provide for the implementation of an effective United States policy towards Iraq and the Middle East region that employs military, political, diplomatic, and economic assets to promote and protect the national security interests of the United States.

(2) To provide for the implementation of a responsible, phased redeployment of the Armed Forces of the United States from Iraq in a substantial and gradual manner that places the highest priority on protecting the lives of members of the Armed Forces and civilian personnel of the United States and on promoting the national security interests of the United States in the Middle East region.

(3) To urge the political parties and leaders of Iraq to reach the political solution necessary to promote stability in Iraq and enhance the safety of innocent Iraqi civilians.

(4) To condition future economic assistance to the Government of Iraq on significant progress toward the achievement of political and economic measures to be taken by the Government of Iraq.

(5) To provide for the initiation of a wider and sustained diplomatic strategy aimed at promoting a political settlement in Iraq, thereby ending the civil war in Iraq, preventing a humanitarian catastrophe in Iraq, and preventing a wider regional conflict.

(6) To provide, through sections 4 through 7, for the implementation of key recommendations of the Iraq Study Group, a bipartisan panel of experts co-chaired by former Secretary of State James Baker and former Representative Lee Hamilton.
SEC. 3. APPROPRIATE FORCE LEVELS FOR UNITED STATES MILITARY FORCES IN IRAQ.

Notwithstanding any other provision of law, the levels of the Armed Forces of the United States in Iraq after the date of the enactment of this Act shall not exceed the levels of such forces in Iraq as of January 10, 2007, without specific authority in statute enacted by Congress after the date of the enactment of this Act.
SEC. 4. REDEPLOYMENT OF UNITED STATES MILITARY FORCES FROM IRAQ.

(a) Redeployment-

(1) DEADLINE FOR COMMENCEMENT OF REDEPLOYMENT- Except as otherwise provided in this section, the phased redeployment of the Armed Forces of the United States from Iraq shall commence not later than May 1, 2007.

(2) SCOPE AND MANNER OF REDEPLOYMENT- The redeployment of the Armed Forces under this section shall be substantial, shall occur in a gradual manner, and shall be executed at a pace to achieve the goal of the complete redeployment of all United States combat brigades from Iraq by March 31, 2008, consistent with the expectation of the Iraq Study Group, if all the matters set forth in subsection (b)(1)(B) are not met by such date, subject to the exceptions for retention of forces for force protection, counter-terrorism operations, training of Iraqi forces, and other purposes as contemplated by subsection (g).

(3) FORMULATION OF PLAN WITH MILITARY COMMANDERS- The redeployment of the Armed Forces under this section should be conducted pursuant to a plan formulated by United States military commanders that is developed, if practicable, in consultation with the Government of Iraq.

(4) PROTECTION OF UNITED STATES FORCES AND CIVILIAN PERSONNEL- In carrying out the redeployment of the Armed Forces under this section, the highest priority shall be afforded to the safety of members of the Armed Forces and civilian personnel of the United States in Iraq.

(b) Suspension of Redeployment-

(1) IN GENERAL- The President may suspend, on a temporary basis as provided in paragraph (2), the redeployment of the Armed Forces under this section if the President certifies to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives that--

(A) doing so is in the national security interests of the United States; and

(B) the Government of Iraq--

(i) has lifted all restrictions concerning non-interference in operations of the Armed Forces of the United States in Iraq and does so on a continuing basis;

(ii) is making significant progress in reducing sectarian violence in Iraq and in reducing the size and operational effectiveness of sectarian militias in Iraq;

(iii) is making significant progress towards removing militia elements from the Iraqi Army, National Police, Facilities Protection Services, and other security forces of the Government of Iraq;

(iv) has enacted legislation or established other binding mechanisms to ensure the sharing of all Iraqi oil revenues among all segments of Iraqi society in an equitable manner;

(v) is making significant progress towards making available not less than $10,000,000,000 for reconstruction, job creation, and economic development in Iraq, with safeguards to prevent corruption, by January 10, 2008;

(vi) has deployed at least 18 Iraqi Army and National Police brigades to Baghdad and is effectively ensuring that such units are performing their security and police functions in all Baghdad neighborhoods, regardless of their sectarian composition;

(vii) has enacted legislation or established other binding mechanisms to revise its de-Baathification laws to encourage the employment in the Government of Iraq of qualified Iraqi professionals, irrespective of ethnic or political affiliation, including ex-Baathists who were not leading figures of the Saddam Hussein regime;

(viii) has established a fair process for considering amendments to the constitution of Iraq that promote lasting national reconciliation in Iraq;

(ix) is making significant progress towards assuming full responsibility for security in all the provinces of Iraq by November 30, 2007;

(x) is making significant progress towards holding free and fair provincial elections in Iraq at the earliest date practicable, but not later than December 31, 2007;

(xi) is making substantial progress towards increasing the size and effectiveness of Ministry of Defense forces as described on page 11 of `Highlights of the Iraq Strategy Review' published by the National Security Council in January 2007;

(xii) is making significant progress in reforming and strengthening the civilian ministries and other government institutions that support the Iraqi Army and National Police; and

(xiii) is making significant progress towards reforming its civilian ministries to ensure that they are not administered on a sectarian basis and that government services are delivered in an even-handed and non-sectarian manner.

(2) PERIOD OF SUSPENSION- A suspension of the redeployment of the Armed Forces under this subsection, including any renewal of the suspension under paragraph (3), shall be for a period not to exceed 90 days.

(3) RENEWAL- A suspension of the redeployment of the Armed Forces under this subsection may be renewed. Any such renewal shall include a certification to the officers referred to in paragraph (1) on the matters set forth in clauses (i) through (xiii) of subparagraph (B) of that paragraph.

(c) Disapproval of Suspension-

(1) DISAPPROVAL- If Congress enacts a joint resolution disapproving the suspension of the redeployment of the Armed Forces under subsection (b), or any renewal of the suspension, the suspension shall be discontinued, and the redeployment of the Armed Forces from Iraq under this section shall resume.

(2) PROCEDURES FOR CONSIDERATION OF JOINT RESOLUTIONS-

(A) JOINT RESOLUTION DEFINED- For purposes of this subsection, the term `joint resolution' means only a joint resolution introduced not later than 10 days after the date on which a certification of the President under subsection (b) is received by Congress, the matter after the resolving clause of which is as follows: `That Congress disapproves the certification of the President submitted to Congress under section 4(b) of the Iraq War De-Escalation Act of 2007, on XXXXXXX.', the blank space being filled in with the appropriate date.

(B) PROCEDURES- A joint resolution described in paragraph (1) shall be considered in a House of Congress in accordance with the procedures applicable to joint resolutions under paragraphs (3) through (8) of section 8066(c) of the Department of Defense Appropriations Act, 1985 (as enacted by section 101(h) of Public Law 98-473; 98 Stat. 1936).

(d) Reports to Congress-

(1) IN GENERAL- Not later than 90 days after the date of the enactment of this Act, and every 90 days thereafter, the President shall submit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives a report describing and assessing--

(A) the progress made by the Government of Iraq on each of the matters set forth in subsection (b)(1)(B); and

(B) the progress of the redeployment required by subsection (a).

(2) FORM- Each report under this subsection shall be submitted in unclassified form, but may include a classified annex.

(e) Sense of Congress on Location of Redeployment- It is the sense of Congress that, in redeploying the Armed Forces from Iraq under this section, appropriate units of the Armed Forces should be redeployed--

(1) to the United States;

(2) to Afghanistan, in order to enhance United States military operations in that country;

(3) elsewhere in the region, to serve as an over-the-horizon force to prevent the conflict in Iraq from becoming a wider war, to reassure allies of the United States of the commitment of the United States to remain engaged in the region, and to position troops to strike directly at al-Qaeda; and

(4) elsewhere, to meet urgent United States security needs.

(f) Political Solution in Iraq- The United States should use the redeployment of the Armed Forces under this section, and the possible suspension of such redeployment if the benchmarks set forth in subsection (b) are met, as a tool to press the Iraqi leaders to promote national reconciliation among ethnic and religious groups in Iraq in order to establish stability in Iraq.

(g) Retention of Certain Forces in Iraq-

(1) IN GENERAL- Notwithstanding the requirement for the redeployment of the Armed Forces under subsection (a) and subject to the provisions of this subsection, personnel of the Armed Forces of the United States may be in Iraq after the completion of the redeployment of the Armed Forces under this section for the following purposes:

(A) To protect United States personnel and facilities in Iraq.

(B) To conduct targeted counter-terrorism operations.

(C) To provide training for Iraqi security forces.

(D) To conduct the routine functions of the Office of Defense Attache.

(2) CERTIFICATION- Personnel of the Armed Forces may not be retained in Iraq under this subsection unless the President certifies to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives that--

(A) the retention of the Armed Forces in Iraq is necessary for one or more of the purposes set forth in paragraph (1); and

(B) the utilization of Armed Forces positioned outside Iraq could not result in the effective achievement of such purpose or purposes.

(3) DISAPPROVAL OF RETENTION- If Congress enacts a joint resolution disapproving the retention of personnel of the Armed Forces in Iraq under this subsection, or any renewal of the retention, the retention of such personnel in Iraq shall be discontinued, and such personnel shall be redeployed from Iraq.

(4) PROCEDURES FOR CONSIDERATION OF JOINT RESOLUTIONS-

(A) JOINT RESOLUTION DEFINED- For purposes of paragraph (3), the term `joint resolution' means only a joint resolution introduced not later than 10 days after the date on which a certification of the President under paragraph (2) is received by Congress, the matter after the resolving clause of which is as follows: `That Congress disapproves the certification of the President submitted to Congress under section 4(g)(2) of the Iraq War De-Escalation Act of 2007, on XXXXXXX.', the blank space being filled in with the appropriate date.

(B) PROCEDURES- A joint resolution described in subparagraph (A) shall be considered in a House of Congress in accordance with the procedures applicable to joint resolutions under paragraphs (3) through (8) of section 8066(c) of the Department of Defense Appropriations Act, 1985 (as enacted by section 101(h) of Public Law 98-473; 98 Stat. 1936).

(h) No Permanent Bases- Congress hereby reaffirms section 1519 of the John Warner National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2007 (Public Law 109-364; 120 Stat. 2444), and related provisions of law, that prohibit the establishment of military installations or bases for the purpose of providing for the permanent stationing of United States Armed Forces in Iraq.
SEC. 5. INTENSIFICATION OF TRAINING OF IRAQI SECURITY FORCES.

It shall be the policy of the United States to immediately formulate and implement a plan that--

(1) with the Government of Iraq--

(A) removes militia elements from the Iraqi Army, National Police, and other security forces of the Government of Iraq; and

(B) puts such forces in charge of maintaining security in Iraq;

(2) focuses and intensifies United States efforts on training such forces; and

(3) presses the Government of Iraq to reform the civilian ministries and other government institutions that support the Iraqi Army, National Police, local police, and judicial system.
SEC. 6. AVAILABILITY OF ECONOMIC ASSISTANCE FOR IRAQ.

(a) Limitation- Except as provided in subsection (b), after May 1, 2007, economic assistance may be furnished to the Government of Iraq only if the President submits to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives a certification that the Government of Iraq--

(1) is making measurable progress toward providing not less than $10,000,000,000 of Iraqi funds for reconstruction, job creation, and economic development in Iraq, with safeguards to prevent corruption, by January 10, 2008;

(2) is making progress toward meeting the conditions set forth in the International Compact for Iraq and in the stand-by agreement with the International Monetary Fund; and

(3) is making progress toward reducing sectarian violence and promoting national reconciliation.

(b) Exceptions- The limitation in subsection (a) shall not apply to assistance for Iraq as follows:

(1) Humanitarian assistance.

(2) Assistance to address urgent security and employment needs.

(c) Assessment of Progress- Not later than 90 days after the date of the enactment of this Act, and every 90 days thereafter, the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction shall submit to Congress a report describing the progress of the Government of Iraq on each matter set forth in subsection (a).
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that's it!!

I got my scales out today. One of those many things I have put off doing for a long time.....sorta the same feeling you get when it is time to sit down and pay your bills and such. A little apprehensive...something you don't want to do.

I was doing well this past year.....and somewhere along the way I got depressed and slacked off.

WELL NO FREAKIN more!! I got my damn scales out and weighed myself and LEFT the scales out where I will see them every freakin day. I am NOT going to eat CRAP anymore because that only makes my body look and feel like crap and there is a Melinda inside here FUCKING screaming to be let back out. I am responsible for taking care of myself....something I used to pride myself on. Somewhere along the way I let MELINDA die. I am done with that fucking shit!

SO......good food...PLENTY of exercise.....no crap...no shit....I am done with all that. Things are going to be changing and changing very quickly!

My Gazelle is coming back out of the closet to stay (unless I have company and I can slide it back in there)......otherwise...it remains out. Noah even likes to use it.

I am determined...and anyone who knows me well enough knows once I get to this point...there will BE NO FREAKING STOPPING ME.

so look out......cause MELINDA will be coming back out very soon dammit!!

maybe the landlord reads my blog because Chester has made a miraculous recovery and will be out today!

handyman Chester has the flu....so no plumbing issues will be fixed today.....or tomorrow for that matter...he has to get better first

blind...

powered by ODEO
I am amazed at how blind one can be
What one cannot ... or refuses to see
Holding your head up so high must get tiring
I don't know but maybe you've got special wiring

You continue to go forth in your daily routine
Looking down on most others, which I think is quite mean
Refusing to see what is obvious to all
You snort and you gloat and you put up that wall

You honestly think it's not you spoken of
It couldn't possibly be, so you give it a shove
Right off of your back and out of your sight
Not beginning to realize your perilous plight

Another day passes and another day more
You find yourself still pacing that floor
Wondering out loud to all who will listen
Who's fault could it be? Not you, you have risen

Too far above us to see it as clearly
Something so close that you hold so dearly
Perhaps you should look a little bit nearer
Or better yet, go downtown and buy a damn mirror.

Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

continued plumbing issues...

so today I decided to do a load of laundry....knowing full well as the water would spin out it would back up into my tub. I forgot it also backs up into the toilet and it will overflow if you are not in there to make sure it does not. Thankfully I was standing there.

this is for the birds. I called the landlord back who is now back in Florida. I asked him "were you ever going to send someone over to check the plumbing problems?" His response:

"I DID NOT KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO." followed by giggling. WTF????

I reminded him of our last phone conversation about 10 days ago? 2 weeks? on a Friday night when the tub and toilet were both overflowing and how he had said he would be by the next day with someone to check it out. OR send a plumber on MONDAY. NONE of those things ever happened. I have made do since....trying to time taking a shower or giving Noah a bath or doing small loads of laundry and flushing ever since. It is impossible. The water always gets backed up......we always end up with the same problems. I have plunged....I have used Liquid Plumber...this is a much more serious problem I think than that. One probably requiring a snake or something else.

On a good note, Noah woke me up saying his upper side tooth was so loose he wanted me to pull it out! I DID! YEAH! NOW if we can remove the other 4 loose teeth in his mouth, especially his top front teeth we will be good to go!

Not sure how I will finish the laundry. EVEN if I do it will take all day for the tub to drain out. That means weird toileting till then....

and such is my life for now...

complacent...

Rump roast, mashed potatoes, and gravy on Sundays, every Sunday...
...because it's always been that way

Looking to try something new.....always looking...
...yet buying the same stuff

Fixing it time and time again, going to bed thinking...
...maybe tomorrow will be different

But tomorrow comes...you get busy... and forget

The carambola you've never tasted...
The trip you've never taken...
The call you've never made...
The chance you were afraid of...
The life you could have had...

So you keep on rocking... thinking and rocking
Till you become too old to move the chair

Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Gil Marosi - Rocking Chair

monday....president's day...

Melissa called and invited me and Noah over to visit and a movie. Of course everything that could happen to prevent me from getting there did. I had taken a shower this morning and of course since the plumbing issue is not yet fixed.....before I left the toilet was almost overflowing....because the water in the drain was backed up again. So it took me awhile to get that under control. So that made us late for our original movie start time. We changed it. The back route to her house was a little to be desired on our side.....so it took longer to get there and we had to change the movie time again. Maybe we should have taken all those things as indications to skip the movie. Noah got to see a train and play with Audrey and had more fun with just that than the movie. He had a trying day today where a lot of things just made him want to whine and cry.

BUT...the movie was Bridge to Terabithia and we had expected a lot of special effects....where the kids spent a LOT of time in Terabithia. I have not read the book before......and I am not sure now that I would though the book looks a lot better than the movie was. The movie was okay but extremely long and drawn out. It was one of those where you keep sitting there asking yourself "when will it get to the good parts?" I was hoping to see a movie where I could escape reality for a couple of hours. Well...that never happened. I would give the movie a

Well...the "good parts" are very brief and fleeting and to be honest the trailer you have seen on TV is the best part......and the ending. Otherwise......it actually was a bit depressing of a movie.....and rather long and tedious for kids......well.....even for adults.

I did see a man holding a woman in his lap......they were snuggled up so nice and cozy together watching that movie. He had nice arms wrapped around her.....(yeah so I watched more of them than the movie). BUT.....it made me just wish I had that......and of course I don't.....so....that was tough.

BUT.......lucky her! What a way to see a movie.......curled up in the nice big arms of a man you obviously love! I want that for me .......I will have that one day.......damnit

a nice big man too....

seclusion in blue

The silence is so still, so soft, so subtle...
Yet it deafens my ears with its screams

The isolation is obscure, invisible, faint...
Yet it chokes my last breath as I draw it

The desire is intense, passionate, overpowering...
Yet lies idle at my feet like an old dog

Waiting to be petted...

Touched...

Loved...

Noticed

Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Yahoo Images

loneliness and depression...a continuing lesson

I can understand loneliness and depression. If they gave out a degree in the course I would most certainly be awarded top honors. As I sit here typing in the seclusion of my room, mug of coffee at my side, still in my pajamas, white bright light is trying to burst through my drawn blinds. Outside the house is surrounded by a wintery blizzard dumping of snow, making it difficult to even open my front door. Winter, isolation, seclusion, aloneness, depression. I see a most familiar pattern emerging. Oh I forgot restlessness...how could I forget restlessness?

Today seems especially futile to me. That feeling scares me to death. It reminds me of how I felt when I attempted suicide years ago. No, I do not want to kill myself or die now. But, the way you can feel, which can lead to action is what I have been fighting off recently. It is exhausting. The inner emotional turmoil and tricks the voices in your head try to play against each other are probably about as close to madness as one can get without actually being mad. No, I am not schizophrenic. I am talking about those inner voices we all have, that we replay over and over and over again in our minds each and every day. Thousands of repetitions of unfortunately, usually negative thoughts. I wonder why that is. Why does it seem to be so easy for your inner voice to repeat negative phrases to you to knock your own self worth than positive affirmations? It takes great effort to be able to repeat positive phrases to oneself over and over on any given day. It is a conscious effort, whereas the other negative thoughts just seem to ramble at whim very freely.

I have done nothing lately but deep, intense self-reflection. I guess that happens a lot during winter when there is little else one can do. I have looked at my life as it was, as it is now, and what it might be like one day in the future. I do not wonder how I got to the point where I am now because I already know. I have realized I currently live a very isolated life with does not help loneliness or depression. In fact, they all feed voraciously off each other, creating a huge snowball effect, which enhances their powers over you.

It is strange sometimes to see how I react when I am alone. I used to crave being alone....could not wait to move out on my own and live alone. Funny, when you are finally alone, you usually end up not wanting to be, because you suddenly realize just how alone you really are.

Some would say I am not alone because I have a son. Well my son for the most part prefers staying in his own world better than sometimes being in mine. I can't say I blame him. His world has a gloriously controlled environment. Nothing there is unpredictable. He is surrounded only by things that make him happy and keep him calm. So while he is here, unless I step into his world or drag him out of his into mine, we live together yet separate in many ways.

I had a pizza delivered last night for my son for supper, and while I am friendly, I also realized I must really be semi-desperately lonely, to want to strike up a fairly long conversation with the delivery man. As I watched him drive away I could have almost cried. How freaking sick is that? It reminded me of my mother and how "friendly" and "talkative" she always seemed to be, even to complete strangers when we were growing up. Looking back on it now I have to wonder if she did that because she herself was lonely? Was she depressed with her life? I know she did not and could not talk to my dad about things. They just did not ever seem to have that type of relationship. Was she starving for companionship surrounded by a husband and 5 children? If so, that is intense loneliness at its best. So it is very possible to be surrounded by people and still remain very much alone.

As I sat at the kitchen table eating my own supper while my son was in his room eating his, I was slapped again with the realization of just how "alone" I was. I find it interesting that the older I get the more frightening or disturbing that seems to become to me. I am puzzled by that. It is not that I do not like my own company. I do. But I am a sharer. Most things in my life just seem to hold little enjoyment or meaning unless I can actually share them with someone else. As with most humans, I too long for the actual presence of another. Sharing a meal, great conversation over a steaming mug of coffee, an article, movie, our thoughts, dreams, desires, hopes, fears, would be huge. I have also realized the friends I had before don't seem to be free anymore. I know everyone can get busy with their own lives. But I miss having someone I can call up to talk with or invite over for dinner and a chat or for a cookout and afterwards just sitting outside well into the dark listening to the crickets chirp as the moon and stars shine overhead. And let's not even get started on the lost intimate aspects associated with loneliness.

Sure I could do what most of us do during times like these. I could turn on the TV and let the muffled voices play endlessly in the background like white noise, but at some point I will have to turn the TV off, and the silence is then only more deafening and noticeable. I could escape into a good book, but eventually the book has an ending. I could do many things, but eventually I would still have to go home at night, and face myself being alone again. Why is that so scary for me now?

I am a woman and of course we need to have our famous "circles" where we can sit for hours and talk with other women (or men) about the same things over and over again, until suddenly we realize we "feel better." We do not talk to get anything actually fixed. This is why it is extremely difficult for a man to be part of this circle. They are fixers. They will listen to a point before they no longer hear any actual words coming out of your mouth. They fall into an almost trance-like state where they have turned your voice off and no longer hear you, because they just want to "fix" whatever is wrong. They are already busy working on a solution. Us women do not always want something to necessarily be fixed....we just have to talk about it endlessly, sometimes for hours at a time, going from point A all the way through the alphabet to point Z, before arriving back to point A again, and then we are done with it. We have released it. We can let it go.

I no longer have that. I have not had that for over 20 years. It is no wonder I have so many thoughts racing through my head. I am working hard on becoming more like a man in my thinking and not having to actually "work the circle" or at least being able to work it in a faster fashion, but I fail miserably. Why? Because I am very much a woman. The best I can do is hope for a man who will be more than willing to just listen to me ramble on until I can complete the circle. Or at least be good at faking it.

My writing is one way I have discovered I can obtain some sense of relief. Paper is my friend and the letters being spilled forth into words become my voice. When my thoughts and emotions are overflowing, about to burst from the dams in my brain, I sit down and write. It flows. It is easy. It is natural. It is soothing. It is my friend. It is always there...always present....always willing and ready to listen. It does not need to fix anything for me. It is just there. Present.

Presence. Presents. I think having the presence of someone beside you is indeed the best present one can give to oneself.

Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Yahoo Images

it is snowing again today!

cold and bitter...all dug out...

some more blizzard pics

the snowblower man arrived....I think we have at least 20-24 inches of snow!

digging out...

well you would never know we had a blizzard today except for all the snow and drifts around...it is sunny....blue skies......though very cold and the wind is still blowing like crazy. I did manage to shovel the walk out front by our door and made a path out back for the birds to have places to walk around and I gave them some fresh seed and water. I cut big portions of snow into blocks and lifted that top layer off with the shovel first....then the bottom part was all powdery stuff and easier to shovel.....it only took me about 10 minutes to clear a path to the feeding area and uncover the water dish.....so far no birds....

I called a young man to come and snow blow out my driveway....meanwhile I just had a little girl come to the door asking if I wanted them to clear my drive. Not sure how they were going to do that other than maybe shoveling? I don't know how she could have done much cause the snow was up past her knees! hahaha..she was so cute....and there were others in the 4-wheel drive SUV.....so maybe she is the one who just goes and asks if someone wants their services. I should have asked them how much they were going to charge. It might have been less than the 20.00 the other guy wants....I don't keep cash on hand and I had to scrounge around to get that. I had to write Noah an I OWE U for his bank.....which upset him terribly! After the man called today to confirm coming out I think he wants more money now as he is thinking it is deeper than last night. I was fortunate as I don't think mine drifted deeper but.....we did get some ice on top and it is a bit hard now on top. In fact...some areas I do not even sink down in the snow.....I walk on top of it. Which is so weird. SO if they come and want too much I will tell them to forget it......I will get my shovel out there and do it a little at a time. I don't have to go anywhere anyway. Here are a few pictures....though they do not really show the snow as deep as it is! Wow...I just opened my door to check what damage the city snowplow did at the end of my driveway and another truck with 2 men drove up asking if I wanted them to clear my drive! I should have said YES and let them do it! I hope the guy gets here soon and does not bump up the price!

she is incredible.......(Say It's Possible) by terra naomi

People from around the world filmed themselves and sent their videos to me. I asked everyone to answer the question "what would you do/want if anything were possible?" in three words or less. THANK YOU to all of you. This project is a true reflection of what we can do together.

Directed by Jonathan Bird (www.jonathanbird.tv) and produced by Sam Englebardt and Terra Naomi.

For more information on how this video was created please go here: www.terranaomi.com.

Peace and love to the world in 2007.

love
terra... (more)

we are now officially under a blizzard warning...level 3...no one allowed out on roads except emergency crews

this is joe....the dog I wrote about before....I adore him......

these pictures are hard to look at. This dog has the saddest eyes yet he looks at me with hope. I wish I could save him and get him out of the crappy life he has. If you check out the pictures...in the middle of the pen area on the ground is a ROW of piles of poop. It is partially buried in the snow......the holes he has dug are also partially buried with snow. His pee has frozen on the fence or the ground...sigh.........he is still an amazing dog....

near-blizzard conditions here now...

it looks like a blizzard out there now......so I guess I will shovel as it falls! pictures to follow!

if everyone cared-- nickelback

Nickelback If Everyone Cared Lyrics

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars FOR satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen I, I'm I'm alive (I'm alive)
Singing Amen I, I'm alive

[CHORUS]
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing

Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I,Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen I, I'm alive (I'm alive)
Singing Amen I, I'm alive

[CHORUS (x2)]

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
(x2)

We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died

the snow has begun.....right around midnight...slightly after......

i'm not ready to make nice - dixie chicks

Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show Monday the 12th and Tuesday the 13th

Click title for more information!



I love this show.....watch it every year if I can....

WKC TELEVISION COVERAGE
USA Network

Monday, February 12
8:00 PM - 11:00 PM ET/PT
Best of Group Competitions will be judged in the following order:
- Working
- Terrier
- Toy
- Non-Sporting

Tuesday, February 13
8:00 PM - 11:00 PM ET/PT
Best of Group Competitions will be judged in the following order:
- Sporting
- Hound
- Herding
Followed by Best In Show Judging

can I scream a tiny bit now?

okay........so somewhere down toward the connection to the sewage line I guess...maybe there is something blocked.......

cause when Noah was sitting in the tub tonight......I had the washer going at the same time......next thing I know when the washer hit the spin cycle and was spinning the water out.......it all was gushing into the tub through the seal up near the faucet as well as backing up in the toilet! I had water everywhere......I called the landlord....who seemed very unconcerned and said he MIGHT be able to get someone here tomorrow.....but probably not till sometime on MONDAY!!!!

Oh yeah.....so where am I supposed to pee or otherwise till then? Let alone Noah....who may likely freak out if he has to do his business in a bucket?

I cleaned up the floor...the tub is not yet drained out....it has been 2 hours. The toilet has finally drained down.....great. I have cleaned up the place a bit in case the landlord brings a worker over here.......but my office is a mess but they have no reason to be in there. The door can stay shut. The rest of the house is fine.....

this was not what I had planned for a Friday night. I was to be working. The landlord wanted to bring a plunger over to try that before he would ever even think about calling a plumber. AND he wanted me to help him plunge...which I told him I did not have time to do (but I think I scared him off as he never called back to even check to see how things were....and I ended up doing all the plunging by myself which did no good anyway).

He just does not want to pay the extra for an after hours plumber's call......but that goes along with being a landlord. I think I scared him off as when we were talking and I had water backing into the toilet and into the tub and Noah standing there panicking...I probably raised my voice to him on the phone a bit and told him I guess it all depended on how much damage he wanted to have to pay to get fixed later as right then more water was gushing in and there was already 2 inches on the floor.....the tub was over half full and still coming in.....and I had no time to talk to him on the phone! NO plunging was working. No amount of Liquid Plumbers is going to fix this. This is another problem obviously when the water is backing up into the tub or toilet without doing anything!

he is crazy. ....I am thankful I got a shower earlier today and it went fairly well then. I am thankful we were done with Noah's bath and rinsing the shampoo out of his hair before all this happened. I guess I should have held off on the washing of one load of clothes as things may not have escalated to this point. Maybe the landlord knows these things already and just is a laid back sorta guy who does not let anything ruffle his feathers.....I don't know. BUT it ticked me off that he did not think water gushing in around us was an emergency. When I asked him what we were to do for a bathroom for the next 1-3 days he asked me "well isn't the water going down the toilet?" HELLO?????????????? I have water backing up and running out on the floor so NOOOOOOOOO it is not going down!

breathe.......breathe.........

all is well now.....to hell with it. I will let the water drain. We will make do. I will somehow make peeing or heaven forbid pooping in a bucket FUN for Noah.......or take him to McDonalds and let him go there. I will somehow magically rise and shine and get my sorry ass out of bed or off the sofa and re-dressed in time after working tonight/tomorrow morning....just IN CASE they decide to show up to check out the problem tomorrow. ( I'll be damned if I am going to call and make arrangements on fixing this. I have called him twice this week already....this time on an emergent basis....he seems unconcerned. ) This could mean less than 4 hours of sleep I am sure. Fine...I can sleep in my clothes...that cuts down on a step. I am not going to have them come into my home with me not here to work on anything....so I guess my plans of doing much else will be put off till I know for sure they have been here and are done and gone.

Okay.....I need to put that load of clothes in the dryer.....spin water out of towels......and hang to dry for now...as they will need washing but I am not sure I can do another load without the same thing happening and crap I may need them again for the same thing so I may as well wait. I want to finish sweeping...baking cookies for Noah and a few other things here...... so much for my working......at least not yet.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH HAS DIED

Being True to the Inner You

We each operate within belief systems that are in no way exactly the same, even if there exist some similarities between them. In a way, we each walk around within our own bubble colored by our past experiences and the understandings and conclusions we've made about ourselves and the world at large from these experiences. We co-exist within multiple realities, yours, mine, hers, his, and so on. The beauty of this is that reality becomes about what's true for you at this moment. Before you can understand the true nature of your reality however, you have to look within and find out what your stored conclusions are.

For the most part, these are not at the forefront of our conscious awareness and so require us to look within and examine the layers of our attitudes. We have to check-in with ourselves and find out what our fears are and why we have them. What are they? Are there fears about our immediate world or are they shadows that we haven't faced? Look around your immediate surrounding. Are your fears about the world in this moment, your attitudes, based on what is immediately around you? Or is it based upon your perception of someone else's reality? If the latter, can you really know someone else's whole reality or do you only see the small snippet of the outer end? What does this mean?

We have to check-in with ourselves and find out how we define who we are. How do you define who you are? Is it through the identities you hold or is there something more to you? Are you friend, wife, son, daughter, and so on? Or is there something more?

In essence, you begin the train of questioning as to who you are, what you want out of life, what you think life has been about so far and where it is going, and engage with the layers of your inner understanding. It is only from here that you can begin to honor your own truth. To honor it, you have to first know it.

Being true to the inner you begins by understanding what your internal conclusions about yourself and the world are, and working within your own perspective to grow toward your version of truth. Khalil Gibran's poetic words on self-knowledge convey this beautifully when he writes "Say not, I have found the truth, but rather, I have found a truth." The point is that, no one can claim and convince you that there is only one truth. No one can come or should come and claim to you that they have your truth. What's more is that your version of truth will evolve as you do, as you grow and change.

Let the rose of self-recognition blossom in your heart so that you can live life directly from it

just misc. junk

So I take a shower this morning after getting my 4 hours of sleep....no...I guess it was actually 4-1/2 hours of sleep. Figured the shower would help me wake up. I noticed about halfway through the water was starting to gurgle a lot and then not drain properly. SO I am thinking 'oh great, we have frozen pipes or something clogged' so I finish the shower and get the plunger......and all this sludgy crap comes up.......I clean the hair from the drain.......and the water is sorta going down the drain a bit better. I then heard gurgling in the toilet....and in the pipes around the toilet.....thinking oh great.....has anyone flushed this yet this morning......remembering I had and Noah had. SO I flushed it......and noticed the water level rising in the toilet bowl.....so I stuck the plunger in there........and it went down......a bit.......not much.....but did not overflow.

Then I see that the two problems are connected.....somewhere......cause when the toilet water drains out of the bowl.......it seems to be coming up into the tub. NOW this is CLEAN water........not sewage and crap......we are not flushing down toilet water after we used it. SO I flush and plunge a few more times....turn on the scalding hot water in the tub........I called the landlord....thinking maybe there is more of a problem than just something clogged.

While talking to him I finally got the tub draining.........and the toilet is getting better.....so I am hoping whatever was in there stuck is moving along.

The landlord did make a proposition.....NO...not that kind. He said since I have been a very good renter and I had originally expressed an interest in buying this home....he wanted to know if come summer when my rent lease is up if I might be interested in buying the house because they are thinking about selling it already......and they would like to sell it to me (on land contract to make money)....since I am a good renter and showed interest in it.

I told him I appreciated the offer but would have to see what life was throwing at me by then.....as right now I was only able to work part-time hours which means I am no longer generating the income like I did before. I COULD work more if I can ever figure out a schedule that actually works........I have been trying to do that now for a year......and so far I still am not past part-time......or barely. SO.....I told him I would definitely consider it.

Downside is...if he is really going to sell it and I do not buy it.......I may be looking at yet another move in 6 months! I moved 3 times last year....and right now would not even have the money to make another move let alone deposits and all that crap. At this rate I will be charging everything in my life which is not good unless I can get a grasp on my hours and work schedule along with the rest of my life! BUT......if I do......I will seriously have to consider buying this then or letting it go....and maybe getting something else somewhere else. This house is nice and the location is great....but there are times when a slightly larger house would be even better.....Noah could definitely use a separate room for his school stuff and therapy stuff. I could use my own office area......etc. We are better than we were before but still a bit shy on space......and now Noah is wanting to get into model RR trains.....set those up. You really need like a basement area for that.

SO lots to think about. We shoveled snow last night even though I guess I did not really have to. My 4-wheel truck would get over any snow in the drive...but I do like to keep it cleared off to get the mail etc.

It is sunny......and already 12:17 and I still have work a bit....have a bite to eat......homeschool Noah.......and work on putting some things away in the house. I am thankful the landlord did not come out or have to today....I still have all my Christmas boxes of ornaments sitting here waiting to be taken back to the garage and put away.....but it has been a bit too chilly to be out there for an hour or two moving stuff around!

AND I got an abrasive comment on my Dear Noah blog....from someone against paddling kids for any reason. They were commenting on one of my posts from 2004 where I said I had paddled....aka swatted......Noah on the butt to get his attention. This was through his diapered butt. Oh well......I am not going to get into it here.

I try to let things be....let it go......just take things for the way they are. I made a vow this year to embrace it all......good or bad.....and that is what I will still be trying to do. Grab what I can when I can....and hopefully give a little back too.

sparkly snow...

well the astronut has had attempted murder charges added to her accusations....

I definitely believe with what she was carrying she intended to murder that other woman.

If you check out the pic of her now and before.....she does not even look like the same woman anymore....wow....what a bizarro story

freezing temperatures

with these freezing temperatures I have to think about all the people out there on the streets without a home or place to go inside to stay warm at least. Here where I live now I see few homeless people on the streets. In Denver I saw it everyday....at least 100 people or more every day lying on the sidewalks beside the shelters because there was no more room inside. They would be lined up in a row side by side underneath blankets to keep warm. A couple would always stay awake and stand guard...or at least it appeared that way. They did seem to watch out for one another and someone from the shelter would come out occasionally and make sure they were okay and had something hot to drink. It is pitiful when we as a nation cannot even come up with a simple solution to this but instead tend to turn out backs and allow our brothers to lie freezing in the street and homeless.

I also worry about the animals being outside during these temperatures. Natural wildlife I have no idea how they survive it. I try to put fresh seed and food out along with fresh water at least once per day for the birds and squirrels and rabbits here. I worry about dogs being left outside.

My grandmother has a neighbor who has put a dog outside in a pen and basically forgotten it......it is an old rickety wooden fence about 3 feet high all around....chewed down at the tops. His name is Joe. He is a sweet dog.....deserving so much more than the life he has there in that pen. He is left outside no matter the weather. It can be pouring down rain and lightning outside and he will be there. His owners do NOT clean up the dog poop in the pen......which is now nothing but a mud floor with big PILES of poop all over. Only the storms clear that down a little bit. He has no grass to walk on......no gravel.........no sawdust or straw. It is mud. There are huge holes in the ground probably where Joe dug......when it rains his pen fills with standing water and you can see him out there standing in mid-leg deep rain mud puddles. It is pitiful. Everyone told me he was mean and I thought to myself I could not blame him if he was. What crappy world he must live in. Never having company....never being talked to......never being touched or stroked or played with. His little igloo doghouse is far too little for him now. It also sits over a deep hole.......which he probably had to dig in order to have room inside the house.....maybe it is like a foxhole for him then. Someplace to get in and snuggle down for the night.

Anytime I go visit my grandma Noah and I take treats to Joe. We always go out to him. When I first heard he was mean I was leery about going up to him. He was always barking and wanting to jump the fence to get to you.....but he looked like he was always smiling at us. I started to go over and take him treats......talking to him......petting him. He was the gentlest dog I have ever known....just soaking it all up. SO now every time we go over we stop and talk to Joe. We pet him...play with him a tiny bit and feed him treats which he loves. When it is time to go we always go by and tell him goodbye...petting him again......he always has a sad look on his face then. He little spirit looks completely broken. I know the owners have been turned in to the Humane Society before........and yet Joe remains outside in those conditions. I am afraid if they were turned in again......Joe might get put down. Some would say he would be better off.

I just wish there were a way I could have him. He looks like the dog that plays Air Bud.
I have yet to take pictures of him or his pen. I should. NO ONE would believe the conditions he lives in. Pure filth....and yet he always has a lot of love to give to me...and will still act like he wants to play. I hope during these temps they have at least made it to where he can get in the garage to keep warm.

I wish someone would put the owners out on the street for a night or two......do something to wake them up to what they are doing to that poor dog. See these owners are really bad....because they have another dog.......and they keep that one inside all the time. SO they have 2 dogs......Joe......who has been left outside since a pup......and this other dog......who never goes out other than to play or pee/poop. Joe only gets to watch life go by on the sidelines.

life can be so crappy sometimes......and I wish I could wave a magic wand and take away all the pain and suffering from so many......including those who can't even speak for themselves.

I can't have a pet right now where I live. IF I could I would do something I have never done before. I would go steal that dog and bring him to my house and give him a good home. He would have a nice yard to run and play in......a place to stay warm and out of the bad weather when it was bad......he would be given a lot of love.

It breaks my heart to think that he is out there again today......when the wind chill is about 15 below zero.......he probably has no fresh water......no warm place to be....he could be lying out there frozen fast dead to the ground and the sad part is.....his owners would not even know it. I am sure when they feed him they just dump it and go. They never check to see if he is even around.

has anyone seen this??? holy crap

ORLANDO, Fla. - A

NASA astronaut charged with attempting to kidnap a romantic rival in a love triangle with another astronaut was allowed to go free on bail Tuesday on the condition that she not contact the alleged victim.

The judge told Lisa Marie Nowak she could be released on $15,500 bond, then asked if she understood the conditions. She responded "yes."

Nowak, a married mother of three, stood in a jail uniform, looking down during most of the hearing. She planned to return home to Houston, and the judge ordered her to wear a tracking device.

The 43-year-old robotics specialist faces charges including attempted kidnapping, attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery.

Police said she drove 900 miles, donned a disguise and was armed with a BB gun and pepper spray when she confronted a woman she believed was a competitor for the affections of Navy Cmdr. William Oefelein, an unmarried fellow astronaut.

Nowak rode aboard Discovery in July. Oefelein, 41, piloted the space shuttle Discovery in December. They trained together but never flew together.

Nowak told police that her relationship with Oefelein was "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship," according to an arrest affidavit. Police found a love letter to Oefelein in her car.

According to authorities, Nowak believed another woman, Colleen Shipman, was romantically involved with Oefelein. When Nowak found out Shipman was flying to Orlando from Houston, Nowak decided to confront her early Monday, according to the arrest affidavit.

Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers in the car so she wouldn't have to stop to go to the bathroom, authorities said. Astronauts wear diapers during launch and re-entry.

Dressed in a wig and a trench coat, she waited for Shipman's plane to land and then boarded the same airport shuttle bus Shipman took to get to her car, police said. Shipman told police she noticed someone following her, hurried inside the car and locked the doors, according to the arrest affidavit.

Nowak rapped on the window, tried to open the car door and asked for a ride. Shipman refused but rolled down the car window a few inches when Nowak started crying, the statement said. Nowak then sprayed a chemical into Shipman's car, the affidavit said. Shipman drove to the parking lot booth and police were called.

An officer reported following Nowak and watching her throw away a bag containing the wig and BB gun. Police also found a steel mallet, a 4-inch folding knife, rubber tubing, $600 and garbage bags inside a bag Nowak was carrying when she was arrested, authorities said.

Two other astronauts attended the hearing. Steve Lindsey, commander of Nowak's Discovery flight last July, testified that Nowak would obey the conditions of her release.

Chris Ferguson, a pilot on the mission, also attended the hearing. Asked afterward about Nowak's behavior, Ferguson said "perplexed is the word I'm sticking with."

Oefelein and Shipman, who the Houston Chronicle said worked at Patrick Air Force Base near the

Kennedy Space Center, did not immediately return calls seeking comment.

NASA spokesman James Hartsfield in Houston said that, as of Monday, Nowak's status with the astronaut corps remained unchanged. "What will happen beyond that, I will not speculate," he said.

Hartsfield said he couldn't recall the last time an astronaut was arrested and said there were no rules against fraternizing among astronauts.

Police said Nowak told them that she only wanted to scare Shipman into talking to her about her relationship with Oefelein and didn't want to harm her physically.

"If you were just going to talk to someone, I don't know that you would need a wig, a trench coat, an air cartridge BB gun and pepper spray," said Orlando police Sgt. Barbara Jones. "It's just really a very sad case."

According to NASA's official biography, Nowak is a Naval Academy graduate who has a master's degree in aeronautical engineering. She has a teenage son and younger twin girls.

Oefelein has two children and began his aviation career as a teenager flying floatplanes in Alaska, according to a NASA biography. He studied electrical engineering at Oregon State University and later earned a master's degree in aviation systems at the University of Tennessee Space Institute. He has been an astronaut since 1998.

I cannot believe she basically got only a slap on the wrist. She is obviously a bit psychotic....and this is the caliber of people they are sending up into space representing our country? I don't know about you but I most certainly would NOT feel any safer if I was that other woman knowing she is back out on the streets! Did you read what all she had with her? Sounded like she was going to kill that other woman. She is obssessed about another man who is not with her too......I am just gonna have to sit and shake my head on this one for awhile.....

amazing new singer from Chicago just starting out - (for you tony)

some interesting quotes

Aristotle..."Men create gods after their own image, not only with regard to their form but with regard to their mode of life."

Abraham Lincoln..."It will not do to investigate the subject of religion too closely, as it is apt to lead to infidelity."..... "My earlier views of the unsoundness of the Christion scheme of salvation and the human origin of the scriptures have become clearer and stronger with advancing years, and I see no reason for thinking I shall ever change them." ....."I am not a Christian."

Mark Twain..."Faith is believing what you know ain't so."..... "Man is the religious animal. He is the only religious animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion---several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat, if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven."

Joseph Campbell..."What gods are there, what gods have there ever been, that were not from man's imagination?"

Home - by Katharine McPhee

(I LOVE this song...click on the title link above to hear it)

Mmmmmmmmmm
Yeah

You are the world within the world that I exist
You are the touch that just won't fade
You are the end and beginning of each and every day
You are the reason I stay sane

It's hard to see beautiful
Oh, it's hard to see beautiful
In your own eyes
But you make me beautiful
For the very first time

Does anybody know what it's like
To feel larger than life
To look deep in your soul
And know you're not alone
Does anybody know how it feels
To find something that's real
And make it your own
That's when you know that you found home
Home
You found home
Home

And when the strings inside me
Unravle to the ground
You are the hand that gathers me up
And when I'm laughing so hard
That I can hardly breathe
How do you know just when enough's enough

Oh, it's hard to feel beautiful
Oh, it's hard to feel beautiful in your own skin
But you make me
You make me beautiful
Over and over again

Does anybody know what it's like
To feel larger than life
To look deep in your soul
And know you're not alone
Does anybody know how it feels
To find something that's real
And make it your own
That's when you know that you found home
Home
You found home
Home

Don't let me down
'Cause I've waited all my life
To find, yeah

Does anybody know what it's like
To feel larger than life
To look deep in your soul
And know you're not alone
Does anybody know how it feels
To find something that's real
And make it your own
That's when you know that you found home
Home
You found home
That's when you know that you found home
Home
You found home
Home

young folk

Music video for Peter, Bjorn & John's single "Young Folks" featuring Victoria Bergsman of The Concretes.

if i told you things i did before
told you how i used to be
would you go along with someone like me
if you knew my story word for word
had all of my history
would you go along with someone like me

i did before and had my share
it didn't lead nowhere
i would go along with someone like you
it doesn't matter what you did
who you were hanging with
we could stick around and see this night through

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about our own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care about is talking
talking only me and you

usually when things has gone this far
people tend to disappear
now it won't surprise me unless you do

i can tell there's something goin' on
hours seems to disappear
everyone is leaving i'm still with you

it doesn't matter what we do
where we are going to
we can stick around and see this night through

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about our own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care about is talking
talking only me and you

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about our own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care about is talking
talking only me and you
(repeat)
talking only me and you

talking only me and you
talking only me and you

robins in january......

This was the first year I can ever remember seeing robins show up in January. They arrived the last big snow/ice storm we had...right after we had unseasonably warm temperatures. I am sure they are all mixed up....and I wonder how they will survive till spring and what they will eat?

love will be waiting at home - this girl is amazing!

another one......haha...."American Idol"....

love this song "Houswife"....this kid is great......Jay Brannan

BOOKKIT free online bookmark manager

I just discovered this today when I was looking for a free online bookmark manager. This is an amazing place...you can import or export bookmarks/favorites from your IE and Firefox browsers......and XBEL. I imported all my bookmarks today without any problems from both IE and Firefox. I love how they organize it and obviously you can then access any of your bookmarks anywhere you are online.

Check it out at

www.bookkit.com

3 questions you must ask yourself every day...

What am I grateful for right now?
What am I happy about right now?
What have I done well today?

By writing the things that you are grateful for, it shifts your thinking from what you don’t have to what you do. What ever you focus on expands. So, if you are focusing on the things that you are grateful for, you will receive more things to be grateful for in your life. That is how it works. That is the law of attraction. The opposite is true as well. If you focus on all the things you don’t have, you will continue to repel the very thing you want from you, because you are FOCUSING on what you don’t have. That is the law of attraction at work also.

"The Universe is not punishing you or blessing you. The Universe is responding to the vibrational attitude that you are emitting.

The more joyful you are, the more Well-being flows to you." ~Abraham-Hicks

my new poetry/writings blog

I finally decided to set up a separate place to keep all my poetry and writings......the addy for that is:

http://sippingthevastspring.blogspot.com

hope you consider popping over for a visit sometime...and let me know what you think!

pipe tobacco

I love to smell it......in the pipe.....someone smoking it.......or just smelling it through the bags you buy it in. I was at Krogers tonight and I ended up in the pipe/cigar aisle and I almost bought me a bag of the cherry blend pipe tobacco just to bring home and take a sniff every so often. It smells SO good!

my question is......does it taste as good as it smells??

more on union soldiers memorial

union soldiers.......times past

I was looking through some pictures tonight and forgot I had these. It is a special memorial to the Union soldiers who died during the Civil War and a memorial for any other U.S. soldier involved in any of our wars.

What stands out most in my mind is this information:

Of the 2.5 million men who served in the Union Army during the Civil War, about 390,000 died in combat, or from injuries sustained in combat, disease, or other causes, and 280,000 were wounded. More than 1 out of every 4 Union soldiers was killed or wounded during the war; casualties in the Confederate Army were even worse—1 in 3 Southern soldiers were killed or wounded. This is by far the highest casualty ratio of any war in which America has been involved. By comparison, 1 out of every 16 American soldiers was killed or wounded in World War II, and 1 out of every 22 during the Vietnam War.

In total, 680,000 men died during the Civil War. There were 34 million Americans at that time, so 4% of the American male population died in the war. In today's terms, this would be the equivalent of 5.9 million American men being killed in a war.


These memorials and graves bring the loss into reality. I wonder if anyone ever thinks of them today?

ceaseless

if

if you really wanted to be with me.....you would already be here
can't you hear me screaming?
this pain is unbearable, it affects everything I say or do
it affects me so I do nothing
i am growing numb
you would not really want me anyway
i do not even want myself
i could care less
i am fooling myself
i feel nothing
i am fooling myself
it is all shit
i am keep telling myself
it is all
it is
was


Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

oh well fuck it all

anywhere - by evanescence

http://media.putfile.com/anywhere---evanescence

Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me

And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free

I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you

And at sweet night, you are my own

Take my hand



We're leaving here tonight

There's no need to tell anyone

They'd only hold us down

So by the morning's light

We'll be half way to anywhere

Where love is more than just your name



I have dreamt of a place for you and I

No one knows who we are there

All I want is to give my life only to you

I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore

Let's run away, I'll take you there



We're leaving here tonight

There's no need to tell anyone

They'd only hold us down

So by the morning's light

We'll be half way to anywhere

Where no one needs a reason



Forget this life

Come with me

Don't look back you're safe now

Unlock your heart

Drop your guard

No one's left to stop you



Forget this life

Come with me

Don't look back you're safe now

Unlock your heart

Drop your guard

No one's left to stop you now



We're leaving here tonight

There's no need to tell anyone

They'd only hold us down

So by the morning's light

We'll be half way to anywhere

Where love is more than just your name

Chains of Your Love

Bound by the chains of your love
I have no desire to be free
I am at your beg and call
I ask no mercy for me

To be consumed by the touch of your hands
Your voice, your eyes and your thoughts
The flames of desire licking my lips
Adding fuel to my needs and my wants

I choose to remain not because I am forced
But because of my love that is true
All I am and ever will be in this life
I give all of this freely to you

Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

I know I have "beg and call" but I did so on purpose....

it's all shit really

yearning

My thoughts are consumed with you
And with every breath I take
Your essence fills me up in waves
And causes me to shake

I tremble with just the thought of your touch
As you work your way down my side
Leaving me breathless once again
Allowing none of my ache to subside

This yearning, this sweet desire
I have never known before
My heart races to beat as one with yours
I am so quick to accept your lure

With every breath I think of you
I can see you in my mind
I feel your presence within my reach
Then I ask love to be kind

To fill me up with all you have
To kiss this lonely heart
To mend the wounds of long ago
And never let us part

Copyright ©2002-2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

border crap

I just have to vent a bit about this. Since the new "PASSPORT required" to fly to Canada crap has started......the chatter regarding it has gotten pretty amazing to me.

What bugs me the most about this....is the fact that SOME Canadians....immediately assume or tell us that WE PERSONALLY (each and every one of us I guess)...were the ones who WANTED this to happen. Like I was even initially out there personally building up that original fence.......placing the guard houses.......hand picking the patrol..... I had no say in this. I was not asked to vote on this. I don't want it any more than anyone else I have talked to wants it. On either side of the fence.

This is all for show......it is how politics work. Let's make it LOOK good on the outside......make people feel like they have more security.......after all, the politicians have to generate actual projects and work in order for them to retain their jobs and get paid.

While our country is far from perfect.....I try and stand by it......but it continually bugs me when I have what I thought were "friends" in other countries who personally attack "me" or others I know here in the States......making it sound like all the horribly bad choices being made currently are choices we have each "personally" made!

Wow I wish I wielded some of that power they apparently think I am blessed with.

I don't know.....maybe I woke up with a bad attitude......maybe I read something into something I shouldn't have. BUT this has happened lately every time something idiotic gets done by our country. It is like the outside world looking in honestly believes we ALL voted to make these things happen. Like every single person in this country has 100% agreement on all things.

Our government is based on parties. That is like picking sides in a dodgeball game. It is a crapshoot. You never know till you are IN the midst of the game if you picked a good team or not no matter what is said up front. Sometimes you find out you have not.....so hopefully you learn from your bad choices and don't make them again. Sometimes you are fooled into believing anything because you are fed what you want to hear. Sometimes you just want OUT of the game altogether but there is no place for you to run. Sometimes you spend all your time screaming which makes you too tired to actually do anything about anything. A lot of the time people just don't really give a damn.......one way or another. They will just go through the motions.....especially when something does not affect them personally. Unless someone is going to have to be crossing the border into Canada.....it is unlikely it will personally affect them much to where they give a damn. Sad.......but true.

For us others who want to or plan to in the future......would like to......we will now have more of a pain in the butt process to go through just to accomplish the same thing years ago we could so easily do. But please don't think that just because this was put into motion I had anything personally to do with it......or that I wanted it to be this way......or that I even believe for one freakin minute that this will somehow make me or my son SAFER. It is what it is.......and I think I smell bullshit.

there you are.......here I am.....

There you were.....here I am....is how it started out
Two lonely hearts searching to be held
Two voices crying to speak out
Yearning to be heard above all others
You saw me I saw you
Two souls from different worlds reunited
Each with a point of view
Closer we drew till our hearts merged as one
Walking carefree into the fire
Not realizing by remaining apart
Our spirits would begin to tire
Next came the longing, the aching, the crying
The insatiable needs beginning to bloom
All reaching a deafening crescendo
With your spoken words to me "soon."
How much longer need I wait?
Do my cries fall on deaf ears?
If I scream louder will you come running?
Can you no longer see my tears?
I grow restless, I am weary
I ache to be by your side
Still there you are ... and here I am
Just going along for the ride

Copyright ©2002-2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

table of love

I spread my wares out for you to peruse, to touch and to taste
You come to me with an empty plate in hand
Standing still, mouth agape, eyeing all you see with relish
Trying to decide which delicacy you will delight in without haste
My sweet aroma fills your mind to an intoxicating level
Making you heady with emotion for my sweetest entree
You dive in ever so gently, nibbling here, tasting there
Lingering among the sweet morsels laid out on my table
One by one you consume them all, pressing them between your lips
They burst and leave behind only a trail of ecstasy and bliss
Only the moans of pleasure loud enough for anyone to hear
Delighted in dining on your table of love



Copyright ©2002-2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

old time radio shows online for free

http://www.radiolovers.com/