slow 60 (stole from tony)

slow 60...

1.mac or pc?...what kind of question is that? MAC OR PC? they are both pcs
2.what do you read?...pretty much as much as I can get my fingers on
3.movies or dvds?...do they mean theaters or DVDs? Well I rarely get to go to the movies so I guess it would have to be DVD....though there is nothing like seeing a movie on the big screen or DRIVE-IN (IF you actually watched the movie while there) haha
4.where do you live?..in a glass house
5.favorite pet?...all of em
6.favorite sibling?...I have to plead the fifth for fear I will tick someone off (see...it happens again)BUT I guess I treasure them all about the same though I do have more in common with 1-2 than the others so we probably get along a lot better. My youngest sister and I are very much a like and despite the age difference we have a blast together!
7.bedroom wall color[s]?...who is checking the bedroom WALLS? um...I think they are a creamy vanilla
8.day/month of birth?...July 5
9.visit museums?...love to when I can
10.favorite kind of sex?...there has to be a favorite? How about just actually HAVING it?

11.cash or charge?...I rarely carry cash these days but that does not mean I charge things either
12.play a musical instrument?...I can play a bit of piano, guitar and harmonica and flute (like Native American flute)
13.soup or salad?...cold days are better for soup and hotter days for salad
14.milk or juice?...I don't seem to drink much of either....I love water and COFFEE
15.night or day?...both have excellent upsides
16.do you garden, indoors or out?...are we talking vegetable garden or something else? hahaha...um...okay....I would say yeah......when I can I enjoy it....but as I get older I don't know......it is a lot of work.
17.house slippers?...I tend to prefer going barefoot...but...have and will wear slippers or sandals
18.fave movie genre?...do not really have a favorite genre......as long as it is a good movie!
19.visit art galleries?...when I can
20.favorite vegetable[s]?...I love corn and cauliflower and broccoli....though beans and peas are also good (oh...let's not forget POTATOES-yams and whites)

21.city or country living?...what...what I prefer? Or what I am doing? I probably prefer semi-country....tis good to be off somewhere private but not too far out in the boonies!
22.toast and?...jelly or jam......though peanut butter on it is good from time to time and so FILLING!
23.position for best sleep?...well now it is on my right side
24.cats or dogs?...like em both but dogs a bit better cause they are more lovable and personable
25.favorite car?...I don't really have a favorite
26.formal or casual?...either as long as I am comfortable...but I tend to be a lot more casual more than not
27.do you still play?...of course..but NOT head games
28.coke or pepsi?...neither anymore...I drink mostly water and coffee....some teas...
29.long or short hair? I love long!
30.quiet or background music/sounds?...either whenever appropriate or not

31.rough or gentle?...gentle, rough when needed
32.early riser?...well sort of......I am working in the early morning hours before going to sleep
33.visit historical sites?...yes I have and would again. It is always interesting to do so.
34.favorite meal?...well..one of my all-time favorites is still fried chicken, potato salad and baked beans. Yeah....I also love just about anything GRILLED...ALL food is damn good fixed like that! I love MEAT. I eat a lot of it! As often as I can.
35.sports or mental tasks?..I have NEVER been into sports much....I never understood why anyone would want to go running after a ball for fun. Or exert all that energy and for what? SO.....it would be all MENTAL for me......
36.loud or quiet sex?...both when appropriate. Not like you can plan that or always stop it either!
37.broadband or dialup?...I have used both....have broadband now....much faster!
38.rain or snow?...I enjoy both
39.favorite season?...I love the fall.......spring is good too and winter....early summer.....I am not into extreme heat and humidity less.......so extremely hot sticky summers are not my thing unless I am sitting stripped in front of an AC!
40.left 'home', full time, at age?..AS SOON AS I WAS ALLOWED TO MOVE OUT. I graduated at 17 and the next month turned 18 and I moved out!

41.indoor or outdoor type?...either
42.online shopping/banking?...ALL the time
43.favorite fruit?...um.......I like bananas a lot! hahahaha.....I also like berries.......just about any kind. I like apples but they always leave me feeling hungry unless I slather them with peanut butter!
44.do you draw/paint?...I do but never seem to have time for either these days
45.visit zoos?...not very much because I feel so incredibly bad for the animals there
46.parents still living?..yes
47.favorite holiday[s]?...I have always loved Christmas and that time of year....Thanksgiving is nice too......
48.woods or beach?...both are nice
49.mashed or baked?...either/or
50.favorite color?..not sure I have a favorite anymore- I am more into earth tones now......greens and browns and rust......but I like about any color really......

51.gravy or drippings?....they can both be good but I do not eat much gravy -
52.music genre?...eclectic for sure......too varied to make sense
53.do you sing?...sometimes
54.underwear or commando?...I prefer wearing as little as possible whenever I can get away with it!
55.coffee or tea?...MOSTLY COFFEE...which I adore! I also enjoy tea however.
56.do you drive?...yes
57.tall or short?...I am 5 feet 6 inches without shoes
58.are you a writer?...yes
59.favorite snack?...um......are we talking foods?
60.your best friend?...mmmm

what kind of empath are you? (I had to do a tie breaker)

EMPATH: Empathy is one's ability to recognize, perceive and directly feel the emotion of another person. As the states of mind, beliefs, and desires of others are intertwined with their emotions, one with empathy for another may often be able to more effectively divine another's modes of thought and mood. Empathy is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes", or experiencing the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself, a sort of emotional resonance. In fiction, especially science fiction or fantasy works, it may also refer to (or be associated with) a supernatural ability to read others' emotions through psychic means. I have finally just accepted I have this ability or disability. I am working on what I can do with it because if you can receive all this crap in but then cannot positively release it back out....you are in a real bind. AGAIN this is something I have never talked about much with anyone else....as most in my family anyway would likely not believe me or think I was off my rocker.

You scored as Universal. You are a Universal Empath, you possess all the qualities of the other seven empath groups. You are what is known as an "Implicate" or Imp, a product of evolutionary design and genetic mutation. You are a psychic hybrid. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Empaths/) Judge 100% Universal 100% Healer 100% Fallen Angel 95% Artist 95% Traveler 95% Shaman 90% Precog 80% What Kind of Empath Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

here is what judge means:

You are a Judge Empath, one who is a "truthsayer". You can tell truth from lies, good from evil. You do not tolerate wrong doing. You are a defender of the good and the innocent. You are kind and merciful but do not play foolish games.

and healer:

You are a Healer Empath. You take in the energy of others and transmute it. You trigger transformation in others and free trapped energy. You are capable of great healing abilities. You walk between the worlds and bring waves of healing energy with your presence.

(I have to say that the above is all very true. Something I talk little about....but all true. I am also a STICKLER for truth. ANYONE knowing me knows that. However...whether or not I choose to apply my knowledge of what I know to be truth is another story.....and whenever I have chosen to ignore the truth it has always slapped me upside the head).

this CLEARLY resonates with me right now

January 15, 2007

Uncover Your True Face
Underneath the Mask

Many of us know the feeling of being stuck in a particular role within our families, as if we are wearing masks whenever we see the people we love. Maybe we are the good daughters, expected to always please others, or perhaps we are the family clowns, expected to be jovial and make everyone laugh. This same scenario can play out within a work situation or a group of friends. We may be so good at our role that we hardly even notice that we are wearing a mask, and yet, deep down, we know that we are not free to simply be who we really are. This can leave us feeling unseen and uneasy.

There is nothing inherently wrong with wearing a mask or playing a role. It is a natural part of any social dynamic and it can even be creative and fun. It only becomes a problem when you feel that you have no other choice than to wear that mask, and this is especially challenging if you realize you are never without one. Perhaps you have forgotten who you really are—a vast and unrestricted being of light—and have identified yourself completely with a role. You may be the dutiful, caring son who keeps his parents’ dysfunctional marriage intact. You may be the angelic wife who enables your husband to continue on a destructive path. You may be the cheerful daughter to a deeply depressed mother. Whatever the case, knowing the motivation behind your performance—the function of your mask—can help to uncover your true face.

Anytime we find ourselves stuck behind a mask, it is an indication that we are entangled in a dysfunctional dynamic in which our true self cannot be seen. We have been placed in this situation for the purpose of our own healing and, in some cases, the healing of others. From this perspective, life can be seen as a series of situations that call us to remove our masks—gently, and with great compassion for all concerned—to reveal the beauty underneath.

i believe - posted by a friend on another blog site but I agree with it all

I believe - . . .
That just because two people argue, it
Doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't
Mean they do.

I believe - . . .
That we don't have to change friends if
We understand that friends change.

I believe - ....
that no matter how good a friend is, they're
Going to hurt you every once in a while and
You must forgive them for that.

I believe - . . .
That true friendship continues to grow,
Even over the longest distance.
Same goes For true love.

I believe - . . .
That you can do something in an instant
That will give you heartache for life.

I believe - . . .
That it's taking me a long time to become
The person I want to be.

I believe - . . .
That you should always leave loved ones
With loving words. It may be the last time you
See them.

I believe - . . .
That you can keep going long after you
Think you can't.

I believe - . . .
That we are responsible for what we do,
No matter how we feel.

I believe - . . .
That either you control your attitude or it
Controls you

I believe - . . .
That heroes are the people who do what
Has to be done when it needs to be done,
Regardless of the consequences.

I believe - . . .
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe - . . . That my best friend and I can do anything or
Nothing and have the best time

I believe - . . .
That sometimes the people you expect to
Kick you when you're down, will be the ones to
Help you get back up.

I believe - . . .
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the
Right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the
Right to be cruel.

I believe - . . .
That maturity has more to do with what
Types of experiences you've had and what
You've learned from them and less to do with
How many birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe - . . .
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven
By others.
Sometimes you have to learn to.

I believe - . . .
That no matter how bad your heart is
Broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe - . . .
That our background and circumstances
May have influenced who we are, but we are
Responsible for who we become.

I believe - . . .
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.

I believe - . . .
Two people can look at the exact same
Thing and see something totally different.

I believe - . . .
That your life can be changed in a matter
Of hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe - . . .
That even when you think you have no more to give
You will find the strength to help.

I believe - . . .
That credentials on the wall do not make
You a decent human being.

I believe - . . .
That the people you care about most in life
taken from you too soon.

with you

Let the tears fall, like dewdrops on the lily of the valley
Though they are painful, they can be cleansing at the same time
Refreshing my soul you soothe my heart with your words
With your embrace, your breath, your glance

Cradle me in your blanket of love forever
With you I am not lost
With you I have no fear
With you I know joy

I know no sorrow in your arms, but instead, only bliss
As our love runs deeper than the roots of the mighty oak trees
Though we have suffered a few cuts and scrapes
It binds us together, like a 3-strand braided cord
That even our strongest foes cannot tear apart

And just as the lily of the valley’s meaning
I have come to know true sweetness
I have returned to happiness
I became better acquainted with humility
You’ve made my life complete


Copyright ©2002-2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

you to me

You to Me

You soothe my soul
As soft as a summer breeze upon my brow
You cradle me
As gently as when you held your firstborn
You see me
Without needing to turn your cheek
You hear me
Even when no words escape my lips
You love me
With every ounce of your passion
You satisfy me
Even though I ask for more

Copyright ©2002-2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

sigh............

I write. I write a lot. Sometimes I write a lot of crap. I have kept journals for years. My writing turned into printing for better legibility and then I switched to mostly typing as I am faster at that and can keep up with my thoughts. I have looked over former journals and re-read some of my entries and realize some or most were just crap! Nothing anyone including myself would be interested in. FEW entries relating to me personally really expressed how I was feeling about things. Sometimes it was just crap about the weather or day......just stupid shit. MANY of those journals I have since pitched. I guess in part because part of me was thinking "what if someone from my family reads this?" "What would they think of me?"

I also kept prayer journals over time. I went back and re-read those and realized what a hypocrite I was....something I cannot stand. It comes right in behind LIARS in my book. SO I pitched those. Through my SEEKING on the religious front I have discovered I have far too many questions that no one seems to be able to provide me with good answers for. I am pretty open minded and find aspects of many religions we can all use in our daily lives to benefit us. I have found many problems with the Christian faith which is weird since I professed to becoming a Christian back in my 30s. Of course now my Christian friends (if I have any left) will say I am going to go straight to hell or never was a believer to begin with. Well I definitely do not believe in many things the CHURCHES are trying to ram down people's throats today. I am going to stop here before I lose it......anyway.....I got rid of my prayer journals.

I started to blog. I liked it because I could hop on my PC and rant and rave and type and get it all out. It was cathartic...soothing....I also met some interesting people that way....and some liars. Just as in real life. I have found since blogging......and my entire family blogs now minus one......I still tend to hold back a bit when I make posts. Even my own dad told me if I did not like what I read on HIS blog I did not have to read it or come back. I guess the same could apply for me and my blogs....though I don't think many actually come read my blogs these days. NOT my parents anyway. Well maybe they do but they don't comment often if they do.

ALL I can say is I have realized I tend to post things here in such a manner as to not rock the boat. KEEP the peace......just let things ride. This means I no longer can sometimes just rant about an issue pertaining to let's say MY DAD or someone because HE MAY read it. Sure....we have gone the route of private blogs...or invite only blogs......but I like to make mine open for anyone to read if they want.

sigh.........I also worry sometimes about what others might think. I know sometimes I post things here that draw attention from others I may not want the attention of.

Part of me finds the need to just tell about my life....and all the crappy shit I have done over the years or have gone through.......and how I think and HOPE I have matured over time and gotten smarter. THEN part of me figures why waste the energy. WHO really gives a crap anyway. How will telling about anything I have or have not done over the years really help anyone?

SO few really know me. I am far from perfect but at least I am a "what you see is what you get gal" and it bugs me that I have to WITHHOLD crap here or there. I guess I don't......but I am finding I do.

so many times like right now when it is gloriously rainy outside and everyone is asleep and it is my night off....I sit down here to write. AND I find I hold back. I want to just let it all come pouring out. BUT I don't allow it.

thoughts of you

My mind is wandering with thoughts of you
You are present even though you are absent
Everywhere I go I walk with you
You have become a part of my world

Even if I try I cannot escape it
The thoughts of you are always there
They begin to consume me like a raging fire
Out of control causing my heart to melt

Inner emotions I cannot explain
Begin to explode from within
Molding and reshaping each single thought
Into dewdrops within my mind

Quenching the thirst , I drink like a sponge
Savoring the long overdue rains

How can I suddenly feel so alive
Yet be dying at the same time


Copyright ©2002-2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

love of souls

Time stands still for no one
And yet all we have is time
So much has already escaped us
I dread thinking of another minute passing
Without being by your side

Our souls have finally crossed paths again
We have been apart for so very long
Yet we instantly recognized each other
And could only think of the words “I know you”

You fill my heart with such emotion
My spirit soars beside yours
I ache to have you near me
In perfect unison as one

What can I say to others to make them comprehend
Our relationship, a bond...that goes beyond understanding
Only you and I know the depths of our connection
And once our spirits can touch each other’s hands
We will finally know what heaven is all about


Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

quiz time - -

You scored as C.G. Jung. You are more of a spiritualist than would be immediately apparent. Some of your notions are questioned by the cynical, but deep down you know the human consciousness is more than the flesh and tissue can account for. You tend to take a scientific observationist look on matters the average person wouldn't even begin to analyze. You personally are responsible for most of the ideas that are floating around in modern psychologist's/psychic's paltry little skulls. On the down side, you tend to be associated with that asshole Freud. C.G. Jung 83% Dante Alighieri 75% Miyamoto Musashi 58% Mother Teresa 50% Friedrich Nietzsche 50% Jesus Christ 50% Sigmund Freud 50% Elvis Presley 33% Stephen Hawking 33% Adolf Hitler 17% Steven Morrissey 17% O.J. Simpson 8% Charles Manson 0% Hugh Hefner 0% What Pseudo Historical Figure Best Suits You? created with QuizFarm.com

My ache for you is immeasurable.
Waiting for reunion is agony to my soul

more FIVE on Friday

1. What is one thing you always have with you? my thoughts
   
2. What are two things on your night-table (or next to your bed)? phone, mace
   
3. What are three things you learned in the last seven days? 1) Way too much about men having sex with horses (don't ask). 2) The Emperor Penguins can be nearly 4 feet tall and 90 pounds! I am not sure what I would think seeing a penguin BIGGER than Noah coming toward me! 3) Penguins can bounce up to 5 feet high!
   
4. What are four things parents always have to tell you? whether you want to hear it or not? hum....1) He is not right for you. 2) Maybe you should go back on your medicine. 3) Be careful. 4) hopefully "I love you."
   
5. What are five things you paid for in the last month? 1) Bills. 2) Food. 3) Christmas. 4) Gasoline. 5) Books and CDs.
   

FIVE on Friday....feel free to steal

1. Where is your hammer, and what did you last use it for? IN my tool bag in the utility room. I last used it to hang up some paintings in my house.
   
2. What is your everyday cutlery like? Pretty nice. I bought new when I moved in here last June. Nothing fancy...from K-Mart. I think Martha Stewart.
   
3. What are you using for a toothbrush? I am not sure why it is asking this. Does anyone use something other than a toothbrush? I use a dollar store toothbrush
   
4. How particular are you when it comes to writing implements? Not that particular, as I tend to do most of my writing by typing these days. Sure I LOVE all the goodies like wonderful papers and inks and pens and sealing wax......etc...but still tend to type nearly everything.
   
5. What is the most use-specific tool you own? um.......don't think I can publicly answer this one! hahahaha :O
   

free association........someone says pink I think of:

1) pussy (sorry but it is right there on the edge of my tongue and no I do not mean that literally!
2) panther
3) pagoda

see......that is how my brain works..........

temptation

Temptation

May I offer you a bite, to quench your soul
Some juice to fill your cup
Your delights of temptation fill me with sweetness
I swoon to the magick in your touch

Drink I say, till you can drink no more
As I pour out myself unto you
Your lips so sweet they smell like perfume
They quench the thirst in my soul

As dark turns to day I delight in you
Your sweet juices flood my mind
Like a river unleashed I drown in your waters
And rest on the banks of your arms

Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

here with me by dido (so hard for me to not read or want to write it as DILDO!) haahah

(WHY DON'T MY LINKS WORK AS LINKS ANYMORE??????)

Here With Me
by dido

http://media.putfile.com/here-with-me---dido

I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
And I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory

Oh I am what I am
I do what I want
But I can't hide


And I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me

And I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me

I don't want to call my friends
For they might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's been

Oh I am what I am
I do what I want
But I can't hide

And I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me

I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here

I won't go
And I won't sleep
And I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me

And I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me

Oh I am what I am
I do what I want
But I can't hide

And I won't go
I won't sleep
And I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me

I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here

And I won't go
And I won't sleep
And I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me

I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me

has anyone seen this?

I would love to see this movie......I rarely get to go see any movies at the theater and this is one I would not take Noah to see.......so......will likely have to wait and see it on a DVD or something. Anyway......I have heard it is getting bad reviews.........people don't like it.....perhaps because most would not understand it? I just feel a special connection to the movie......and believe I would understand it....because I believe I could totally relate to the experiences within the movie characters....

have you ever felt like you or someone you know were "here" before?

reviewing some definitions on soulmates...a couple of definitions I have loved to read include the one by Richard Bach and Thomas Moore

I know....here I go again on the "soulmate" theme. I just find it fascinating and never tire of reading about it. I have tons of material on the subject......and was reviewing some things today....and came across this list of simple definitions....with a couple of my favorites included. Just wanted to share. Oh...the photograph is one of my favorite fractals!

• Reincarnation: Some believe that a soul mate is someone with whom a person has shared other life times through reincarnation.

  The soul mate could be a friend, business partner, parent, child, sibling, spouse or other family member. These soul mates can be of the same or opposite sex.

• Other Half: Others believe, like the ancient Greek philosopher Plato, that a soul mate is a person's "other half". This concept was the basis of the movie, "The Butcher's Wife" where the idea of "split-aparts" searching for one another was explored.

  People all over the world believe that we are all searching for someone to make us whole and to share our journey of life with.

• A dictionary definition is: One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity.

Someone for whom you have a deep affinity . A person temperamentally suited to another.

• Predestination: The movie "Still Breathing" examines the thought that people are drawn together as soul mates by destiny or fate and that being with our soul mate is something we have no control over. This idea of predestination and connection even after death between soul mates was also examined in the movie "What Dreams May Come".

• Making Life Come to Life: Richard Bach describes soul mates as "A soulmate is someone who has the locks to fit our keys, and the keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we; we can be loved for who we are and for who we're pretending to be. Each of us unveils the best part of one another. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person were safe in our paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life. "

• Profound Connection:Thomas Moore describes a soul mate as "someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace. This kind of relationship is so important to the soul that many have said there is nothing more precious in life."

• Feeling at Ease With one Another: We don't believe a soul mate is the ideal or one and only person in someone's life. Our definition of soul mates is people who together want to work on making their marriage a great one. Their relationship feels like a natural fit, and although they need to work on their marriage, it is not hard to do. When soul mates first meet, there is an immediate sense of being at ease and connected.

• General Belief: Most believe that soul mates can accept and love every part of the other's personality and that life with a soul mate is easy and natural.

has anyone read "On Truth" or "On Bullshit" by Harry Frankfurt?

"Zen and the Art of Falling in Love" -by Brenda Shoshanna Lukeman ( a book I just ordered)

We are meant to live a life of love. When we're not in love, something's the matter. Unfortunately, most of us become resigned to disappointment, loss and upset in relationships. No matter how successful we are in other aspects of our lives, most of us don't feel naturally entitled to the same success in love. "Being realistic about relationships" is considered natural as we "grow up" and give up the fantasies, foolishness and dreams of childhood. But nothing could be further from natural. The fantasies, foolishness and confused expectations we develop as we grow older are precisely what put us into a state of paralysis. We don't realize that when we are not in love, something's wrong.

Being in love is the most mature and realistic thing you can do. It energizes your life, fills you with positivity, creates generosity and makes every moment beautiful. Being in love immediately dispels the sense of purposelessness and disconnection that many grapple with. The body heals, the heart is happy.

Being in love is our natural state. The real question we should be asking is, why aren't we in love all the time? What is it that keeps this most precious inheritance away? How can we reclaim it for our own and return to the intrinsic wisdom and spontaneity we had as children, when each moment was fresh and exciting and filled with adventure?

Contrary to popular opinion, real love never hurts or wounds. Only our confused expectations can undermine our lives and lead us to negative consequences. There is a Buddhist saying: "Give up poisonous food wherever it is offered to you." Once we know what is poison and what is nourishing in our relationships, once we learn the laws of love and how to practice them, we will be able to live a life of love and build relationships that cannot fail. Zen shows how we can turn our lives around at any time.

There are two different schools of Zen training: Rinzai Zen and Soto Zen. Rinzai Zen emphasizes koan study, breaking through the barriers that keep our life force tied in knots. Soto Zen emphasizes the application of Zen to everyday life. Although training in both schools goes on in a zendo (a place where Zen meditation and other forms of practice are taught), the fruits of practice appear in our lives and relationships. Both Rinzai and Soto practice are included in this book.

Zen practice offers us an entirely different way of looking at love and relationships. In Zen practice we learn how to make friends with every aspect of ourselves and others -- nothing is rejected, nothing is left out. We return to basics and become able to distinguish between real needs and false ones. In Zen one learns to sit, to breathe, to focus, to let go, to walk with attention, to cook, to clean, to receive blows and to be prepared for intense and intimate encounters. As we do this cravings, addictions, fears and compulsions of all kinds slowly dissolve.

Zen and love are incredibly compatible. The wonderful, ancient practice of Zen is actually the practice of falling in love. When one focuses on and welcomes all that life brings, each day becomes a good day in which you are able to fall in love with all of life, to continually find wonder, kindness, friendship and playfulness.

The book is divided into three parts and each part offers new building blocks to help you prepare to love and have a deeper understanding of love itself.

Part I, "Starting Out," emphasizes the initial steps we take in Zen practice. Not only does it explain the specifics of what a Zen student learns (including how to do Zen meditation), but it also shows how these steps apply to relationships and how they help prepare an individual to know himself more fully, release control and become available to love.

Part II, "Zen in Action," describes the ways in which the focus and insight attained in meditation is then transferred to all our actions and to our everyday lives. We see how Zen principles -- such as emptying yourself, being there for others, taking new steps and dealing with blows -- are crucial building blocks in developing and maintaining loving relationships.

Part III, "Advanced Training," takes us to the top of the mountain. As training progresses the individual develops the ability to deal with moments of intense confrontation, decision, conflict and the need for endurance through difficult times. As training advances and the student gains an entirely new awareness of herself and the world around her, she finally becomes able to "meet the beloved," to experience the essence of love.

In each part readers will learn new means of dealing with the usual trouble spots in relationships, such as miscommunication, lies, betrayal, jealousy, insecurity, boredom, feelings of worthlessness, loss and disappointment. As readers look at these issues through the eyes of Zen practice, they receive life-changing perspectives, instructions and outcomes.

Although Zen practice is simple, it is not always easy. The reader is asked to suspend judgment and disbelief, to be willing to become a child once again -- to explore, play, hug, cry and feel that the world is filled with endless possibilities, which it is, once you are willing to see it that way. Zen also requires the ability to say no to all of the people, beliefs, habits and desires that can take your faith and love away. Falling in love doesn't mean being blind or entering into fantasy. It means waking up out of darkened dreams to finally see the beauty that surrounds us.

This book is not only for those who wish to experience loving relationships, but also for those who wish to be able to enjoy their lives to the fullest. It is an invitation onto this wonderful path. A little endurance is required, along with the willingness to face the shadows that will dispel as soon as we invite in the light.

POW bracelets - - do you still have one?

if you do....you might have one with a name on it that someone is looking for. Check out the link to read the details.

http://thewall-usa.com/bracelet.asp

I remember these. They were still popular when I was in high school. I had one. Seems everyone I knew had one. I still have mine somewhere. I think. Maybe not. I usually don't throw those things away though.

Right after 9/11 they came out with similar bracelets called the Mercy Band where you could get names made on bracelets of anyone you chose that was a victim of 9/11. You can still order those if interested at this site....though there are a couple of sites that make different styled bracelets:

http://www.unldesigns.com/911mercybands.html

my Youtubes seem to be MIA

now I think I understand my inner struggles a bit better

I keep forgetting my heritage. Yeah......let' s see........there is the connection to Abraham Lincoln on my dad's side.....in fact that is even my dad's name in real life.........and them my mother's side....the connection to George Armstrong Custer..........yeah....related there too......and then the Native American connection no one talked about much from my father's side........uh huh

pretty much sums the MAIN issues up don't you think?

I am getting nowhere fast..my shift is over and I am not yet halfway done......crap

says it all...........

want to start posting some of my poetry....anyone know how to add separate pages or categories of posts or if we can on blogger?

LONGING

The sky is gray and cold outside but the fire is warm within
My mind wanders, I think of you, and the ache begins again
I lean back and close my eyes and pretend that you are here
I feel your hands grasp my flesh and pull my body near

My pulse quickens, your breaths turn shallow, my breasts begin to swell
The all too familiar throbbing returns, where my desire for you does dwell
My heat begins to rise to the surface, just beneath the mound
When with your mouth and fingers, my pleasures you have found

The fire rages within us both, the flames lick at my lips
I cannot resist you longer so I begin to move my hips
Against you and with you, moving back and forth as one
Over and over you hear my moans, then whisper to me... “come”

We shift positions quickly, as desire continues to grow
I cling to you in ecstasy, as you rock me to and fro
Our hearts are beating faster now, our essence is divine
Our love flows out so freely, and we drink as if it’s wine



Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

melancholy...apathetic.....moodiness......sad

I have no idea. I do know I am feeling all the above and have no idea as to "why."

I have often looked back over my life and tried to pinpoint a period in my life when I first started to notice moments of semi-depression or feeling sad without any apparent reason. When did I lose my drive...my motivation......even randomly....when did I lose my enthusiasm, when did I start to feel like everything in general was just too much effort? I think that is sad to feel that way and I cannot stand it when I do........but I started experiencing that when I was like a freshman in high school. Generally I am a happy-go-lucky sort of gal and in a pretty good mood for the most part and can try to find the positive side to most situations. I can "fool" myself into believing all is well even if it is not. I have learned to do that very well over the years.

But take today for example. Now grant it yes I am chronically sleep deprived so I am tired. That in and of itself can make one not really want to do all that much. BUT....I have noticed over the past few years an increased tendancy on my part to find ways out of doing things......or easier ways to get something done. I feel like I am most days "just skimming by" in life and that is not how I want to live. Sure I stay busy....too busy....which I know takes time away from actually enjoying your life and truly just living it. Some days I just want to sleep....which makes sense because of the sleep deprivation. Other times I just do not feel like doing much of anything! Just moving seems like an effort...and don't get me wrong. I am thankful for all I have....for being alive....for all the beauty that surrounds me every day!

When one tends to seek out ways to escape the world more than participate in it...I take that as a flare being shot up for help. I am not psychotic or anything like that....and I am nothing close to feeling like I have in the past years ago......so hopefully my family won't get in any uproar by reading this. I have just been wondering the past week or two what happened to make me feel like everything was just too tiring or exhausting before I even did it so I opt out to begin with? Sometimes even the simple things like getting dressed are huge efforts for me.....

Meanwhile time ticks on and is not waiting on my lazy butt. People are passing on, creating constant reminders of just how fleeting time really is......and the fact that we all need to make the most of what we have NOW when we can. I mean come on...what are we all waiting for? This is not a dress rehearsal as has been said. We don't get halfway through and say "well crap.....I want a do-over." I don't want to be numb and a slug .......

then again I think I become that when I have too much to deal with in my life......a way to cope and protect myself. I don't know...that to me sounds like another convenient excuse or cop out to explain off my feelings.

I seem to have lost my creativity...I sat down tonight to paint and could think of NOTHING to paint. NADA.......I am in the zone........zoned out.......a walking zombie but one that interacts on the lowest level to fool others into thinking they are really ever present.

SO my question to myself is why. WHY do I not feel like doing anything. Simple post holiday blues? Stressors in life? I have had many stressors in life before........but I remember being a highly motivated person and able to do anything I set my mind to. In fact I still can......the only problem now is I do not seem to be setting my mind to doing much of anything unless it is forced on me.......so what does that mean.......

I tend to look at life with rose-colored glasses on I suppose......Noah helps me continue to see the beauty in all things......but I tend to do that regardless....I always have.

Lately though it is as if the rose color has turned to gray. I have to admit I prefer the rose. This does not mean I am not happy....because I am. That is where things get confusing....

wolf moon

taken on the way to see my grandmother

songbird - eva cassidy

http://media.putfile.com/Songbird-by-Eva-Cassidy

crap I just cannot get into work lately........

this is NOT a good thing

Pillow Angel Ethics part 1 and 2...

Pillow Angel Ethics part 1

Sunday, Jan. 07, 2007 By NANCY GIBBS

The parents of Ashley, this severely disabled girl, have approved a growth-stunting medical treatment so she will have a child's body for life. What kind of doctors would agree to intentionally shorten and sterilize a disabled six-year-old girl to make it easier for her parents to take care of her? The question has had message boards steaming for days, but the answers are in no way easy.

Dr. Daniel Gunther and Dr. Douglas Diekema, who first revealed the details of "The Ashley Case" in the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, think that many of their critics don't understand the nature of this case. Talk to them, and you confront every modern challenge in weighing what medicine can do, versus what it should.

The case: Ashley is a brain-damaged girl whose parents feared that as she got bigger, it would be much harder to care for her; so they set out to keep her small. Through high-dose estrogen treatment over the past two years, her growth plates were closed and her prospective height reduced by about 13 inches, to 4'5". "Ashley's smaller and lighter size," her parents write on their blog "makes it more possible to include her in the typical family life and activities that provide her with needed comfort, closeness, security and love: meal time, car trips, touch, snuggles, etc." They stress that the treatment's goal was "to improve our daughter's quality of life and not to convenience her caregivers."

But the treatment went further: doctors removed her uterus to prevent potential discomfort from menstrual cramps or pregnancy in the event of rape; and also her breast tissue, because of a family history of cancer and fibrocystic disease. Not having breasts would also make the harness straps that hold her upright more comfortable. "Ashley has no need for developed breasts since she will not breast feed," her parents argue, "and their presence would only be a source of discomfort to her."

The parents say that the decision to proceed with "The Ashley Treatment" was not a hard one for them, but the same cannot be said for the doctors. "This was something people hadn't thought about being a possibility, much less being done," says Diekema, who chairs the bioethics committee of the American Academy of Pediatrics and was brought in to consult on this case. For the ethics committee of Seattle Children's Hospital, which reviewed the proposed treatment, "it took time to get past the initial response—'wow, this is bizarre'— and think seriously about the reasons for the parents' request," says Diekema.

First they had to be sure there would be no medical harm: removing breast buds, Gunther says, is a much less invasive procedure than a mastectomy. The hormone treatment was commonly used 40 years ago on lanky teenage girls who didn't want to get any taller. "The main risk," Gunther says, "is of thrombosis or blood clot, which is a risk in anybody taking estrogen. It's hard to assess in a young child because no one this young has been treated with estrogen." There were very few reports of thrombosis among the teenage patients, he says, "So I suspect the risk is fairly low. After treatment is finished, I don't see any long-term risk, and we've eliminated the risk of uterine and breast cancer."

The ethics committee essentially did a cost-benefit analysis and concluded that the rewards outweighed the risks. Keeping Ashley smaller and more portable, the doctors argue, has medical as well as emotional benefits: more movement means better circulation, digestion and muscle condition, and fewer sores and infections. "If you're going to be against this," Gunther says, "you have to argue why the benefits are not worth pursuing."

They knew that the treatment would be controversial, though they did not quite foresee the media storm that would erupt when they decided to publish the case and invite their peers to weigh in. "I felt we were doing the right thing for this little girl—but that didn't keep me from feeling a bit of unease," admits Diekema. "And that's as it should be. Humility is important in a case like this."

Gunther also understands why the case has inspired such intense feelings—but notes that "visceral reactions are not an argument for or against." This was not a girl who was every going to grow up, he says. She was only going to grow bigger. "Some disability advocates have suggested that this course of treatment is an abuse of Ashley's ‘rights' and an affront to her ‘dignity.' This is a mystery to me. Is there more dignity in having to hoist a full-grown body in harness and chains from bed to bath to wheelchair? Ashley will always have the mind of an infant, and now she will able to stay where she belongs—in the arms of the family that loves her."

But how far would Drs. Gunther and Diekema take this argument? Would they agree to amputate a child's legs to keep her lighter and more portable? Hormone treatment is nowhere near as risky and disfiguring as amputation, Diekema retorts; it just accelerates a natural process by which the body stops growing. Parents of short children give them growth hormones for social more than medical reasons, he notes. How can it be O.K. to make someone "unnaturally" taller but not smaller? To warnings of a slippery slope, Gunther tilts the logic the other way: "The argument that a beneficial treatment should not be used because it might be misused is itself a slippery slope," he says. "If we did not use therapies available because they could be misused, we'd be practicing very little medicine."

Pillow Angel Ethics, Part 2

Tuesday, Jan. 09, 2007 By NANCY GIBBS

Nine-year-old Ashley, who was born with a rare brain condition known as static encephalopathy, at home in the state of Washington. Her parents have approved growth-stunting medical treatment that will ensure she has a child's body for the rest of her life.

>

The doctors who agreed to an experimental treatment for a severely disabled girl thought there were clear medical benefits to keeping her small. Autopsy the doctors' argument, and you find that they concluded they could remove Ashley's uterus and breast buds because she'd be better off without them; they could keep her short because, since she'll never have a job or a romance, she'd not suffer the social consequences of smallness. "To those who say she has a right to develop and grow," argues Dr. Daniel Gunther, "Ashley has no concept of these things." But he is talking as a scientist; the philosopher uses different tools. Just because autonomy doesn't show up on an X-ray doesn't mean it can't be harmed by a scalpel. And if rights are inalienable, they exist whether the patient is aware of them or not.

Looking back on the debate within the Seattle Children's Hospital ethics committee, the doctors admit that there was an instinctive, emotional ingredient in the decision to proceed with hormone treatments and surgery. "I think in the end it was the obvious bond and love that exists between Ashley and her parents," Gunther says, "that convinced them this was the right thing to do."

That argument sends disability rights advocates around the bend. "Benevolence and good intentions have been among the biggest enemies of disabled people over the course of history," says Arlene Mayerson, a leading expert in disability rights law, who like many critics feels intense sympathy for these parents. "Many things that were done under a theory of benevolence were later seen as wrongheaded violations of human rights. " Medicine's role is to relieve pain and improve function, but Ashley was not sick, and the treatment was untested; do we really want to start bending the rules in the case of the disabled just for the promise of some benefit in the future, advocates ask? That's not healing, it's gambling.

Ashley may be an extreme case; but she is a terrifying precedent. Critics note that for brain-damaged children, development can come very, very slowly — so deciding when she's only six to change a child's body irreversibly can amount to a medical form of identity theft. Frequent touch is indeed important; but is it really so much harder to hug someone who is 5'6," or bring her to the table at dinnertime? Turning people into permanent children denies them whatever subtle therapeutic benefit comes from being seen as adults. "I know they love their daughter," says Julia Epstein, communications director for the Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund,(www.dredf.org) and the mother of a disabled child. "But they refer to her as the pillow angel. I know that's meant to be a sweet term, but it's terminally infantalizing." Her organization issued a statement affirming that "we hold as non-negotiable the principle that personal and physical autonomy of all people with disabilities be regarded as sacrosanct." With the right information and support, disability rights advocates believe, there is no need for a medical solution to an essentially social problem.

Doctors watching it all from the sidelines note that there are serious medical questions at stake. For one thing, there is no way to know the effect of high-dose estrogen on such a young girl. "Before moving forward wholesale, we need to study it carefully," says Dr. Jeffrey Brosco, an associate Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Miami, who wrote a dissent in the journal where the case was published. "Right now it is truly an experimental treatment." But he is sure there will be more interest: just last week a family he treats had to put their 19-year-old son into a group home, because he had become too big and aggressive for them to care for anymore. "They don't have the money for a personal aide at home," he says, noting that in Florida alone there are 16,000 people on the waiting list for home services.

In fact one thing everyone could agree on was that the case highlights the lousy state of home care in this country. "The web of support for families who really want to care for their family member is uneven and sometimes tattered," says Thomas Murray, President of the Hasting Center, an independent bioethics research institute. "If there were abundant support to help care for a fully grown son or daughter, then people might not be pushed to a radical medical option like this."

Those troubled by the Ashley treatment as a medical fix for a larger social problem are watching the direction that Britain is taking. The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecology has proposed that doctors be allowed to kill the sickest infants — which is already legal in the Netherlands. "A very disabled child can mean a disabled family," the college wrote to the Nuffield Council on Bioethics, and urged that they "think more radically about non-resuscitation, withdrawal of treatment decisions... and active euthanasia, as they are ways of widening the management options available to the sickest of newborns." At least in Ashley's case, however much the doctors debated the proper "management options," they all agreed that her life had a value worth fighting to preserve. But as a standard, that's a pretty low bar to set.

what I learned today...

I cannot hop like a penguin...in fact.....I seem to have lost the ability to really hop well at all......especially both legs at the same time. I imagine it has something to do with how much MASS I am trying to send up into the atmosphere for just microseconds at a time (along with a recently re-injured knee). My sister would say my age......anyone might say that......but it is not that. I am pretty flexible.....but have found myself looking for lazy ways to do just about anything. AT MY age what does that mean? Only that I am lazy? Crap.....I did not think things like trying to find easier/lazier ways to do things did not happen till like 40 more years from now!

Even with a bra on.......some things are just not meant to be done by larger breasted women! HOPPING is surely one of them.......next time I will just demonstrate how the penguins stand with the eggs on their feet.......yeah.......their stomach coming down over the top of the egg to keep it warm......wow......I might just qualify for that! holy crap.....

wow.....

I wish someone had told me that silly game I put on the sidebar had this music that kept repeating causing a Chinese torture effect....I removed it...

rise and shine you sleepyheads!

Already had my shower......made Noah some breakfast...some coffee for me (breakfast to follow).....and have a load of laundry in the washer.

Getting ready to start school in 15 minutes......today as part of our day we will start learning about penguins. We are going to do a 2-week long project just on penguins. I think Noah will enjoy learning about them. After school we will have some lunch and then I need to finish some work and get back to putting Christmas things away.

I imagine I will need a nap today if I can squeeze one in......even for an hour would be good!

poor Ohio State last night......they got their butts kicked!

it's 5:10 a.m. and I am off to bed

so far...

Since I decided to work last night for a bit....I ended up on the sofa to sleep because I did not want to sleep too long......wanting to call tony before he left to go to the hospital. Crappy me....I overslept......missed talking to him before he left.

I did read my horoscope today and found it interesting.....talking about how I would have all this energy to do things and may as well get them done!

So.......I was looking around at all my Christmas stuff feeling sort of suffocated and smothered.....finding it hard to believe Christmas was even here already. The temps here have been unseasonably warm.......and the most snow we have seen in this area so far would be what you see below on the slide show I made.

The day was bright and sunny.....and to be honest....while I love Christmas and all......I have already had my fill of the tree and decorations. I wanted to get my house back in order so the rest of my life and semi-routines could get back in order. SO I could finish organizing my office and house and clean things up. I decided to "just do it" as Nike commercials always advise us to do.

I walked over to the tree........my hand reaching out...but then I pulled it back. I actually was trying to TALK TO MYSELF IN MY HEAD "out" of taking the decorations down today. This instant tug-of-war began in my mind......"you have to do it sometime...may as well be now" ....to "oh, but you really don't feel like doing it today"....."one more day or another week would not really hurt"......to......."go FOR IT...JUST GRAB THAT DAMN TINSEL!!".......to....actually yanking my hands back OFF the tinsel....to "START.......JUST START.......START WITH THE TINSEL!!" "If you just do it.....it will all get done...you know this.....it always works that way!"

Which I did....I grabbed a handful........and thus it began. This is how I always work.......if I can just get started......then you cannot usually stop me. I took all the decorations down outside....inside.....and am finishing the tree now. AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF......I ALREADY HAVE MY VALENTINE'S DECORATIONS AND LIGHTS UP!~

so....I am feeling pretty energized and happy. Happy my life and year will begin......and can finally get started.......with things getting back to the state of "normal" for me and my world at least.

Stress management



A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience,raised a glass of water and asked, "how heavy is this glass of water?

Answers called out ranged from 8oz. to 20oz.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, theheavier it becomes. "

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. "
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.

one step to dessert heaven?

I was at Krogers the other night and saw this.......yeah....NEW......READY-TO-EAT cheesecake filling.....

it was extremely difficult for me to pass this tub of joy up. It was 3.99....I passed on it because I knew full well my tub would never make it into anything larger than a spoon headed into my mouth.

Kraft....an idea....make this in a smaller portion for us out here who would prefer just eating this right out of the container!

Christmas past...

this is a pic of melissa's tree......a psychedlic version and her cat who was far from impressed

strange lights

I went to my sister's house Saturday and took some pictures while there...and I always get some strange lights that show up.

One picture is of Melissa with some lights that we thought were being reflected off an object beside her on an end table......but when I took the picture of her tree a few seconds later I noticed this same "reflection" that had been beside her stretching up clear to the top left of the picture of the tree...it looks almost like a bony arm and fingers coming down...do you see it?

Now grant it this time I was playing around with the camera.....unintentionally. I snapped the one of Melissa not seeing the reflection when I took the picture. The tree I took on the NIGHT SCENERY setting and if you move while it is processing it will swirl the lights on the tree. However...what is the white light in the top left of the picture? Here is a bigger black and white version done in negative......reminds you of an x-ray



and this one looks like MUSIC NOTES


and this one like little cars or telephones attached to their cords

lazy day sunday

I have been pretty much worthless today. I honestly think if I could have I probably would have slept all day. I guess this is the chronically sleep deprived side of me coming out....screaming it needs more sleep. ALL I feel like doing is sleep though I did get some cooking done. I made a wonderful spicey roast chicken and some mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, hot rolls, some carrots....yeah...ALL comfort foods. WHICH after you eat you just want to sleep even more! I am thrilled I have a ton of leftovers for this week!

I also made a cheese ball for snacking this week.....and Noah and I made some gingerbread cookies tonight. I have cleaned up my kitchen at least 3 times today....am on my second pot of coffee....but keep forgetting it is sitting out there waiting for me to suck it down....so I have now turned it on and off at least a half dozen times. I guess it is time to make a fresh pot.

Here it is Sunday night. SO much to do....and I have no energy to do anything. I never made it out of my pajamas today...neither did Noah. I have school work to plan out for Noah....some work to do AND my Christmas stuff is all still up.

sigh.......that is okay...I am going with the flow. It will all get done in time.

"Don't think in terms of comfort; think in terms of freedom. Don't think in terms of safety, think in terms of being more alive. And the only way to be more alive is to live dangerously, is to risk, is to go on an adventure. And the greatest adventure is not going to the moon - the greatest adventure is going to your own innermost core." ~Osho

bruce cockburn- - it's different when it comes to you

She said she wanted me
I had to let her know
It was never meant to be
And she had to let it go
She was pissed and hurting but
What was I supposed to do?
I did not love her
But it's different when it comes to you

Lamentations everywhere
All the covers turned to blue
Desperation laid her bare
She told me everything I could do
She told herself a story
that flat out wasn't true
She made me feel sorry
But it's different when it comes to you

I don't want to go home tonight
I wanna turn loose my lust
I want you to squeeze me tight
Do the things that we discussed
I'll be my broken self
The zero hidden from your view
I don't usually do that
But it's different when it comes to you

I didn't know I could do that
But it's different when it comes to you

bukowski

The Genius Of The Crowd

there is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average
human being to supply any given army on any given day

and the best at murder are those who preach against it
and the best at hate are those who preach love
and the best at war finally are those who preach peace

those who preach god, need god
those who preach peace do not have peace
those who preach peace do not have love

beware the preachers
beware the knowers
beware those who are always reading books
beware those who either detest poverty
or are proud of it
beware those quick to praise
for they need praise in return
beware those who are quick to censor
they are afraid of what they do not know
beware those who seek constant crowds for
they are nothing alone
beware the average man the average woman
beware their love, their love is average
seeks average

but there is genius in their hatred
there is enough genius in their hatred to kill you
to kill anybody
not wanting solitude
not understanding solitude
they will attempt to destroy anything
that differs from their own
not being able to create art
they will not understand art
they will consider their failure as creators
only as a failure of the world
not being able to love fully
they will believe your love incomplete
and then they will hate you
and their hatred will be perfect

like a shining diamond
like a knife
like a mountain
like a tiger
like hemlock

their finest art

the skinny..........and rain

well...since I cannot post it here without it messing up my borders and margins and such......here is a link to SNOPES which talks about a former posting of mine at EFX2.......about super skinny models......I had been researching this for some time to find out if the original pics were real or digitally altered. It took awhile for SNOPES to comment on it but they finally did. The skinny models' photos were digitally altered so they were not quite as skinny as originally portrayed on some of those pictures I posted...but they were still pretty skinny. Go here to check it out:

http://www.snopes.com/photos/people/models.asp

Otherwise...my links I see do not work. You will have to copy and paste.

It is January 5 and 60 degrees outside.....rainy.....all I want to do is sleep today. I just made some coffee thinking it would help wake me up along with a loaf of chocolate chip bread. I had the oven on to make some lunch for Noah so I figured I would take advantage of an already hot oven and pop in a loaf of bread. The house is now warm enough to OPEN WINDOWS! Which I have done! I even turned on the house fan to circulate the air. I may be tempted to go out and uncover the central air at this rate!

I know we had holidays in here along the way but I swear it hardly seems like they have already come and passed. Maybe because we had no snow......I seem to associate my Christmases with snow. COLD temps....something.

I just listened to all the birds singing and chirping so LOUDLY outside! I bet they are extremely happy the temperatures are so mild!

I just checked...my front door wreath and hook has fallen off a third time. OKAY...that is it. UNTIL I can find a hook that will stay UP during rainy wet weather....I guess my front door will not have anything on it! AND my house seems to have shifted a bit in the dampness so I doubt an over-the-door wreath hook will work.

However...if that is the least of my worries today I am blessed.